fl Page 1051 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bills Hire Football's Answer To Tim Floyd
Chan Gailey, a man who lasted just three preseason games in Kansas City, will now have the honor of being fired by the Bills sometime next November, according to a guy on Adam Schefter's bowling team. [ESPN]...

Cum On Feel The Poise
Mark Sanchez threw for 100 yards and a pick yesterday, but he also managed not to light himself on fire or dance the hoochie coochie at midfield, so once again everyone has termed his performance — sigh — poised....

Nate Kaeding Suicide Joke Watch
Did you hear Nate Kaeding tried to commit suicide last night, but was unsuccessful because he's terrible at kicking footballs? Yes, San Diego's kicker is not a beloved man right now....unless you love terrible internet jokes. Then he's a godsend!...

Falcons Player Lawyers-Up Against Websites That Claim He Used To Boink A Dude
Ovie Mughelli of the Atlanta Falcons hired an attorney to cease-and-desist websites that linked to an interview MissJia.com had with a man who claimed to have had an intense sexual relationship with the fullback over many years....

Jets Fan Arrested For Liking Jets Too Much?
This overenthusiastic Jets fans was hauled out of Qualcomm Stadium yesterday for ...? We're not exactly sure, but when even the Chargers fans are defending his incessant hooting, you know something's fishy....

Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: <em>Chicago Tribune</em>, ESPN, And Many More
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

The Jets Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the New York Jets, who somehow keep winning games they shouldn't even be playing in. How are they not blowing it?...

NFC Playoff Open Thread: Buzzsaw. Fleur-De-Lys. Go.
Chris Berman boldly predicted this game would be a "shootout" with a final score of "77-75." That means everyone should take the under immediately. Biggest question of the day: "Will the 'Fuck Da Eagles' gal make an appearance? [NFL.com] [Photo-via]...

Poise To Men
Mark Sanchez went 12-for-15 and threw for 182 yards in his first playoff victory, and because at no point during the game did he chuck the ball into the Ohio or crap himself, he was deemed a model of poise....

There's Not Much Football In Your Football
The Wall Street Journal broke down exactly how much game action there is in the average telecast. Want to guess? Not even close. Guess again. Nope, less....

Romo-Favre Manlove Getting A Little Unbearable
Thank goodness the game's just two days away. We're dangerously close to the two just calling a press conference and fellating each other in front of the assembled media....

Ravens To Appease Football Gods With Ritual Animal Slaughter
Baltimore will display the lobsters won in a bet with Massachusetts's governor last week, as a warning to the Colts tomorrow. It's better than that time Ray Lewis sacrificed two people, and won the Super Bowl the next year. [AP]...

Bad Beats: And A Child Shall Lead You
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

So About That Marvin Harrison Story...
Isn't it annoying when journalists do better investigating than the cops? Philadelphia's new district attorney has called in the FBI to take a fresh look at the case. [ESPN.com]...

Mediocre Daytime Host And Mediocre-QB-Turned-Mediocre-Analyst Switch Jobs
Tim Hasselbeck and his infinitely-more-famous wife will swap places on Tuesday, meaning he'll host The View while Elisabeth fills in on NFL Live. Though their respective performances will be necessarily uninformed, you might not notice a difference. [AP]...

South Florida Player No Longer Lying About Jim Leavitt's Lies
USF's Joel Miller says he and former coach Jim Leavitt met in a church parking lot in order to get their stories straight to investigators about how Leavitt didn't slap him (even though he totally did.) [Fanhouse]...

Gilbert Arenas Charged With Gun Felony
Prosecutors have filed one count of felony gun possession against Gilbert Arenas, in what looks to be the first stage of a plea agreement. Police are actively searching for Javaris Crittenton's gun too. [WashPost]...

Hitler: The Drinking Game! Your Divisional Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

The Fate Of American Sports Will Be Determined By Nine Old People In Robes
Your official Deadspin analysis of American Needle v. NFL, the Most Important Case Ever Or Possibly Not: The NFL wants to light the Sherman Act on fire. The NFL will not be allowed to light the Sherman Act on fire....

The 2009 St. Louis Rams: A Season Of Failure
This pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?...