fl Page 287 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's A New Season, But Drew Doughty And Matthew Tkachuk Still Hate Each Other
There’s only room for one Alpha Dickhead in the Pacific Division, and Drew Doughty and Matthew Tkachuk have now spent years trying to stake their claim at the top. ...
Are The 49ers For Real?
As five weeks is usually more than sufficient time to establish the true pecking order in the National Football League, it is now clear that Super Bowl LIV (as opposed to Super Bowl LUV) will feature the New England Patriots and San Francisco 49ers....
How Much Is China Worth To The NBA?
Adam Silver has been credited for many things in his time fronting the money of the National Basketball Association, and even after you allow for the 30 percent reputational mark-up when compared with the other commissioners in North American sports, he’s done quite well. But now he is confronted by...
Terry Bradshaw Spills Coffee During Halftime Highlights, Makes A Big Ol' Mess
Folksy goofus Terry Bradshaw was doing a highlight read during halftime of the Vikings-Giants game when he managed to spill coffee all over the tablet of fellow host Curt Menefee, like a big clumsy boob....
Big Boy Auburn Defender Rumbles Until He Tumbles After Recovering Fumble
In the dying embers of the first quarter of Auburn-Florida, Gators quarterback Kyle Trask lost the football and it landed straight into the arms of 6-foot-5, 315 lb. defensive tackle Derrick Brown. It didn’t matter that he’s not the type of player whose body type screams “speedster.” Thanks to some ...
Kent State Investigates Kent State For Title IX Violations, Finds None
Kent State’s Office of Compliance, Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action announced on Friday that it found no violation of Title IX, or evidence of any sort of gender bias, from the school when officials shut down a game of field hockey the school was hosting for the football team’s pregame firew...
Either <i>Sports Illustrated</i> Deserved Better Or None Of Us Do
The gutting of Sports Illustrated was pointless, needlessly cruel, stupid and thoroughly corporate. It is what we do now—from an agrarian society to an industrial one to an informational one and now to the strip-it-down-resealable-parts one. Hurray for progress! See you in hell!...
You're Not Going To Remember Any Of This Shit: <i>Joker,</i> Reviewed
“The feeling that the future does not exist, that it is only more of the same, means all utopias are meaningless. Literature has always been relegated to utopia, so when utopia loses meaning, so does literature.”...
You’re Not An Owner
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
He Never Intended To Become A Political Dissident, But Then He Started Beating Up Tai Chi Masters
On a recent Thursday evening in August, a 40-year-old MMA gym owner in Beijing named Xu Xiaodong activated his VPN, hopped over the Chinese government’s internet firewall, and began his first-ever live YouTube broadcast. He wanted to talk about the ongoing protests in Hong Kong, in which hundreds of...
Poor Rays Sideline Reporter Keeps Getting Absolutely Soaked In Celebratory Postgame Alcohol
I suppose this is one of those good problems, but it’s still a problem! Fox Sports Florida sideline reporter Tricia Whitaker keeps getting mercilessly drenched by celebrating Rays players, who seem to view live postgame interviews as opportunities to dump truly gargantuan quantities of beer and cham...
Liberty Hires Disgraced Reporter Who Got Super Racist On Barstool Sports Broadcast
Liberty University, a regular clearinghouse for disgraced idiots, has once again reached into the scrap heap to create a job opportunity for someone who was rightfully booted out of their chosen profession due to a spectacular professional failure. This time it’s via their media apparatus, and the p...
Dad Made The Very Sleepy Chargers Get Out Of Bed And Beat The Dolphins
Okay, so I can’t show you what it would look like if the Miami Dolphins played a college football team. But I can show you what it would look like if the Miami Dolphins played in a college football game, and were the college team....
MLB's Empty Seats Aren't A Problem, They're Part Of The Plan
Major League Baseball saw attendance decline for the fifth straight year, falling to a mere 28,198 fans per game, the lowest mark since 2003. It’s a trend that has already prompted much public hand-wringing from baseball barons and the sportswriters who care about them: MLB commissioner Rob Manfred ...
The A's And Rays Deserve Better Than Fighting For The Right To Be Devoured By The Astros
It is an accepted truth that the Houston Astros are planet-eaters, loaded beyond reason with all the things a baseball team needs to beat its foes stupid. Put another way, manager A.J. Hinch could walk up to either Oakland’s Bob Melvin or Tampa Bay’s Kevin Cash Wednesday afternoon and say, “Tell you...
A Philosopher's Definitive (And Slightly Maddening) Case Against Replay Review
The motivation for using video review in sports is obvious: to get more calls right. This seems like an easy enough mission to fulfill, but anyone who has spent even a little time watching sports on TV can attest to the fact that the application of video review is not so simple. In most sports where...
Vontaze Burfict Is Never Going To Stop Doing This
Well, that one walked down Broadway with a sign around its neck that read in giant red letters, “YOU KNOW HOW THIS ENDS!”...
The Packers' Goal-To-Go Offense Was Too Cute To Work
Packers fans will be specifically frustrated by two themes from Thursday night’s narrow home loss to the Eagles: confusion over the pass interference review process, and Green Bay’s failure to convert on two late drives deep in the red zone, in a seven-point game. No one seems to know what the hell’...
An MLB Playoffs Rooting Guide For Those Who Are Not Fools
Only an idiot looks at the Houston Astros and does not see the best team in baseball, and since we are neck-deep in idiocy these days, those who do not largely confine their predictive allegiances to either the Los Angeles Dodgers or New York Yankees. This makes for both a crowded and tiresome World...
You Cannot Fuck Up Visiting New Orleans
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....