fl Page 1066 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Early Games Open Thread
Perhaps as restitution for last week's Raiders debacle, the NFL is blessing most of us with two great games to start the day. Let's follow along with the Shockeybowl and Favre actually facing a competent defense. [The506]...
Bad Beats: Can Subliminal Messaging Lure Browns Bettors?
A weekly look at smart plays, oddball propositions and all your tales of gambling woe....
Stacy Andrews Accused Of Lovingly Punching Girlfriend
I always got Eagles offensive linemen Shawn Andrews and Stacy Andrews confused. But now I have a handy way of distinguishing the two: Shawn is insane, and Stacy is accused of face-punching his lady....
Black Mexican Prevents Black Out
Chad Ochocinco, along with the fine folks at Motorola, bought up the remaining unsold Bengals tickets to prevent a TV blackout on Sunday. Also, if you want to see "Law Abiding Citizen" tonight, he'll pay for that too. [WKRC/Twitter]...
LeBron James Is Sick In The Original Sense Of The Word
LeBron and two teammates have tested positive for Influenza A, and the Cavs are treating them like H1N1 cases. Worse, King James just gave more fuel to the anti-vaccine crazies: He thinks he got sick from his flu shot. [ESPN]...
Jerry Jones Thinks Wade Phillips Can Totally Beat The Patriots This Year
"Two years ago the Giants were in trouble," Jones said. "It was also absolutely expected that something was going to happen with the coach....Well, that same year they won the Super Bowl....This is a long, long journey." [DMN]...
Florida State Produces Student-Athletes, Not In That Order
In an NCAA transcript on FSU's violations, it emerged that some Noles read at a second grade level. Warning flags were raised when Leon Washington told the Jets at the combine his favorite book was "Go, Dog, Go." [Yahoo!]...
Dittoheads Respond To Rush's Nixed NFL Bid With Sadness, Holocaust Poetry
"Tonight..." RedState's tsquare intones in a headline, "We Are All Rush Limbaugh." And then it gets so much better....
Mike Sims-Walker's Week 5 Status: Out-Nookie
Jacksonville wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated for Sunday's game against Seattle, an absence that more deeply affected your fantasy league than the Jaguars, who lost 41-0. Why was he out? Why else? Coitus....
BREAKING: Frog (Q-Dying)
The helmet-happy Frog, of our NFLHOTW series appears to be quite ill and unable to recreate football plays this week. Adjust your fantasy football animal rosters accordingly. Developing......
Report: Limbaugh Dumped From Potential Rams Ownership Group
According to Adam Schefter, the investment group looking to buy the St. Louis Rams has decided that Rush Limbaugh's money is not worth his baggage and they plan to drop him from their ranks....
Florida Gymnast Lets Boyfriend Turn Her Apartment Into Weapons Cache
A University of Florida gymnast was arrested yesterday after police discovered "a safe, nine shotguns or rifles and two computers" in her apartment, all of which were stolen by her totally awesome boyfriend....
Terror Alert Level Lowered: The Thurman Thomas Tree Has Been Recovered
A wood carving of everyone's favorite Tecmo Bowl player (Bo Jackson is for noobs) went missing from outside Ralph Wilson Stadium yesterday. But no worries, as it's turned up across the border....
Brady Quinn's Cleveland Home On The Market
Well, not technically Cleveland, because no self-respecting athlete actually lives in Cleveland. But this 4-bedroom, 5-bath listing might be a sign that Quinn will soon be plying his trade a lot farther away. [Realtor.com via WaitingForNextYear]...
A Manly Manly Way For The Titans To Bust Their Slump
According to a not nearly tongue-in-cheek enough column in The Tennessean, the only thing that can turn around the winless Titans is a Cuddle Party in their pajamas. I'd be shocked if this wasn't ghostwritten by Vince Young. [Tennessean]...
Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....
Deanna Favre Is Also A Fan Of The Custom Jersey
It's our first celebrity entry in the custom joke jersey derby. In this case, a creative Vikings fan thumbs his nose at Packers GM Ted Thompson on behalf of the whole Favre family. At least it's not about revenge!...
Queering In The Press Box
Michael Silver: "By midway through the third quarter ... I was ready to take the Atlanta Falcons quarterback up to Gavin Newsom's box on the west side of the stadium and ask the San Francisco mayor to marry us." [Yahoo!]...
Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....