fl Page 696 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
John Harbaugh Sees Ray Rice's Suspension As A Good Lesson For Kids
Ravens head coach John Harbaugh fielded some questions about Ray Rice during his press conference at preseason camp today, and he decided to invoke "the children," for some reason....
This Was The Line To Buy Vikings Tickets
This photo, from CBS Minnesota, shows the entirety of the line to buy single-game Vikings tickets for much of Tuesday morning, when they went on sale. ...
NFL Statement On Ray Rice Wants You To Believe It Came Down Hard On Him
Here's the full NFL statement confirming the two-game suspension and fine of an additional game check for Ray Rice, for knocking his then-fiancée unconscious in a casino elevator. It is fucking ballsy. ...
Naked Burger Thieves On The Lam In Florida Beach Town
Listen. Sometimes it's 3:06 in the morning, you and a couple of your buddies are wandering around a beach town in various states of undress, and suddenly you have need of 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, and, uh, a paddleboard. Immediately! And the grocery stores are cl...
Ladies, Buy Your Pink Ray Rice Jerseys Today!
Hey, ladies: get ready for the upcoming NFL season with your special Ray Rice jerseys, still in stock on NFL.com. Act fast, though; these won't be around for long!...
NFL Network On Ray Rice Suspension: "The Iron Fist Of The NFL"
Nearly every sane sports fan is offended by the leniency of Ray Rice's two-game NFL suspension for domestic abuse, but don't let anyone at NFL Network know that. They described the suspension today as "dealing with the iron fist of the NFL."...
Reports: Ray Rice Suspended Two Games For Knocking Out Fiancée
As first reported by Yahoo's Rand Getlin, and just now by multiple other reporters, Ravens RB Ray Rice will be suspended by the NFL for the first two games of the season for beating the shit out of his then-fiancée....
Jay Cutler Drove To Camp In A Big-Ass Van, Is Still The Best
Jay Cutler showed up to Bears training camp today driving the vehicle you see above, what Jay calls a conversion van. Cutler made it very clear that this was not a mini-van, probably because he has spawned a whole brood of mini-Cutlers and a mini-van seems like a pretty sensible option for a dad...
Tony Dungy Still Isn't Sure What The Problem Is
Tony Dungy tried again today to explain his Michael Sam comments, this time on the The Dan Patrick Show, and it somehow became all about Jonathan Martin. ...
Fred Davis Allegedly Criticizes Woman's Ass, Throws Dirt At Her
Former Skins tight end Fred Davis had a horrible February, but his year seems to be getting worse. A woman filed a complaint saying that on June 2, Davis harassed her while she was out with a friend at a diner. D.C. police now have a warrant out for him....
Bills WR Sammy Watkins Trips, Recovers, Makes Terrific One-Handed Catch
There aren't many interesting happenings in the training camp period of the NFL season, but Sammy Watkins's catch in practice today is a nice little highlight....
Audubon Society Calls New Vikings Stadium "A Death Trap" For Birds
One of the more distinguishing features of the new Vikings stadium, set to open in 2016, is the huge glass exterior. But birds, who are stupid, would not call that a selling point. They would call it a dying point....
Kid At Dwyane Wade's Basketball Camp Demands To Know Why He Flops
If only there was video of the kid actually asking Dwyane Wade why he flops. That would be beautiful. Wade's explanation of the story is a decent consolation prize....
Crowd-Funded Brewery Campaigns Are Bullshit
Crowd-funding is a great hustle. Remember a couple weeks ago when some dude threatened not to make potato salad unless we bought him a solid-gold pony with diamonds for eyes, and we actually went for it? Of course, many professional bloviators saw this as the exact moment when society’s collecti...
Broncos Owner, Beset By Alzheimer's, Gives Up Control
Broncos majority owner Pat Bowlen will stand aside from running the team, the Broncos announced today, publicly acknowledging what most have known for a while: he is deep into the serious stages of Alzheimer's disease....
Seahawks Mascot Stutter-Steps, 49ers Fan Falls Like A Sack Of Potatoes
The bounce. The bounce is what makes this particularly humiliating for the San Francisco fan and absolutely wonderful for the rest of us. That it comes as he tries to adjust his pants while a furry mascot crosses him up is but a delicious, added bonus. ...
This Is A Browns Fan Pissing On Art Modell's Grave
How do you turn Art Modell into a sympathetic figure? You don an Ed Reed Ravens jersey (to fool people who might find a dude in a Browns jersey visiting Art Modell's grave suspicious, natch), hold your pee for a while, get yourself a catheter, and then dramatically reveal your hidden Lyle Alzado jer...
Michael Sam On Dungy: "Thank God He Wasn't The St. Louis Rams Coach"
Maybe Tony Dungy really should rethink whether he would draft a guy like Michael Sam because, for a player dealing with his first NFL training camp controversy, Sam responded to Dungy's I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin' homophobia pretty perfectly. He was funny, mildly self-deprecating, and even said ...
Jets Fans Can Earn Rewards Points For Not Being Assholes
The Jets have announced a new rewards program for its season-ticket holders, in which they can win things like Super Bowl tickets and a ride on the team's charter flight. All it'll take to accrue points is to show up, and not to be ejected from MetLife Stadium for being a drunken, belligerent mess. ...
The Top 200 Ways Bleacher Report Screwed Me Over
A month before I turned 21, I returned home from the Bay Area, where I was attending college, to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family in Minnesota. On a Tuesday evening, I was sitting in the living room, about to head upstairs to go to bed, when my phone buzzed with a text from Dave Finocchio, fo...