fl Page 289 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You’re Not An Owner
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
He Never Intended To Become A Political Dissident, But Then He Started Beating Up Tai Chi Masters
On a recent Thursday evening in August, a 40-year-old MMA gym owner in Beijing named Xu Xiaodong activated his VPN, hopped over the Chinese government’s internet firewall, and began his first-ever live YouTube broadcast. He wanted to talk about the ongoing protests in Hong Kong, in which hundreds of...
Poor Rays Sideline Reporter Keeps Getting Absolutely Soaked In Celebratory Postgame Alcohol
I suppose this is one of those good problems, but it’s still a problem! Fox Sports Florida sideline reporter Tricia Whitaker keeps getting mercilessly drenched by celebrating Rays players, who seem to view live postgame interviews as opportunities to dump truly gargantuan quantities of beer and cham...
Liberty Hires Disgraced Reporter Who Got Super Racist On Barstool Sports Broadcast
Liberty University, a regular clearinghouse for disgraced idiots, has once again reached into the scrap heap to create a job opportunity for someone who was rightfully booted out of their chosen profession due to a spectacular professional failure. This time it’s via their media apparatus, and the p...
Dad Made The Very Sleepy Chargers Get Out Of Bed And Beat The Dolphins
Okay, so I can’t show you what it would look like if the Miami Dolphins played a college football team. But I can show you what it would look like if the Miami Dolphins played in a college football game, and were the college team....
MLB's Empty Seats Aren't A Problem, They're Part Of The Plan
Major League Baseball saw attendance decline for the fifth straight year, falling to a mere 28,198 fans per game, the lowest mark since 2003. It’s a trend that has already prompted much public hand-wringing from baseball barons and the sportswriters who care about them: MLB commissioner Rob Manfred ...
The A's And Rays Deserve Better Than Fighting For The Right To Be Devoured By The Astros
It is an accepted truth that the Houston Astros are planet-eaters, loaded beyond reason with all the things a baseball team needs to beat its foes stupid. Put another way, manager A.J. Hinch could walk up to either Oakland’s Bob Melvin or Tampa Bay’s Kevin Cash Wednesday afternoon and say, “Tell you...
A Philosopher's Definitive (And Slightly Maddening) Case Against Replay Review
The motivation for using video review in sports is obvious: to get more calls right. This seems like an easy enough mission to fulfill, but anyone who has spent even a little time watching sports on TV can attest to the fact that the application of video review is not so simple. In most sports where...
Vontaze Burfict Is Never Going To Stop Doing This
Well, that one walked down Broadway with a sign around its neck that read in giant red letters, “YOU KNOW HOW THIS ENDS!”...
The Packers' Goal-To-Go Offense Was Too Cute To Work
Packers fans will be specifically frustrated by two themes from Thursday night’s narrow home loss to the Eagles: confusion over the pass interference review process, and Green Bay’s failure to convert on two late drives deep in the red zone, in a seven-point game. No one seems to know what the hell’...
An MLB Playoffs Rooting Guide For Those Who Are Not Fools
Only an idiot looks at the Houston Astros and does not see the best team in baseball, and since we are neck-deep in idiocy these days, those who do not largely confine their predictive allegiances to either the Los Angeles Dodgers or New York Yankees. This makes for both a crowded and tiresome World...
You Cannot Fuck Up Visiting New Orleans
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
We Have A Wet Bag Problem, And We're Going To Look Into It
There is nothing funny about lower-body injuries in baseball. Upper body injuries, sure—a “strained oblique” sounds just vague enough to get an eye-roll, and Mets-scented mystery injuries like the Out With An Entire Left Side Of Body ailment that sidelined prized Mets free agent Jed Lowrie for virtu...
The Greatest Minor League Basketball Player Of All Time Spent A Career Forgetting His Dream
Sitting in front of his locker at the Staples Center that night in January 2007, Renaldo Major hesitated. Earlier that day, the 24-year-old guard had signed a 10-day contract with the Golden State Warriors before promptly making his NBA debut in a road game against the Clippers, scoring five points ...
The Blowhole: Brian Flores Wants To Spoonfeed You Sadness
The most important thing to know about the Miami Dolphins is that their new coach, Brian Flores, treats every game like he will be held criminally liable if anything interesting happens. Dolphins fans, befitting a franchise that hasn’t won a playoff game in 20 years, have extensive experience with c...
NFL Rules Are Just Suggestions
Tom Brady was watching Titans-Jaguars Thursday night and, like every other person with functional eyes, did not enjoy the experience. Only he overcame his revulsion and fear of being found out, tweeting about it and saying all the holding penalties were ruining his fun....
Frog-March This Revolting Gymnastics Robot Directly Into The Fires Of Mount Doom
Here is the most disgusting video I’ve watched on the internet in a long time:...
Of Course The Skins Misspelled London Fletcher's Name During His Ring Of Honor Ceremony
Dan Snyder’s football clown show spent halftime of their Monday night meltdown loss inducting retired linebacker London Fletcher into the Ring of Honor of their miserable, far-flung hell-hole of a stadium. Fletcher spent less than half of his career in Washington and won zero playoff games, but wha...
Cubs Fans Used To Know How To Handle A Choke
This is why the Chicago Cubs should not have been permitted to win the 2016 World Series: Their fans can no longer appreciate the Cubs of the last week....
The Man Who Would Kill Horse Racing
In a garden-variety suburb outside Albany—a recent July morning, but it could have been any morning—Patrick Battuello woke up at five, brewed a cup of coffee, and then sat at his computer to review the previous day’s horse races. He’s done this every day for the last six years. This was a Monday, an...