fl Page 566 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Browns Are Such A Godforsaken Mess
Dwayne Bowe is a “healthy inactive” for Raiders-Browns this afternoon, meaning there isn’t really anything wrong with Bowe, beyond his fundamental inability to play football well, but the Browns are sitting him anyway. This is only one of several stupid moving parts in the stupid fakakta machine tha...
A "Lifelong" Commitment, If Only Technically: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
So, the 2015 NFL Health and Safety Report opens with a message from Roger Goodell, in which the thumb-puppet-looking doofus proudly mentions the lifelong commitment the NFL makes to its players, specifically free comprehensive health and wellness screening made available to former players....
The NFL Wants Players To Help Pay For New Los Angeles Stadium
The NFL is coming to Los Angeles soon, no matter what Oaklanders, St. Louisans, San Diegans, or local labor groups have to say about it. The sheer amount of money behind the proposed moves of one or all of the Rams, Chargers, or Raiders, coupled with the NFL’s desire to break into the country’s #2 m...
The Mailman Has A Cooler Phone Than You
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Sean Payton Says Drew Brees Won't Play This Sunday
Saints quarterback Drew Brees messed up his shoulder after being hit in last Sunday’s game, and wasn’t immediately ruled out for this week, but it turns out his recovery wasn’t quick enough. Head coach Sean Payton said today that he’ll keep Brees out of this Sunday’s game against the Panthers....
<i>Elite Squad: The Enemy Within</i> Is The Next Stop For <i>Narcos</i> Fiends
There’s a very good chance you’ve spent some time in the past few week binging on Narcos, the new Netflix show about the unlikely career of one Pablo Escobar. It’s a great show, one that goes as wide as possible in considering all the effects of the U.S.’s war on drugs and its appetite for them. May...
Peyton Manning Is A Rickety Old Man
You knew that already, just from watching his throws float and flutter and seeing it take him nearly the whole of the play clock to pick himself up off the turf. But here’s the lede on ESPN The Magazine’s Peyton Manning feature. Try to read it without wincing:...
Is Playing Quarterback Too Hard?
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Aaron Rodgers Is So Freaking Good
The only thing more enjoyable than bad quarterbacking is the best quarterbacking, and there is no one on earth better at it than Aaron Rodgers. So I think we’d all be OK with a weekly look at the latest ungodly difficult throw that Rodgers made look easy. (I think about this strike, against the Viki...
The Raiders Are Less Metal Than We Thought, Will Paint Gold Marks On Field
Dammit, Chris! You lied to us Chris!...
The Smart Steelers Are Going To Continue Going For Two
After each of their first two touchdowns in Sunday’s beatdown of the 49ers, the Pittsburgh Steelers went for two. They converted both times, and are now 3-3 on the season. According to Ben Roethlisberger, they’re going to keep on going for two. Via ESPN:...
Washington Football Fan Group Stars In World's Saddest Vine
I’m not sure what’s going on with Washington’s social media manager today, but there’s a good chance he or she woke up and said something along the lines of, “I’d really like to make the saddest Vine in the history of the internet today.”...
Browns Send Johnny Manziel Back To The Bench, For Some Reason
The Browns coaches must fucking despise Johnny Manziel. ...
Report: Kam Chancellor's Coming To Save The Seahawks
The Seattle Seahawks are 0-2, and a big reason why has been the absence of their all-world safety, Kam Chancellor, who has been holding out for a better contract. Well, according to ESPN’s Adam Schefter (by way of Stephen A. Smith), Chancellor has given up on his holdout and is headed back to Seattl...
Raiders Give Middle Finger To The NFL, Refuse To Put Gold Marks On Field
As part of the celebrations for the 50th Super Bowl later this season, every NFL field has the ‘50’ painted gold, like the above photo from the Steelers’ stadium. Every NFL team, that is, except for the Raiders, who played on a field absent of gold in Weeks 1 and 2. ...
Try Not To Laugh At Jerry Jones's Evaluation Of Brandon Weeden
The Cowboys are in as bad a shape as any 2-0 team can be. Tony Romo will miss most of the season with a broken clavicle, and Dez Bryant’s busted foot will keep him on the shelf for God knows how long. Backup quarterback Brandon Weeden will lead the team against Atlanta next week, a fact Jerry Jones ...
Ragnar Is Holding Out For $20,000 A Game
Fans noticed a distinct lack of of Ragnar, the biker viking mascot, at Minnesota’s first home game this weekend. That led the Vikings to issue a statement yesterday confirming that Ragnar, absent for the first time since 1993, isn’t there because the team can’t agree with him on how much loot and pl...
The Jets Defense Is Ferocious
One third-quarter sequence perfectly exemplified the Jets’ 20-7 victory over the Colts Monday night: their defense is damn good, but they’re getting a bit of luck too. ...