fl Page 1062 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Please Don't Mention Eggs To Mike McCarthy. Ever.
The Packers fired a 22-year Lambeau Field employee because coach Mike McCarthy thought he heard the guy tell him, "Don't lay an egg." That sounds about right. I wonder if the Metrodome is hiring? [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]...
NFL Mercifully Ends Stupidest Product Placement Ever
Philly's Brent Celek was fined 15 yards for an idiotic TD celebration Sunday, when he raised his right leg just like the doofuses in those Captain Morgan commercials. And yep, the awful rum maker was behind the whole thing....
Brave Peacemaker Of Casino Cafeteria Chair-Throwing Lady Brawl Rewarded With NBA Assistant Job
Yes, Tim Floyd, has been hired to be part of the Charlotte Hornets staff after the firing of head coach Byron Scott. GM Jeff Bower is now head coach. [Yahoo!]...
Playing Offensive Line Is Horrible. Jamboroo, Week 10
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Sometimes I Love Ochocinco So Much It Hurts
Even though they stopped him from sending mustard to Heinz Field, they can't stop Chad Ochocinco from rewriting the NFL rulebook. [Twitpic]...
The Aaron Rodgers "Sack Tracker" Is Why We Have An Internet
What your life needs now is a detailed interactive chart of all 37 sacks made on the Packers QB this season. I think it was just updated as Rodgers was taken down buying lunch at Quiznos. [Madison.com]...
Bobby Bowden Acts His Age, Forgets Score
Bowden may not remember what happened two quarters ago, but he remembers when FSU was good. That used to be enough for boosters, but after a mental lapse quite in character with an octogenarian, who knows....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Refreshed And Resurrected Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
I Loved It. It Was Much Better Than "The Bengals"
Broadway is producing a play about the life of Vince Lombardi. Because the only thing liberal East Coast elitst theatergoers love more than football is people from Wisconsin. [WSOCTV]...
Larry Johnson Raises Kansas City's Unemployment Rate By One
The Chiefs have released the unhappy running back, denying him the chance to break the team's all-time rushing yards mark. (He was 75 shy of Priest Holmes' record.) There really is no I in "public relations nightmare"team. [KansasCityStar]...
Tony Romo Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tony Romo, who won the weekend by not making a complete spectacle of himself. When no one notices you, you're probably doing your job right....
Great Moments In Press/Coach Relations
A reporter got the pregame scoop that two UCF players would be inactive. Here's audio of coach George O'Leary throwing a big old hissy fit and trying to bar the reporter from his postgame press conference. [Orlando Sentinel]...
Ochocinco Is Straight Cash
Why would a football player carry singles in their uniform pants? Heading to the strip club after the game? Buying off the refs? Or just throwing a little cheddar the Ravens' offense's way after having their way with them?...
Your Late Games Open Thread
No one disputes Dan Snyder's lack of football acumen, but John Riggins goes so far as to call him "a bad guy." While maybe not a war criminal, the Skins' season ought to be called the new Trail of Tears....
San Diego Horndoggery Day Continues
Chris Chambers was released due to the Chargers concerns about his personal life: namely, some Fatal Attraction level stalking. He's got a restraining order out on his ex-girlfriend, after she sent "lurid" text messages to his wife. [SD Union-Tribune]...
Your Early Games Open Thread
It's Cardinals vs. Bears in the match-up of teams we try to talk ourselves into believing are good. But they're not. Meanwhile, thankfully, the Skins game has been confined to the Zaxby's region of the country. [The506]...
English Language 1, Washington Fans 0
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Blessing The Child Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Ted Ginn: A Lot Like Jesus!
Says Miami O-Coordinator Dan Henning: "In the Bible, on Palm Sunday they threw flowers at the Good Lord, then on Friday they....beat the shit out of him, crucified him....in this league they give us seven days....only gave him five." [NBCMiami]...
Hockey Team Dooms Children, Elderly
Because the prairie provinces are generally uncontroversial, and those few controversies are always hockey-related, the latest media storm in Calgary is due to the Flames jumping the line to receive the swine flu vaccine....