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NFL Season Preview: New York Giants
We're less than 12 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews...

Tatum Bell Declares Innocence While Suspiciously Wearing Rudi Johnson's Underwear
Yep, this is EXACTLY what the Lions needed. Our story so far: Rudi Johnson arrived at Lions headquarters on Monday to make a deal to become their backup running back, when his two large Gucci dufflebags were stolen from outside of CEO Matt Millen's office. Video surveillance cameras revealed that it...

J. Jonah Jameson Is Not Amused
Eat your heart out, T.O. This young man is Arland Bruce III, speedy receiver for the Toronto Argonauts, who play a strange variation of the game of football which includes 16 players per side, among them horses, elves and hobbits. Also the ball is made entirely of bacon. But another thing that makes...

Floyd Mayweather Missing $7 Million In Jewelry After Robbery
Which is a real shame because Mayweather was using the $7 million in jewelry as a hedge against inflationary pressures brought on by the falling dollar and the continuing mortgage crisis. That or it was just sitting around in his house on the night of August 17th between 7 and 9 when it suddenly di...

NFL Season Preview: Cincinnati Bengals
We're less than 24 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews...

Note To Self: Do Not Let Tatum Bell Check My Luggage
Running back Rudi Johnson had no sooner arrived in Detroit on Monday than he lost his luggage; not at the airport like God intended, but outside of CEO Matt Millen's office in the Detroit Lions locker room. While Johnson was in Millen's office working out details of a one-year deal with the team, he...

UCF Conference Call Takes a Detour Through Phone Sex Line
Fresh off a 17-0 victory over South Carolina State, the University of Central Florida set up a conference call with Notre Dame coach for a day, George O'Leary. Which would have been great. Except the released number was one-digit off and was actually a phone sex line. Uh oh. Cue the intrepid report...

Ricky Williams Gets High...er Salary, 1-Year Extension
The love affair between Miami RB Ricky Williams and Dolphins management is in full bloom, as the NFL's house practitioner of holistic medicine received an extension through the 2009 season, and reportedly a pay raise to boot. Terms of the raise were not disclosed, but my guess is that it involves la...

Get Ready For The Los Angeles Saints In 2009...Maybe?
An unidentified partner of the man trying to bring the NFL back to Los Angeles told a local paper earlier in the week that he had "no doubt" that the city would be home to a pro team in 2009. And we report that with all apologies to USC. Of course, no team has been identified by the league (or anyon...

Rudi Johnson Released From Bengals, Presumably For Good Behavior
You KNOW you're washed up when even the Bengals don't want you around anymore. Such is the case with Rudi Johnson, the tough Bengals running back whom you could pencil in for 1,300 yards and 12 touchdowns each season. At least that was the case before the franchise ran him into the ground. Last seas...

Aye Carumba! Chad Johnson Changes Last Name To Ocho Cinco
So Bengals wideout Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to "Chad Javon Ocho Cinco." Which I guess is only slightly better than "Chad Javon GoldenPalace.com." Chad expects to play in the Bengals' season opener, despite suffering a dislocated shoulder in the preseason and creating more needlework...

NFL Season Preview: Tennessee Titans
We're less than two weeks away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Today: The Tennessee T...

LenDale White Thinks Ohio State Sucks
Fortunately for White, unlike former USC teammate Carson Palmer—who told an LA radio station he hated Ohio State and their fans and then was forced to issue an apology— he plays in Tennessee. Which means he could probably run for Governor and be elected on the "Ohio State Sucks" platform. So don't ...

NFL Season Previews: Carolina Panthers
We're less than two weeks away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Today: The Carolina Pan...

Pacman Jones Just Got Reinstated; Receives News at Hooters
Dallas area strippers are rejoicing. It's probably just a coincidence that thunderstorms are in the Dallas forecast. Because, after over a year of suspension, Pacman is back. Jones confirmed the reinstatement with the Dallas Morning News this afternoon. Where was he when he received the news? Hoote...

Joey Galloway Is The White Tiger
Jon Gruden seems like the kind of guy who would be fun to hang around with as long as you weren't a reporter covering the Bucs. Witness the caddying incident with John Daly. But he may have outdone himself when he coined a new nickname for enigmatic receiver Joey Galloway: The White Tiger. From The...

NFL Season Preview: Miami Dolphins
We're less than two weeks away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Today: The Miami Dolphi...

NFL Season Preview: Arizona Cardinals
We're less than two weeks away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Today: The Buzzsaw Tha...

NFL Season Preview: Denver Broncos
We're less than a month away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Today: The Denver Broncos...

Tom Brady's E: Meet Will McDonough
In a really fascinating article and very well written piece, Brady's E, Will McDonough, is credited with the quarterback's rise from awkward media interviewee to a stylish, model-dating, European-vacationing metrosexual. Depending on your particular persuasion this either makes McDonough the anti-c...