fl Page 365 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
South Carolina Governor Desperately Wants To Find A Way To Fuck The National Anthem
If you’re in South Carolina on Super Bowl Sunday and you hear the national anthem start, stand up and yell every last word, or else the patriotism police will take you to the office of Governor Henry McMaster for a spanking. Today McMaster issued a proclamation, which means nothing, that everyone in...
Roger Goodell Assures Everyone Washington Football Team Will Remain Racist Despite Chief Wahoo Removal
After the Cleveland Indians announced that they’ll be taking Chief Wahoo off of team uniforms by 2019, the Washington NFL team naturally drew scrutiny. Would they follow suit and ditch their comically racist name for something more palatable, or at least scrub their logo for something more neutral?...
Philly Cops Won’t Grease Poles For The Super Bowl Because It Didn’t Work Anyway
If the Eagles do the unthinkable and actually win the Super Bowl, Philadelphians will rush out onto the streets in celebration. If they want to climb some light poles to celebrate, they will be able to do so unencumbered: Philadelphia Police Commissioner Richard Ross announced today that the city wo...
Report: Eric Wood's Retirement Delayed Due To Bonus Money Dispute
Buffalo Bills center Eric Wood, who was diagnosed with a career-ending neck injury in his season-ending physical, gave a weird press conference this afternoon in which, instead of announcing his retirement as expected, he showed up nearly an hour late and gave just a two-minute statement without ans...
Titus Young Writes About Hearing Voices, Living With Bipolar Disorder In Prison Diary
Former NFL and Boise State wide receiver Titus Young, a second-round pick who had his career cut short by clashes with coaches and teammates, is currently serving a sentence of four years in a Los Angeles prison for an assault on his neighbor. That assault is the culmination of a series of legal and...
The New XFL Should Have An <i>Ooonnnkkk</i> Horn, And Other New Football Rule Ideas
Last week, Vince McMahon announced the return of the XFL. Considering the quality of the original XFL and the track record of Vince McMahon’s non-wrestling ventures, there’s reason to wonder if this thing will ever happen....
Baby Will Definitely Grow Up To Be Hoagie-Loving Adult
Philadelphia is already out of control with Super Bowl fever, and this baby is no exception. This kid has likely heard the word “Eagles” 10 million times over the last few weeks, so why wouldn’t his first word be “Eagles”? The only thing that’s surprising is that he didn’t say “Go Birds.”...
Joe McKnight's Killer Found Guilty Of Manslaughter
A Jefferson Parish, La. jury deliberated for seven hours before finding Ronald Gasser guilty of manslaughter in the 2016 slaying of former NFL player Joe McKnight....
Bills Center Eric Wood Diagnosed With Career-Ending Neck Injury
Former Pro Bowler and longtime Bills offensive lineman Eric Wood announced this morning that he’s been diagnosed with a neck injury that will end his career. Adam Schefter didn’t shed much light on it, but apparently standard football wear and tear is at least a factor....
XFL's "Criminality" Ban, Implied Anti-Protest Rule Are Definitely Not About Race, No Sir
The one thing we know for sure after Vince McMahon announced in a conference call on Thursday that he will relaunch the XFL is that McMahon himself is still cagey. It’s tough to say we know much about the league, beyond McMahon’s promise that it’s coming in two years; we’re still in the stage of dev...
Richie Incognito And Yannick Ngakoue Are All Good Now, According To Richie Incognito
Jaguars defensive end Yannick Ngakoue said Bills offensive lineman Richie Incognito used racist slurs towards him in the two teams’ playoff game, but the two players have settled their differences—according to the guy who supposedly said the racist slurs....
The New XFL Is Dumb As Hell But Thank God It's Not Actually Real
C’mon. C’mon. This is not ever actually going to happen. You know it isn’t!...
NFL Answers Sexual Harassment Lawsuit With Victim Blaming<em></em>
The NFL has filed their formal response to Jami Cantor’s harassment lawsuit, which alleged that Marshall Faulk, Ike Taylor, Heath Evans, and other prominent NFL Network employees sexually harassed her when she was working for the network. They did not confirm a single count in Cantor’s original laws...
Floyd Mayweather Sr. Turns Himself In After Being Charged With Battery For Punching Woman
Floyd Mayweather Sr. was charged with battery last week for an incident that took place after the Canelo Alvarez-Gennady Golovkin fight on Sept. 17, 2017, according to Clark County court records. An arrest warrant was issued on Jan. 16; he turned himself in today and pleaded not guilty. ...
The New XFL Sounds Nothing Like The Old One
The XFL returned today with a rap. Really....
Here Are Your Absolute Best (Worst?) Poop Stories
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
The 1987 NFL Players Strike Created The Modern NFL
The darkest day in NFL history began with several Philadelphia Eagles players arriving at Veterans Stadium at midnight, some 13 hours before the scheduled kickoff of a game against the Chicago Bears. They weren’t there to play; they were there precisely not to play. More specifically, they were ther...
My Idiot State Senator Is Campaigning On Coke Dogs
Last week I received a campaign flyer from Florida state senator Dana Young, urging me to sign a petition banning coke dogs. It is one of the stupidest things I have ever seen....
NFL Ref Carl Johnson's Domestic-Violence Accuser Has Now Been Charged
In September, TMZ reported that Carl Johnson, an NFL line judge and the league’s former top ref, was under investigation for domestic violence in Louisiana. Johnson had been the NFL’s VP of officiating from 2010 to 2012, and since then had returned to the field. The investigation was due to a reques...
Eagles’ Fletcher Cox: I’ve Never Watched The Super Bowl (But He Has Tweeted About It)
One Eagles player will be seeing the Super Bowl for the first time on February 4. Not just seeing it in person. Seeing it for the first time entirely. According to him, at least....