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Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe For Roast Beef
1 Large Roast of Beef...
How To Make Home Fries, The Breakfast Of Sluggards
The basic idea is that breakfast is supposed to supply your wretched, dead-eyed carcass with enough chemical energy to work itself up into a state vaguely similar to the authentic vitality of the functional, well-adjusted people edging away from you in half-concealed disgust on the bus. This is why...
That Is One Mighty Looking Sandwich
Here's a Foodspin reader offering up this monstrosity as a notable foodstuff of the state of New Jersey. It goes by the name "Sloppy Joe," although I think most people will find that it has precious little in common with the disreputable but delicious brick-colored-beef-slop-on-a-bun usually associ...
How To Make Beef Stroganoff, Which, Hey, Remember Beef Stroganoff?
Remember Beef Stroganoff? That gray mushroomy stuff your adult caregiver made a few times back when you were a kid, and then it vanished off the face of the earth, and then you completely forgot it existed, and now you're going, "Oh, yeah—Stroganoff! Whatever happened to that stuff?"...
The $70 Pub Cheese, Which Costs <em>70 Freaking Dollars</em>
From time to time we come across a highfalutin recipe with an ingredients list that strikes us as a hair on the costly side. And when we do, we're gonna run those ingredients through the checkout aisle at Whole Foods on the Bowery to see how it adds up....
Guy Fieri Flips Out On His Hairdresser, Which Makes Good Sense
Presumably in the immediate aftermath of his first visit to an optometrist in more than a decade, anthropomorphized Lime-A-Rita Guy Fieri and his hairdresser had a bit of a tiff in broad public view, leading to crying and shouting and embarrassment, not unlike what happens when you spend more than t...
The Main Ingredient: How 'Bout Dem Apples?
Apple season is here....
Screw Your Pumpkin Flavors: How To Make Apple Crumble
Fun fact! Careful examination of the historical record reveals that, whatever the goddamn Starbucks menu may suggest to the contrary, the consumption of non-pumpkin-flavored foodstuffs between Sept. 15 and Dec. 20 is not a capital crime. Whether the consumption of non-pumpkin-flavored foodstuffs i...
Ted Cruz Hates Avocados, Is Incapable Of Non-Stupid Opinions
I mean ho-leeeeee shit. This is at least—at least!—2.7 times worse than the time he orchestrated the shutdown of the federal government for no goddamn reason....
Which Lazy-Ass NFL Fans Order The Most Food Online During Games?
Watching Sunday football is already sweetly lazy, but to take the laziness to the next level you really have to order greasy delivery, and you have to order it online....
The Main Ingredient
Bucatini All’Amatriciana is my go-to meal, a signature dish in Rome (or just outside of Rome). It’s simple: bacon (or, in Rome, Guanciale), onions, hot pepper flakes, olive oil and tomatoes. Served with bucatini, the long pasta with a hole in the middle....
My Americone Dream Had A Goddamn Hair In It
Sorry for making fun of your maple syrup, assholes....
The Great American Menu: Foods Of The States, Ranked And Mapped
What are the United States' best regional foodstuffs? Its worst? These are the questions that bedevil the mind of man—but no longer! For here, we have ranked them. Rigorously scientific (not), ardently researched (nope), and scrupulously fair (not even a little bit): this is the Great American Menu!...
How To Make Mashed Cauliflower, Because It Goddamn Tastes Great
The first thing to do is clear up any misconceptions that the reason to make mashed cauliflower, and not mashed potatoes, is that mashed cauliflower is the more calorically or nutritionally upstanding choice. If that is what you are thinking, stop thinking that, because that is stupid. You're stup...
The Main Ingredient: Marcella
Last week, a post about the bluesman Furry Lewis, included this:...
How To Make A Lasagna And Prepare For Hibernation
Time was, as summer rounded into autumn, you kept an eye out for that first cool, dry weekend after the leaves started to turn, when the air remained genuinely chilly in the shade all day long, and then you tilted back your floppy coppola hat, hooked your thumbs into your suspenders, gazed thoughtfu...
What The Hell Do I Cook For My Tailgate?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wit...