fl Page 1041 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Old People: Still Not Listenin'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
Your NFL Draft Open Thread, Again
The three-day draft appears to be an unqualified success for the NFL's ratings, as there are plenty of intriguing players left that people will tune in to see. Remaining names include Jimmy Clausen, Colt McCoy and Tim Tebow. Wait, what?...
Coming To A .Gif Near You: Chris Berman, Gesticulating Madly
Here is everyone's favorite ESPN personality, performing either a semaphore for "Boomer is not pleased with some element of this show's production" or the hand jive. [Video courtesy reader Patrick]...
Last Night's Winner: Tim Tebow's Promise
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like ... well, I just wanna say one thing. To the fans and everybody in Deadspin nation: I'm sorry. Extremely sorry....
Your NFL Draft Open Thread
The annual convention of Jets replica jerseys known as the NFL Draft will be gaveled to order soon. Please use this space to discuss....
A Treasury Of Pee-Wee Football Players Knocking The Crap Out Of Each Other
The NFL Draft is tonight, and in honor of that most drawn-out of events, let's take a look at the hard-hitting players likely to be climbing Mel Kiper's Big Board in 2020....
Because Prime Time Is Where The Motherfucking Draft Belongs. Your 2010 NFL Draft Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Ridiculous Rain Delay Proves Once And For All That College People Have Too Much Free Time
Florida Atlantic and Western Kentucky were mired in a rain delay of indeterminate length and decided to get a little silly rather than adjust their jocks and spit sun-flower seeds like those layabout MLBers. H/T, like, 15 of you. [YouTube]...
Ben Roethlisberger Suspended Six Games (Unless He Isn't)
NFL PR confirms that Roger Goodell will suspend the Steelers QB for six games, pending "behavioral evaluation" that could reduce/lengthen the suspension before the season starts. The question: Can he literally keep it in his pants until August? [NFL.com]...
Last Night's Winner: Football, As Usual
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. They might have even won NBA or NHL playoff games last night, but who really knows? Let's talk about games that happen five months from now!...
The Mel Kiper Files
Yoni Brenner is a Shouter & Murmurer for The New Yorker and a screenwriter on Ice Age 3: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs. He gives you this....
Color Me Fucking Shocked: Dick Vitale Loves Tim Tebow
You had to know Vitale would have a chubby for Tebow, the embodiment of heart. It was inevitable. The college basketball sportscaster chimes in today with an unbearable column about why Tebow should be taken high in the draft....
Roger Goodell Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NFL's Judge Dredd, who can finally claim victory in his war to take back the NFL from scum and villainy (a.k.a. Ben Roethlisberger's wang.)...
Willie Colon Had Enough Of Big Ben's "Sausage Party"
Colon said he felt women talking to him to get to Roethlisberger was "gay," and the male-to-female ratio at one club's VIP section was "a sausage party." Well, at least one of them managed to get some that night. [TSG]...
Milledgeville Officer Said Woman Was Making Up Her Rape Accusation
The day before the investigative documents were released, the Milledgeville officer who took the alleged victim's statement resigned. We've got a pretty good idea why: he said she was lying....
Yet Another Roethlisberger Incident: "He Pulled His Pants Down"
The Georgia investigation uncovered more allegations of sexual impropriety on Big Ben's part. In this case, on multiple occasions, he invited a woman to his home and made some very unwanted advances....
Jerry Jones Clarifies His "Social Moment," Explains That Bill Parcells Is, In Fact, Worth A Shit
Jerry Jones took the opportunity at a diabetes fundraiser yesterday to explain away his sodden musings on Bill Parcells, and somehow he came away sounding a lot sillier than he did last week during cocktail hour at Ocean Prime....
Ex-Florida Gator Would Like You To Know How Easy It Is For Athletes To Get Laid
Hoopster Ray Shipman is transferring from Florida after just two years on campus, but before he goes, he has a message for his fellow students: Owning a letterman's jacket is basically a license to tap ass....
The Roethlisberger Documents: "His Penis Was Already Out Of His Pants"
Now we know exactly what Roethlisberger was accused of doing that night: straight up, unprotected sex. Let's dig right in to the sordid details, shall we?...
Scott Stapp Ruins Baseball
Here's Stapp, known to you as lead singer for the band that made you hate both music and God, howling a song called "Marlins Will Soar." Sample lyric: "Let's play ball, it's gameday. We want strikeouts, base hits, double plays." [Stapp's Blog]...