fl Page 1037 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

College Wrestler Condom Bombs Officer With Puke-Filled Rubbers
The North Central College freshman lured out campus security with a fake call for a female needing an escort, and ambushed the officer with two condoms filled with vomit. I think I saw something similar in a Japanese porno once. [Daily Herald]...

Aaron Rodgers Enjoys Low-Hanging Fruit, Blasts Tony Kornheiser
Not only did the Packers QB call TK terrible, unfunny, and clueless, but he did it on ESPN Radio. This is not what the WWL had in mind when they consolidated their media empire....

Charges Unlikely In Packers Sexual Assault Allegations
Police investigating the Packers sexual assault case will turn their findings over to the DA tomorrow, but the AP is reporting that they will not recommend charges for anyone. It's still a good idea to avoid Wisconsin Dells strip clubs....

Weekend Winner: Suspect Refereeing
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like complaining about the officiating in the NHL and NBA finals, a tradition as old as sport itself. The peanut gallery's louder than usual today, perhaps not without reason....

This Is What Happens When There Are No Playoffs On Saturday
Big thanks to both the NHL and NBA for providing zero entertainment today. I'd much rather flip between two Finals games on Sunday night then enjoy each one separately during the other 44 hours of the weekend when nothing happened....

Police Investigate Possible Sexual Assault At Green Bay Packers Party (UPDATE)
Seven Green Bay Packers were found at a rented condo where two women told police they were assaulted on Saturday morning. Six of the players were cleared, but one unnamed player is still under investigation....

Would You Like To Read Rich Eisen's Flirty Emails?
If anyone still remembers the "Sexy Newslady Sends Bikini Photos To Rich Eisen" saga, some emails between Eisen and Alycia Lane have been revealed in court. They're pretty tame, but remember, he was married and old people are boring. [NYDailyNews]...

Oh, Good. Philadelphia Is Back
Vice-President Joe Biden takes in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals, along with a plastic mold of what appears to be his own head, as Philadelphia claws its way back to a 2-2 series tie. Never surrender....

Clay Matthews Not A Fan Of "Clay Mathews"
Clay with two Ts gets disrespected by the sign makers at his own charity golf tournament. Thankfully, water slides solve everything. [Twitter]...

Blackhawk Fans Do Not Handle Rejection Well
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Don't Be Afraid To Talk About Hockey
Will the Flyers make this a series or humbly submit to the overwhelming power of Antti Niemi? Would you rather see Philly humiliated or Chicago twisting in the wind? A tough call, but try to focus on the hockey. [AP]...

Reggie Wayne Missed OTAs Because His Ex Stole His Credit Card
Wayne's ex-girlfriend allegedly charged $95,000 on his account, and could face fraud charges. Not sure how this excuses him from workouts, but it's a better excuse than "I don't want to." [USA Today]...

Marlins Invite You To Attend Game That Already Happened
Florida is selling unused tickets to Roy Halladay's perfect game (at face value) which means they've finally figured out how to make losing more profitable than winning. They've also announced that June is "No-Hitter Month" at Sun Life Stadium! [MLB.com]...

NFL RedZone To Distract Spectators From Their Own Boring Games
Tired of going to the stadium and being forced to watch your own team? (I'm looking at you, NFC West fans.) Well, no more. RedZone, the greatest invention since football itself, is coming to a JumboTron near you....

Last Night's Winner: Philadelphia Flailers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Chicago Blackhawks, who seriously got under Philly's skin, as evidenced by Dan Carcillo launching himself at anything that moves, and Chris Pronger literally throwing in the towel....

Weekend Winner: The 215
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the 215 area code, home of baseball's most recent perfect game. And to think: They did it all without involving A-Rod or finger tattoos!...

Next Week Is Deadspin's Inaugural Blood Week: Submit A Story, Please
Yes, it's time for another go at a theme week for this site. Starting Tuesday, we'll be talking about all things bloody in sports, culminating with Pat Jordan driving out to Los Angeles to punch Sarah Silverman....

Golden Tate Sings Taylor Swift
When you're asked to croon a few lines from your favorite Taylor Swift song, the only correct answer is "I don't know any." Golden Tate does not give the correct answer....

Big Ben Combines His Love Of Bullies, Commerce
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tampa Bawww: Scribes Cry Foul Over Northeast Super Bowl
As soon as Roger Goodell announced that the 2014 Super Bowl would be played at the new Meadowlands Stadium, our nation's finest sportswriters hit the panic button. But lets bring them in from the cold with a little, you know, logic....