fl Page 1092 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Florida State Takes Strong Stance On Chair-On-Face Violence
Florida State wide receiver Richard Goodman was arrested and charged with a felony for that on campus brawl last fall and has been suspended from the team. Oh, so suddenly the Seminoles doesn't want their players hitting women in the face with chairs? Sheesh, make up your mind. [Orlando Sentinel]...
Jets Sued For Manipulating Ticket Prices By Men Who Wanted Jets Tickets, For Some Reason
Three men are suing the Jets for manipulating seat-license prices in an auction. The plaintiffs would have an excellent case, I think, if their judgment and credibility weren't immediately called into question by the fact that they were trying to buy Jets seat licenses. In an auction....
'Whole Lot Of People Puckered Up' After Florida Steroid Bust, Says Comical Backwoods Sheriff
What happens when you mix steroid hysteria with two self-aggrandizing backwoods halfwits on either side of the law? This: "What investigators aren't sure of is whether Richard Thomas, 35, is telling the truth when he said ... he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capita...
Tim Tebow Turns Away Hotter Stuff Than You Can Dream Of
Percy Harvin, presented without comment: "If I could trade places for a day with anyone: Tim Tebow....We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, "Tebow, I want you." And he turned them down. I'm looking at him, like, "Man, you are crazy." [Pioneer Press]...
What's A Little Theft And Fraud Between Teammates?
Anthone Lott is a Florida Gator through and through. He's so devoted to his alma mater and his former championship teammates that when he wants to swindle someone in a crooked construction deal, only fellow Gator cornerbacks will do for marks....
Patriots Team Up With State Lotto; NFL Conveniently Forgets That It Pretends To Hate Gambling
Remember the NFL's feigned outrage over sports gambling in Delaware? All that sanctimonious stuff about tarnishing the game's image and leading children to degenerate lives of laying the points with the Pats on the road? Well, apparently none of that applies to state-run lotteries....
NYC Pitcher Throws No-No After Dad Dies Of Swine Flu
Throwing a no-hitter or four in high school baseball? Passe. Doing it the day after burying your father, New York City's first victim of swine flu? Now we're talking....
All Big East Baseball Games Now Decided By Dance Off
Connecticut and South Florida squared off in a classic Big East baseball tilt—or they tried to before a five-hour rain delay. So how do you kill time during the one thing more boring than Big East baseball? Simple: Worst community theater production of "West Side Story" ever....
Jeter On The Lam After Bank Robbery, Support Of PatriotsBlue Jays
Chad Floyd Jeter is wanted by police after allegedly robbing a bank in Alabama, while wearing a New England PatriotsBlue Jays cap misidentified by Alabama police as a Patriots hat. (Who did you think I was talking about?) He is considered armed and dangerously clutch. [Wicked Good Sports]...
Raiders Come To Terms With Fast, Toolsy Budget Airliner
The Raiders are teaming up with "low-budget, long-haul" Air Asia X and sticking their logo on the tailfin of an aircraft, now dubbed the "Commitment To Excellence" plane. A sad metaphor waiting to happen. [Examiner]...
Fake Ben Roethlisberger Has Internet Cancer
Terrible news, everybody. The cyber weirdo who is trolling the internet pretending to be Ben Roethlisberger has imaginary cancer. There's a PayPal link below where you can help send him an virtual bouquet of AOL sign-up CDs....
The NFL's Alarming DUI Problem
Interesting story by Yahoo's Josh Peter about the NFL's most under-reported problem: "At least 73 players on NFL rosters during the 2008 season have been arrested on charges of driving under the influence..."Yahoo!]...
Mark Sanchez Got More Than Free Trunks Out Of That Photo Shoot
You know Jets hunk Mark Sanchez and Hilary Rhoda, that super duper model who he was rubbing up against in his GQ photo shoot? Yeah, they're totally doing it now. [NY Post]...
Michael Vick Escapes From Prison!
Convicted dog murderer Michael Vick snuck out of the federal penitentiary in Leavenworth under the cover of darkness this morning, completely undetected by the media. How does he do it?!...
Never Try To Steal A Car From Najeh Davenport
If you see a car parked on the street with the engine running, you'd probably be tempted to jump in and take a ride. Just make sure it doesn't belong to Najeh Davenport, because he will chase your ass down....
It's The Michael Strahan Show!
I was just thinking the other day that primetime television needs more shows featuring NFL sack leaders in key acting roles. And look at that! It happened. Michael Strahan is the newest member of the Fox family....
Only Terrell Owens Can Cover Terrell Owens
Now that the city of Buffalo is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Terrell Owens, Inc., he's just going to go ahead and do his own sports reports, thank you very much. [WKBW]...
The Hunkification Of Mark Sanchez Begins
No one has any idea when or if Mark Sanchez might quarterback the New York Jets, so if you're going to take advantage of his god-given manliness to sell some magazines get on that now....
Yep, Brett Favre Is Definitely Coming Back
Non-retired football star Brett Favre has called in Dr. Andrews and will (reportedly!) have surgery on his bicep next week—which is not something a 39-year-old typically does unless he wants to play more professional football....
Terrell Owens Makes Buffalo Seem Like An Exciting Place To Live
Terrell Owens has been a Buffalo Bill for all of about six hours, but he's already the most beloved free agent acquisition in the history of football. Although to be fair....we are talking about Buffalo....