football Page 743 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Les Miles Needs To Work On His Sarcastic Rants
If you're going to start ripping people, Les Miles, go all the way. That way Every Day Should Be Saturday wouldn't have to step in and pick up the slack with some writer's embellishment, turning what was some mildly interesting radio content into something truly memorable. The LSU football coach was...
About Last Night...
• Arena Football. Philadelphia Soul 41, Orlando Predators 26. Until Arena Football hires Don Cheadle to do AFL Playoffs commercials, no one's going to care. • MLB. Mets 6, Phillies 5. And then Mets 5, Phillies 2. Billy Wagner finished both games. He's due a good week of rest. • WNBA. Washington Myst...
He Wasn't A Paid Drug Dealer; He Was Just Volunteering
We like Florida head coach Urban Meyer for many reasons, not least of which is the fact that his first name describes a type of city. (We hope to someday name our child "Rural Juror Leitch.") But the reason we really love him is that EDSBS figures he believes if you kick a player off your team for s...
Chip And Dale Don't Like Your Looks And Would Prefer That You Leave
Once the vibrant and thriving center of the city, Downtown Disney has fallen on hard times. Crime is rampant, property values have plummeted and the area is ripe with decay. Witness Minnie Mouse, turning tricks at the seedy Disney Inn. Goofy has been arrested 17 times for aggressive panhandling. And...
The Exact Human Opposite Of Jim Nantz
Ron Jaworski? Please. This is your new MNF foil for Kornheiser....
Cop Attacked, Bitten By Dolphin
I had never heard of Dolphins defensive tackle Fred Evans, but when a man tastes the Taser gun twice, and still manages to bite a cop ... well, that grabs your attention. From The Ledger, in Lakeland, Florida:...
About Last Night...
• Arena Football. Columbus Destroyers 74, NY Dragons 43. And the 7-9 Destroyers clinch a playoff spot. Parity reigns in the Arena League. • MLB. Seattle 9, Cincinnati 1. Never a good sign when you give up a grand slam in the first inning, is it, Kyle Lohse... • WNBA. San Antonio Silver Stars 71, Con...
Dicky Lyons Is One Dope Dude
Dicky Lyons is a wide receiver for the Kentucky Wildcats, and despite his seemingly less-than-chiseled-athlete physique, he's one of their better players. And he also seems like as amiable a doofus as you could possibly meet....
Mike And Mike Are Everywhere You Look
All told, we think we gave Mike and Mike too hard of a time on the whole spelling bee thing. They weren't so bad; maybe they toned down the schtick for ABC. Anyway, as part of ESPN's plan to have Mike Greenberg (the gay one) and Mike Golic (the fat one) broadcasting every event that Berman and Tiric...
Malcolm In The Middle Front Row
The Los Angeles Times has a nifty collection of celebrity photos taken at sporting events on their site today, which got us to thinking: Which LA team had the best celebrity sightings in the fall/winter seasons? One might automatically say the Lakers win this, but not so fast. Let's do a quick tally...
R.I.P., Terry Hoeppner
Indiana football coach Terry Hoeppner, who had been recovering from surgery for a brain tumor, died this morning at a Bloomington area hospital. The Hoosiers had announced just last week that Hoeppner would not be able to coach this year; assistant Bill Lynch will coach in his place. Hoeppner was 59...
To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, TNT. Movie. Remember the Titans. If you want to play football on this team, you will answer me when I ask you who's your daddy. Who's your daddy, Gary? Who's your daddy? • 7:00, ESPN. College Baseball. NCAA World Series, Game 4: Cal State Fullerton vs. Oregon State. The Beavers are going to ...
What, Like House Of Pain Was Gonna Do Anything?
Seems like there are a lot of scuffles outside of nightclubs these days. And more and more, it seems like these scuffles are accompanied by someone pulling out a gun and shooting it into the air ... because nothing defuses a situation better than spontaneous gunfire....
A Requiem For Bad Moon's Money
For months now, we've been trying to figure out why, during our exhibition football game against Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart, Rison felt obliged to hug us. We felt we had competed hard, but not quite worthy of a hug. We thought maybe Andre was just lonely. Maybe he missed Left Eye?...
The Entry Ramps To The Stadium Will Be Full Of Sleeping People
It is important that, in life, one have humanitarian instincts. But it is far more important that one has a place to show and pick up stimulants at 3:30 in the morning. Yep: There's a bowl game named after a truck stop. It's the Roady's Humanitarian Bowl. ...
They Grow Up So Fast These Days
Meet Malcolm Sheppard, defensive tackle for the Arkansas Razorbacks. According to Loser with Socks, that's Malcolm one year ago, and Malcolm today....
That's One Way To Sell A Condo
We don't know Alabama well enough to understand the real estate market, but it's little surprise that one of the main selling points in Tuscaloosa is proximity to Bryant-Denny Stadium, home of the Crimson Tide. And it turns out that a condominium company is using a peculiar strategy to sell their ho...
JoePa Will Put Your Ass To Work
We love Joe Paterno. Whereas many coaches would discipline their players for a campus fight by suspending them or — more likely — not doing anything at all, the Penn State legend is forcing them to clean the inside of the stadium....
Someone In Oklahoma Is Sad
The great folks at Post Secret — via Burnt Orange Nation — have dug up this little mailing, which features a sad, scorned lover of an Oklahoma football player lamenting the need for their union to remain a secret. Oklahoma last won a national championship in 2000, which theoretically narrows it down...
Quincy Carter Struggling With His af2 Responsibilities
Because being employed by the Bossier-Shreveport Battle Wings wasn't enough to hammer convince Quincy Carter that he needs to pull it together, the Battle Wings have suspended him two games for missing team meetings....