fl Page 1046 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There's A Reason They Go South For Spring Training
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dissecting The Favre Ad, And The Fan Who Placed It
Well, we got our hands on the full-page ad one fan took out in the Hattiesburg American to implore Brett Favre to return (ginormous version below). And let me say, he is just the worst type of person....

Tim Tebow At The Combine: A Revelation, Set To Iron Maiden
As you know, Tebow impressed at the NFL Scouting Combine, running the three-cone drill in a hell-blazing 6.66 seconds. (It's the second coming! Of Mike Alstott!) Here's video of Tebow's big day, set to Iron Maiden's "Number of the Beast."...

Brandon Marshall Testifies In Williams Trial: "I Think About It Every Night"
Both Westword and the Denver Post have ongoing live blogs of the Darrent Williams murder trial, including Brandon Marshall's testimony on Friday that he may have "escalated" the confrontation between the Williams' party and the accused murderer. [Westword; Denver Post]...

Tim Tebow False Messiah Watch: Antichrist Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow False Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence - quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose - that the Florida quarterback is the Beast....

Porn, Pancakes, Jon Kitna And Jesus: Go Ahead, Rank Them. You Can't.
Some lucky parishioners got a visit from Jon Kitna at a very special breakfast yesterday, called "Porn And Pancakes: NFL Style." It's precisely nothing like you're imagining....

Three Questions About The NFL's New Overtime System
So the league appears to finally be changing the overtime rules. At first glance, the proposal is much better than the old sudden death. But then we got to wondering....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Money Changers Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence - quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose - that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Florida Marlins: The Team That Time Forgot
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Florida Marlins....

Devin Hester Hasn't Heard About Sea World Yet
Not that an athlete forgetting to watch the 10 o'clock news is newsworthy in and of itself, but Devin Hester's blissful unawareness of yesterday's Sea World happening is delightful in its own strange way....

The Glory Of Tebow Shall Not Be Revealed To The Apostates
Fresh off news that Tebow won't show off his arm for scouts at the NFL combine, now comes word that he won't participate in any drills. You know how a really bad movie won't be screened for critics? Yeah....

NFL Players Care Deeply About Health Reform, At Least To The Extent That It Affects Their Love Lives
NFL players have a health-reform lobbyist, though he remains "foggy" about what they want. Players are apparently concerned with "how cash from their health reiumbursement account is split in the case of divorce." Put that on a picket sign. [CPI]...

Former Bulldog Returns To School To Beat Up Freshman
Knowshon Moreno, now with the Broncos, is being questioned by police regarding a bar fight in Athens this weekend. But the accuser's story is a little sketchy, because Moreno allegedly punched him so hard he can't remember him doing it....

Exciting Development In The Abridgement Of Athletes' Rights: Blood Testing For HGH!
MLB plans to implement blood testing for HGH in the minors, and the NFL wants to start drawing blood, too, and somehow this is being framed as an exciting development instead of yet more tilting and yet another windmill....

Real, Live Brian Westbrook Says He Has No Plans To Retire
From 97.5TheFanatic:"My plan is to continue to play, I'm gonna put all my effort into doing that and I will make a return to the NFL. " He made no mention of Howard Stern's prostate. [SRI]...

Darrent Williams Trial Might Explain A Lot About Brandon Marshall
The murder trial of the man accused of shooting Denver Bronco Darrent Williams began yesterday and has already revealed new details of the night of his death—including some that might explain why Brandon Marshall hates Denver so much....

Randy Hustle, Giving It His All
Randy Moss, already vaguely unhappy in New England, took part in an NFL charity softball game. He hit what looked like an easy infield fly...want to guess whether he ran it out or not?...

Howard Stern Prank Caller Fools ESPN
SportsCenter was so thrilled to get "Brian Westbrook" on the phone, they skipped a very important step: making sure it was actually Westbrook, and not a Stern disciple expressing his desire to worship Stern's prostate....

DDate.com - The Leading Douchebag Singles Network
Now, remind me again, which aspect of this ad for a dating website was supposed to entice women? Was it the sideways pseudo-gang sign? The fact that he's at Cowboys Stadium, so clearly a fan? Or the t-shirt insinuating rape?...

Stories That Don't Suck: Seduced By Ebersol, Produced By Arledge, Fish, Near-Death Psychedelia
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....