fl Page 1081 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NHL's Horrible CBA Comes Back To Bite Them In The Ass
After years of the NHL screwing fans, a few owners are now trying to screw the league. No one weeps for Gary Bettman, because turnabout is foul play....
Calling It Now: First To Worst
Beanie Wells finally ends his mini-holdout, promptly sprains his ankle in first practice. It's going to be one of those seasons for the Cardinals, by which I mean "like all the other seasons besides last year." [Arizona Republic]...
Lingerie Football League More Like The NFL Than Expected
Go ahead, just try to tell me you aren't crossing off the days on your calendar until next month's debut of the Lingerie Football League. And while the action may not be top-shelf, they're keeping stats like the big boys....
Michael Vick Suggests 'Michael Vick Day,' Gets His Wish
Organizers are planning a family-oriented "celebration" of Michael Vick in his hometown. What could possibly go wrong?...
You Mean Twitter <em>Isn't</em> Always The Best Place To Get Your News?
Confusion in Minnesota after Bernard Berrian tweets that Tarvaris Jackson is out for the year. He was just joking, though, to prove some kind of point. There would have been panic, had it not been about Tarvaris Jackson. [PFT]...
Andrea Peyser Shocked By Arrogant Athlete Tweets
Hah, just like how Moe and I are editing Deadspin today, the New York Post today let outrage queen columnist and sex goddess Andrea Peyser write a sports column! Sort of....
Lions Coach Mocks Matthew Stafford
Jim Schwartz had a bit of fun at the expense of the future of the Lions. He showed the whole team some vacation pictures, and then he said: "I thought I had a fun vacation - until I saw this.''...
Racist Redskins Owner Did Not Listen To His Wife, And Now He Is In Hell
Tomorrow's Washington Post magazine unearths some letters from the Redskins archives to convey "the innocence of this long ago era" when a racist named George Preston Marshall married an actress (pictured) who convinced him to move his football team south....
BREAKING: The Only Thing Not Perfect About Tim Tebow Is His Vision
The Tebow is nearsighted. He just got glasses before the ESPYs, but does not wear (or were) them during the football. No contacts, either. Yet, somehow he throws many, many touchdowns! HOW DOES HE DO IT? [Gainesville Sun]...
Clinton Portis Was Just Experimenting With His Hair Color, Not Dudes, Thank You
The intrepid Dan Steinberg is once again wandering around Redskins training camp and in his quest for gold, he struck oil instead by tapping the fertile mind of Clinton Portis about that Sisquo hairstyle he sported earlier this offseason....
Vikings Retirement That Somehow Doesn't Involve Brett Favre
Vikings defensive end Kenechi Udeze is retiring from football so that he can focus on his battle against leukemia. See, if you're having trouble deciding whether or not resume a career, this is an acceptable reason....
Brees On Gitmo: "The Worst Thing We Can Do Is Shut That Baby Down"
Super Bowl winning quarterbacks go to Disney World, while an all-around good guy like Drew Brees scores an all-expenses-paid trip to Guantanamo Bay. Sounds dreamy, right? According to Brees, Gitmo ain't so bad....
The NFL Distracts You From Gambling With Beer Pong
The NFL is all about building morally upright citizens, which is why they don't cotton to things like fightin', whorin' and gamblin'. But maybe while waiting to watch the big match, you might enjoy their sober new ping pong game....
Your Supremely Violent AFC Fantasy Football Preview
This week's fucking Deadcast guest is fucking Andy Behrens from fucking Yahoo! (Listen here, iTunes here.) FUCKTASTIC! Together we have produced, by far, the most useful fucking Deadcast to date....
NHL Exec Shoots And Misses With Fox News Ice Queen
When a Florida Panthers executive went on Fox News to talk about unemployment, he did what we'd all like to do, if we had no sense of decorum or shame: he macked on their anchor like nobody's business....
Jamal Anderson Does Not Really Want To Be A Porn Star Named Axel Steelcock
Jamal Anderson doesn't need this agita. A cocaine possession charge in February, and now somebody's hacking into the former Falcon's Facebook account? Well, at least that's what he'd like you to believe....
Bobby Bowden Has Had Just About Enough Of Your "Rules"
FSU's 14 forfeited wins puts Bobby Bowden a distant second in number of all-time D1 victories. The dignified thing to do would be to accept it, move on, and try to outlive outlast JoePa. That's not how Bobby rolls....
A One-Day Study On Use And Variance Of "Pussy" Uttered By Brian Urlacher
First Bobby Wade said that Brian Urlacher called new teammate Jay Cutler a pussy. Urlacher denied it. Then Urlacher said the radio stations starting this nonsense were the pussies. Explanations and clarifications disrupt a quiet Wednesday in the Windy City....
Sources: With Favre's Decision, ESPN Will Have To Turn Elsewhere For Worthless Scoops
One of the many tragedies of Brett Favre's non-unretirement is that Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen, ESPN's Woodward and Bernstein of the small-bore, will no longer be feverishly working their anonymous sources for the world's most trivial Favre scoops....
Cliff Lee Wins Roy Halladay Sweepstakes
Phillies give up farm parts for last year's Cy Young Award Winner and also add right-handed bat Disco Ben Francisco.[The Phillies Zone]...