fl Page 319 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Eagles Suck!
Last week Dom Cosentino and I discussed one simple truth of this NFL season: The Dallas Cowboys were a mess. Naturally, the Cowboys went out and beat up on the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday night....
Soccer Ref Suspended Three Weeks For Using Rock-Paper-Scissors Instead Of Coin Flip
Over in England, the FA has banned referee David McNamara for 21 days on the charge of “not acting in the best interests of the game,” after some unauthorized improvisation when he forgot his coin ahead of an Oct. 26 Reading-Manchester City match in the Women’s Super League. Because he didn’t have a...
Marco Rubio: The Recount Is Like Booting The Helmet Sport Ball Through The Yellow Poles
I’m not going to subject you to this entire embarrassing conspiracy theory-pushing thread posted tonight by bloodless dipshit Marco Rubio—a man who would finish off the podium in a Marco Rubio lookalike contest—but I would like to draw as much attention as possible to the fact that Rubio tried to pa...
Chiefs-Rams Mexico City Game Will Be Moved To Los Angeles Because The Field's Too Crummy
The upcoming Monday night game between the Rams and Chiefs will not be at Estadio Azteca in Mexico City, because the field is crappy and falling apart due to rain, as well as a Shakira concert. The NFL is moving the matchup to Los Angeles:...
Le'Veon Bell Will Sit Out The Season. Now What?
Le’Veon Bell’s 4 p.m. deadline to report to the Steelers came and went, which means Bell cannot play at all during the 2018 season. It also means Bell has forfeited the entirety of the $14.54 million salary he was scheduled to make on the franchise tag, plus a reported $200,000 more in benefits. He...
Ass Team Of The Week: The Buccaneers Were Killed By Their Own Hot, Compressed Farts
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost 16-3 to Washington on Sunday, but just about every number save for the final score says the Bucs were the better team. They out-gained Washington in yards nearly two-to-one—it was 501 to 286 when the final whistle blew—and yards per play (7.5 to 5.2), and had nearly dou...
Yemen Has Been Ruined By War, But Its Soccer Program Is Still Kicking
Nearly every day, news of some fresh tragedy arrives from Yemen, a nation that has been devastated by a brutal conflict between Houthi forces and a Western-backed military coalition led by Saudi Arabia. At some point, the ruination starts to run together. Yemen cholera outbreak kills more than 2,000...
How Gritty Conquered America
While Flyers front office types were throwing around names for the new mascot, team president Paul Holmgren tossed out a suggestion: “Gritty.” Players the Flyers liked were always described that way, and Holmgren thought it’d be a good name for a mascot....
Tom Brady Gets Upstaged As A Receiver By An Opposing Quarterback, Again
Early in the fourth quarter of today’s Patriots-Titans game, New England ran a wide receiver passing play where Julian Edelman threw a six-yard pass to an open Tom Brady. While it wasn’t a repeat of the infamous Super Bowl blunder—Brady actually caught the ball—the New England quarterback showed tha...
Bills' Dion Dawkins Scores Wide-Open Fat Guy Touchdown
The Bills are currently dominating the Jets despite the fact that their fourth starting quarterback of the season, Matt Barkley, had not played a regular season game since Jan. 1, 2017. Buffalo clearly recognized that its opponent wasn’t going to stop anything today, so the oh-so-reliable fat guy to...
Florida's Feleipe Franks Apologizes For Repeatedly Shushing Home Crowd
Florida quarterback Feleipe Franks still held some resentment towards Gators fans after they erupted in applause when backup Kyle Trask came into the game against Missouri last week for the redshirt sophomore. Franks made sure to let his hard feelings known to the home crowd on Saturday not just onc...
Bills Don't Rule Out Yet Another Outbreak Of Nathan Peterman
Nathan Peterman had the best game of his career last Sunday against the Bears. Yes, he threw for three interceptions and no touchdowns as he averaged a horrendous 3.84 yards per attempt on 41 passes, and yes, the Bills lost 41-9, but ... it appears there is no positive point on which to end this se...
Gritty Upstaged The Unveiling Of Yet Another New Philadelphia Mascot
How do you unveil a mascot just a little more than a month after the biggest mascot launch in world history? How do you do it when you’re a smaller team in the same city? Well, you invite all of the city’s mascots and throw a mascot party, of course....
Ultrarunner Courtney Dauwalter Takes On The World's Most Sadistic Endurance Race
Gary Cantrell clanged a bell at 6:40 a.m. on Saturday, Oct. 20, signaling 70 runners to jog off into the woods on his farm in Tennessee. They had an hour to complete a 4.1667-mile loop trail. Easy. Most of the group finished with 15 minutes to spare. The bell clanged again at 7:40 a.m., and they ran...
The Flyers Suffered Through An Absolutely Miserable Powerplay
In the second period of a 2-2 tie game against the Flyers, Arizona Coyotes forward Vinnie Hinostroza got a two-minute minor for tripping and took a trip to the penalty box. It became the best thing that’s happened to his team all night....
The Deadcast Went To Nashville, Ate A Lot, And Invented A Hideous Milkshake
The votes are counted, the headaches have dissipated, Drew’s GI tract is back in acceptable working order after a frontal assault by a smallish bite of Bolton’s hot chicken, and the verdict is in: Nashville, Tennessee is a pretty cool place to spend like 36 hours. It would probably be even more fun ...
I Forgot How Much It Rules To Watch Football At A Bar
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
The WNBA Players Union Is Headed Towards Labor War, But Its Leader Is Nowhere To Be Found<em></em>
Back in July, at the WNBA All-Star weekend in Minneapolis, a league official sidled up to me and asked me a question. Did I know how much money the WNBA had lost last season?...
The Dallas Cowboys Are Still A Mess
The Dallas Cowboys added wide receiver Amari Cooper in a trade with the Oakland Raiders during their bye week. It helped! Cooper was the Cowboys’ leading receiver, catching 5 passes for 58 yards and a score on Monday night. It didn’t help the Cowboys win, of course: They lost at home to the Tennesse...
Le'Veon Bell Has Reached The "Sending Fake-Deep Tweets" Stage Of His Holdout
Because James Conner is good and the Steelers are 5-2, everyone seems to have decided that Le’Veon Bell’s extended holdout was a bad idea. This new consensus may be wearing on Bell, based on these two weird tweets he sent yesterday:...