football Page 215 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
In These Dangerous Times, It's Important To Remember That The Jets Are Crud
When you are fleeing your home, and perhaps your state, and perhaps your former life, as a historic hurricane bears down on you, it’s a good idea that you take a few moments to remember what’s really important in this lifetime: that the Jets are a bunch of junk:...
Rams All-Pro Tackle Aaron Donald Abruptly Ends His Holdout
Adam Schefter is reporting that Aaron Donald, two-time All-Pro defensive tackle for the Los Angeles Rams and arguably the single best player in the NFL, will reportedly end his holdout and return to the Rams, where he will continue to be wildly underpaid on his rookie scale contract in a league wher...
Alex Smith Smoked The Patriots By Going Back To College
Alex Smith torched the Patriots Thursday night, and his final stat line was very un-Alex Smith-like: 28-for-35, 368 passing yards, four touchdowns, no interceptions, a 148.6 passer rating. Head coach Andy Reid’s and offensive coordinator Matt Nagy’s creative play design and blend of West Coast and s...
Okay, Seriously, What's Going On With Antonio Cromartie's Penis?
Free-agent cornerback Antonio Cromartie’s wife, Terricka, recently gave birth to the couple’s sixth child. This is the 14th child that Cromartie has fathered, and the third that has been born after he had a vasectomy....
NFL Suspends Josh Brown Six More Games, For Some Reason
The NFL’s initial investigation into allegations of domestic violence against former Giants kicker Josh Brown, which resulted in a one-game suspension, accomplished nothing. Even less is accomplished by the fact that the NFL has reportedly decided to suspend Brown for an additional six games....
Hello, Kareem Hunt
The Patriots got shoved into a trash compactor last night, and watching it felt wonderful. Alex Smith’s passable and shocking Aaron Rodgers impression may have been the most impressive part of the Chiefs’ performance, but the part that was the most fun to watch was rookie running back Kareem Hunt ma...
Patriots Eat Shit In Front Of God And Everyone
At the end of the third quarter tonight, the Patriots led the Chiefs by a score of 27-21. They proceeded to roll over and die. They gave up 21 points in the fourth, letting Kansas City run away with a 42-27 victory for the worst beating New England’s endured in recent memory....
With The First Nutshot Of The Season, Football Truly Has Arrived
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Show Us Your Fantasy Football Team
The NFL season kicks off tonight, and with the return of real football comes the start of the fantasy football season. So show us what you’re working with....
The Churn<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Roger Goodell When Asked About Colin Kaepernick: "I'm Not A Football Expert"
Roger Goodell, commissioner of the National Football League for 11 years as of this week, was asked on FS1's First Things First if he believes Colin Kaepernick should have a place on an NFL roster. ...
What's Going On With The Ezekiel Elliott Case, And What Happens Next?
If you’ve been following the Ezekiel Elliott saga—strap in, as this case has by now crossed the “saga” threshold—you might be a bit confused as to what the flying fuck is going on....
NFL Concludes Useless Probe Into Whether Tom Brady Had Concussions
In May, supermodel Gisele Bündchen said in an interview that her husband, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, “does have concussions.” This spurred a joint investigation by the NFL and NFLPA, which has unsurprisingly come to the conclusion that Tom Brady is just fine....
The NFL Is Eating Itself
Here’s a good joke that’s becoming more accurate every day:...
Video Shows Michael Bennett Being Cuffed By Las Vegas Police<em></em>
Seahawks defensive end Michael Bennett posted today about a Las Vegas police officer pinning him down on the ground and threatening to “blow [his] fucking head off” during the weekend of the Mayweather-McGregor fight....
Michael Bennett: Las Vegas Police Threatened To "Blow My Fucking Head Off"
Seahawks defensive end Michael Bennett posted on Twitter today a story in which he says he was profiled and violently harassed by police in Las Vegas, Nevada, while in town for the Mayweather-McGregor fight. ...
Ravens Send Ray Lewis Out To Make Kaepernick's Girlfriend The Scapegoat For Him Not Having NFL Job
Ray Lewis’s new role as an Inside The NFL analyst on Showtime saw the former Ravens linebacker immediately inserting himself into the story as he unraveled a bizarre and preposterous story that blamed a tweet by Colin Kaepernick’s girlfriend, Nessa Diab, for the former 49ers quarterback still being ...
Ezekiel Elliott Will Play Sunday, Even Though His Six-Game Suspension Was Upheld
NFL appeals officer Harold Henderson has decided to uphold Ezekiel Elliott’s six-game suspension for violating the NFL’s personal conduct policy, according to multiple reports....
The NFL Is Investigating Michael Irvin's Sexual Assault Case
As the football world awaits a decision from arbitrator Harold Henderson on Ezekiel Elliott’s appeal of his suspension, Deadspin has learned the league is also investigating Hall of Famer Michael Irvin under its personal conduct policy in the wake of an alleged sexual assault allegation that resulte...
Cam Newton And Von Miller: Colin Kaepernick Should Be On An NFL Roster
The NFL is back this weekend, bringing with it the highest concentration of takes from media members and star players since February. Inevitably, a bunch of them are about whether or not Colin Kaepernick deserves to be on an NFL roster....