fl Page 1094 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Has Great Timing
This afternoon former pound-for-pound champion Floyd Mayweather Jr. will announce his return to the ring after a year-long retirement. The Mayweather camp will hold a press conference hours before tonight's Pacquiao/Hatton fight. [ESPN]...

Michael Vick Has Always Enjoyed Pitas ... Er, PETA
Michael Vick is ready to fulfill his community service requirementshis dream of defending animal rights in a PETA ad. The guy just really cares about this issue for some sudden unexplained reason!...

Guy Lefleur's Idiot Son Gets His Old Man In Trouble With The Law
Legendary Montreal Canadien Guy Lefleur was convicted today of basically lying in court to protect his son, which would be sort of honorable if the kid wasn't so clearly a jackass....

Chris Mortensen's Son Signs With Tennessee, Chris Mortensen Does Not Report
Anonymous sources close to the Titans have told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that the team signed Arkansas fourth-string QB Alex Mortensen as an undrafted free agent. His own son did not return calls requesting comment. [ArkansasBusiness]...

Swine Flu Paranoia Reaches Alabama
Huntsville, Ala.: "Right now, we are being advised by our Medical Advisory Committee to shut down all activities until further notice." [ESPN.com]...

The Legendary Redskins Ticket "Waiting List" That Doesn't Exist
Dan Snyder likes to brag that the waiting list for Redskins season tickets has over 200,000 names on it. Then why is the team begging people who aren't on the list to buy seats?...

If You're Reading This Post, You Now Have Swine Flu
The state of Texas is postponing all of its high school sports activities (plus some nerdy stuff) in order to keep their filthy population from spreading the deadly pork-based flu virus. You may commence panicking....

The War On Braylon Edwards' Manhood
Does Braylon Edwards care more about his image than he does about catching footballs? Because lately it seems that he's not doing a very good job of protecting either one....

Michael Vick Is Almost Free
Vick will be released to home confinement on May 20, before his full sentence ends on July 20. Then he begins three years of probation. I feel safer already. [ESPN]...

The Cowboys Picked Themselves Another Winner
Meet David Beuhler, place kicker out of USC and fifth-round draft selection of the Dallas football organization. I want to party with you and your miniature horse, Cowboy. [Dallas Morning News]...

The TeeBow Will Be In All The Ladies' Pants This Fall
I don't even want to contemplate the number of licensing agreements that are being violated here, but Tim Tebow-inspired ladies underwear is now available. I hear they come pre-soaked. (Sorry.) [TeeBows; via Deuce of Davenport]...

The Buzzsaw Bandwagon Has Found Its Driver
After 110 years for continuous football domination, the Arizona Cardinals finally have an "official" (sorta) fan club. And all they had to do was lose the Super Bowl!...

Your Mock Draft Was Wrong (Just Like I Called It)
The best NFL mock draft seen so far got 10 of 32 first-round picks correct. Most "experts" were in single digits. I predict that won't stop people from predicting next year. [Big Lead, WSJ]...

Former Footballer Seeks Justice For His Son's Murder
If you have time today, you really should read the story of former pro football player Vidal Mills and his obsession with finding and punishing the men who murdered his son....

OK, Just How Did Michael Crabtree Slip To No. 10 In The Draft?
As if from a Dickens novel, the 49ers found Michael Crabtree in a basket on their porch on Saturday with a note pinned to his blanket: One receiver, courtesy of Mr. Al Davis, Esq....

A Bold New Sanchez-To-Burress Era For Jets Fans?
Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum said that the Jets contacted agent Drew Rosenhaus prior to the draft to ask about Plaxico Burress's legal situation. [USA Today]...

Throwback Uniforms That Will Possibly Make You Want To Throw Up
If there's one thing that history has taught us, it's that mustard yellow and brown are excellent choices for professional sports uniform colors. See, this is why I miss you, American Football League....

And Now The Bill Cosby-Erin Andrews Comedy Minute
This is what happens when you try to put on 15 hours of continuous live coverage of an inherently boring event. Like there weren't already enough senile old men rambling at NFL Live desk....

Irrelevancy At Its Finest
South Carolina kicker Ryan Succop becomes the infamous 256th player chosen in the 2009 NFL Draft. He seemed pretty confident about getting picked. Next step before football, pomp and circumstance. [Shutdown Corner]...
