football Page 726 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Northwestern Steals Michigan Signs; Ball Boys to the Rescue
Way back in 1997, student managers brought it to Lloyd Carr's attention that those witty rascals at Northwestern were stealing signals from the Michigan offense. Well, okay, maybe not so much stealing signals as noticing what a single player was doing. Perhaps this explains the memorable Northwester...
College Football Opening Night Conspires to Sink Obama
Proving that no angle can be left unexamined when it comes to politics, Thursday night football games are now the Democrat’s enemy at their National Convention. Because Obama’s convention speech is the same night as the opening of college football season. Uh-oh, a Democratic scheduler was just decap...
Where Do NFL Starters Go To College?
And by "go to college" I mean commit felonies. Well, Mike Detellier has broken down NFL starters by their college conference. And while there is no big surprise, the SEC leads with 137 projected starters, there are some really surprising positional breakdowns. Coming in second after the SEC? Shockin...
Ron Jaworski: Yes, I Know I Look Like An Old Lesbian
Former Philadelphia Eagles' quarterback and current Monday Night Football analyst, Ron Jaworski, is well aware that he's not winning any "Most Masculine Bifocals" awards anytime soon. In fact, he promises that the specs he'll don this year won't have so many people confusing him with Sally Jesse Ra...
Behold The Money Saving Power of The Patch
However you feel about the Arena Football League being shoved down our throat in that oh-so conflict of interest-y way by ESPN, its most popular team has a pretty cool promotion going on. All citizens living in Morrisville, the hometown of Philadelphia Soul receiver Chris Jackson, are offered free ...
The Fantasy Impact Of Steven Jackson's Cleansed Colon
During yesterday's story about Rams running back Steven Jackson and his messy colon cleanse, I questioned the potential fantasy football impact such a procedure would have on the top five running back. Thankfully, some of the wise men from Yahoo!'s Fantasy Football think tank decided it was worthy ...
Drew Brees Will Take You Deep
Just to prove how random God's sense of humor really is, Ken Oberkfell's last official act as manager of the New Orleans Zephyrs on Monday was to throw batting practice to Saints' quarterbacks Drew Brees and Mark Brunell. Oberkfell, who has managed the Class AAA Pacific Coast League team for five se...
You, Too, Could Kick In The Arena League
Who says the Arena Football League isn't fan-friendly? Before the Chicago Rush's game this weekend, kicker Paul Edinger — so THAT'S where he is! — tweaked his groin, which is never good. The Rush had no extra kickers ... so they held an open call for fans....
Never Too Early To Think About College Football
It's just hot enough in New York City right now to get us thinking about college football, and The Grand National Championships is right there with us. They've decided to come up with a compelling reason to cheer for every Division I-A team. (And yes: We still call it "Division I-A." Sue us.)...
Tony Kornheiser Questions His Own Commitment To Monday Night Football
Tony Kornheiser, the PTI maestro and everyman reporting genius, offered some extremely candid criticism of himself as a member of the Monday Night Football Crew....
Duke Helps Ladies' Buttocks Feel More Comfortable
Because it's Thursday, and no Thursday is complete without some toilet humor, let's take a look at the great work done for women at the Duke football stadium....
Kansas City Gripped By Quincy Carter Fever
He's not exactly back in the NFL, but the Kansas City Brigade of the Arena Football League is a start. And believe it or not, that's a step up for the former Dallas Cowboys quartertback Quincy Carter, who was last seen playing for the Bossier-Shreveport BattleWings of the af2. After joining the Brig...
Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?
We remember when a friend of ours, in high school, gave us advice, handed down to him by his grandfather, on how to buy condoms. "The trick," he said, "is not to try to slip them in with other purchases, or anything like that. Sorry, man: You just have to steal them." We didn't take that tactic, but...
Jamar Hornsby's One Classy Gator
Here's a disturbing story from the murky swamps of Gainesville. Jamar Hornsby, a 21-year-old safety for the Florida Gators, has turned himself in to authorities after illegal use of a credit card. Unlike most other slimy college athletes guilty of credit card fraud, Hornsby's single-handedly guarant...
Anti-Meth Ads, Sports Style
So you know those terrifying Montana anti-meth ads that were recently taken off the air?. Well, in an inspired bit of dark whimsy, The Great Barstoolio had put together a sports compendium of the ads....
Tim Tebow Has A Steady Hand, We Hope
Florida quarterback Tim Tebow is an amazing, versatile quarterback, able to chuck a pass 50 yards, turn the corner and a linebacker and plow over undersized defensive lineman. He's a Renaissance Man, a do-gooder, a man of America. His skills run deep. How deep? Trust us, you don't want to know....
Step Right Up To Get Your Own Bowl Game
A brilliant discovery by Every Day Should Be Saturday has our minds a-racin'. It turns out that St. Petersberg is getting a bowl game but doesn't have a sponsor yet. Hmm....
Rich Rodriguez Era Off To A Rousing Start
Former University of Michigan offensive lineman Justin Boren is now officially an Ohio State Buckeye, a development which has caused much gnashing of teeth around college football. This is the first time ever that a Wolverines player has gone over to play for their most hated rival, which should rai...
Erin Andrews' Calves Await Your Scrutiny
This candid photo of ESPN college sports vixen Erin Andrews attempting to gain the attention of a well-Under Armoured Tim Tebow suggests that the popular NCAA reporter princess is working very, very hard to get a salient quote from the Florida quarterback during the Gators annual spring game....
40 Acres And A Mountaineer
University of Michigan football coach Rich Rodriguez is still in a messy legal battle with his former team, West Virginia University, about his old contract and the upcoming trial could possibly get ugly. The issue? The legality of the $4 million buyout Rodriguez's team of hard-nosed attorneys alleg...