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Gun Safety Tips From Plaxico Burress
If you're looking for a bedtime story for your children tonight, may we suggest the felony criminal complaint of one Plaxico M. Burress. (It needs the initial, don't you think?) It's very short, but also very compelling and there's a life lesson in there for all of us. Namely, put down the wine befo...
College Football Roundup: Every Game Counts...Except When They Don't and Texas Gets Messed With
Oklahoma beat Oklahoma State late Saturday night 61-41. This score was enough to vault the Sooners ahead of Texas in the BCS Standings and, as a result, send them into the Big 12 Title Game against Missouri courtesy of the fifth tiebreak. (The sixth tiebreak was, in a nice nod to BCS totalitariianis...
Plaxico Burress Takes The Perp Walk
A loyal Deadspin reader who we will call "Ray," waited out the 17th Precinct in Midtown Manhattan today to catch one of the most time-honored traditions in sports—the athlete perp walk. Citizen journalism!...
Plaxico Burress Update: He Still Has A Hole In His Leg
Do you remember a couple of years ago when Dick Cheney shot that guy and the basic facts of story were so utterly ridiculous that all you had to do was say "The Vice President of the United States shot a man in the face" and that counted as both a joke and a serious analysis of the situation? That's...
This Is How Quickly A Game Can Turn
Last night, after a ridiculously silly personal foul penalty by Benny Sapp kept a Chicago drive alive, the Bears found themselves at the one-yard line with a 7-3 lead late in the first-half. A field goal would have given them a nice advantage heading toward halftime, while a touchdown would have put...
Someone Get Cutler A Crossing Guard Vest and Tourist Map, Stat!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Rich Gannon said that Jay Cutler has never been to New York before today. Really? A millionaire, star NFL quarterback, and he's never been to New York? Seems odd, but I looked back at the Broncos' schedule, and they haven't visited the Giants or Jets since Cutl...
FSU Fan Could Be Charged With Being Cranky, Missing Bedtime
Now this is no home-field advantage oncesoever: when a stray Florida Gators fan broke out the car keys to make noise in the face of an FSU Seminoles (and when the hell did this start? And do Cameron Crazies linger over the BMW keychain as they shake them at UNC fans?) in Tallahassee yesterday, the S...
The Cold November Rain
Chances are the weather sucks where you live right now. Rain, sleet or snow was a factor in five of the 1:00 games, and it's currently coming down hard in New England and New York. It also all but extinguished the playoff hopes of the Bills, Packers, Saints and maybe even the Redskins. Tampa Bay and...
Does Anyone Want to Switch Seats?
Romeo Crennel may not have a choice once this season's over, as his seat gets hotter and hotter each week. Despite the fact that Indy defenders were dropping like flies in this one, Derek Anderson couldn't get anything going for the Browns. His fumble in the 3rd, which the Colts returned for a touch...
A Mighty Wind is Blowing
It's apparently rainy and windy in the Bay, but as commentor "business socks" tells us, that hasn't dampened the spirits of the Buccaneers' cheerleaders. They'll need to step it up, though, as the Bucs are currently down 10-6 to the Saints in the third. Players rely on the cheerleaders for motivatio...
His Favourite Room? The Infirmary
This is apparently a shot of Plaxico Burress's place in Totowa, New Jersey. I'm going to venture a guess to say he won't be using the upstairs part of it for a little while. So it's your move, squatters. But if the small area his current physical limitations have him confined to has a television set...
Brian Piccolo Would Have Brought World Peace by 1994
In a story ostensibly about Lee Corso's shyness about being the recruiter to bring the first black athlete into the ACC back in '63 (and, yes, you should take a few moments to consider that) and chock full o'quotes from Corso deflecting credit, we are reminded yet again that Brian Piccolo (of "Brian...
Eric Moulds Allegedly Gives Autograph Seeker Knuckle Sandwich, No Autograph
A combination of WGR-550 AM in Buffalo and the Buffalo News (as collated by First Time Caller, Long Time Listener) have reported that Eric Moulds, former Bills wide receiver, allegedly slugged a man in the face early Friday morning because he wouldn't step the hell off and stop asking him for an aut...
NFL Preview: It's All About Timing
Last week, I was riding in an elevator with a friend of mine (let's call him General Tao). It was one of them fancy elevators with the t.v. screens constantly showing news updates, and it was packed. A story popped up on the screen about how People had named Hugh Jackman the Sexiest Man Alive. Sensi...
Jay Cutler Continues To Compare Himself Favourably to Other Quarterbacks
I can't be the only one praying that Jay Cutler keeps getting better and better, solely in the hopes that there is a corresponding escalation in the people he will publicly declare himself better than: "Sure, Mother Theresa helped a lot of people, but last time I checked, she never once threw for 4,...
Your Plaxico Burress Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound Update
So a few more details seem to be emerging about the bizarre "Plaxico shot himself at a club" story. The New York Post is now reporting that the incident took place just after midnight on Friday at a club called Latin Quarter in Manhattan, while Plax was out on the town with teammate Antonio Pierce. ...
UPDATE: New Orleans Saints Drop a Deuce, But It Isn't McAllister
Let it be known to New Orleans Saints' owner Tom Benson: your players will not tolerate you intra-business whoring. It seems Mr. Benson has this habit of bringing cars from the many dealerships he owns to the Saints' practice facility, and then trying to sell those cars to his players. It also seem...
Deion Sanders Forces Philly Fans to Engage in Some Long-Overdue Self-Reflection
This news is a bit old, but you're probably still so doped up on tryptophan at the moment that you won't know the difference. Deion Sanders had some not-so-nice words for Eagles fans following Philly's big Thanksgiving Day rout of the Cardinals. During the NFL Network's postgame interview with Dono...
Plaxico Burress Accidentally Shoots Self in Leg
Yep, you read that right. Jay Glazer is reporting that sometime last night, Burress fired a gun into his own leg and spent the night in hospital, but that the injuries are non life-threatening. More, obviously, as more becomes available. UPDATE: Apparently John Clayton is reporting the incident too...
College Football Preview: In-State Rivalries Take Center Stage
Texas beat Texas A&M 49-9 yesterday. They're now 11-1. But unless you were in Texas you had no idea this game was happening. Even I didn't think to check this score until late Thursday night. That's because I spent Thanksgiving with family. Included in part of my day was a trip to Ford Field to wat...