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Stanford Band Accuses University Of Sanitizing Them To Protect School's "Well-Manicured Image"
The Stanford Band was recently suspended until the spring of 2017. They’ll now miss most of the basketball season, but it could have been much worse, as a university conduct board recommended that they be suspended for the whole year....

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Stanford Band Suspended For New Policy Violations, Breaking Rules From Old Policy Violations
A year and a half after Stanford’s marching band was found responsible for a “sexual hazing” scandal, a new investigation by the university’s conduct board has discovered that the group has continued to break school alcohol policy—along with ignoring the terms of their original punishment. Though th...

Never Forget That Every Financial Forecast Is 100 Percent Worthless
Hey, how are the markets looking? How about them markets? Where do you think the markets will be going in the coming year? Let’s turn to the highly paid professionals, shall we?...

Oregon To Investigate Athletic Department For Response To Reports Of Violence By Football Player Pharaoh Brown
The University of Oregon’s president has called for an investigation of “free-speech policy violations” by the school’s athletic department—two weeks after department officials threatened to pull credentials from the student newspaper for an article on reported acts of violence by a football player....

Officials Missed A Huge Blow To Sam Bradford's Head On Game-Deciding Play
The Minnesota Vikings held Dak Prescott to his fewest yards passing in an NFL game and staged a late comeback against the Dallas Cowboys tonight, but they came up short on a late two-point conversion and lost, 17-15. After hitting Jerick McKinnon for a touchdown pass, Sam Bradford airmailed his two-...

Al Horford's Sister Tells Radio Doofus To Fuck Off Over His Bad Paternity Leave Take
Al Horford missed the Celtics’ win last night over the Heat to be in Atlanta for the birth of his daughter. This did not sit well with Mike Felger, a Boston-based radio and TV doofus, who said on CSN New England last night that Horford should have chartered a private jet and made the game because th...

The Hard Work Is About To Get Harder
Zucotti Park is beautiful in the holiday season. Delicate strings of white lights coat the trees where, just a few years ago, thousands of angry people stomped and plotted and harangued the world during the Occupy Wall Street encampment. Across the street to the east, the warm lights of the Brown Br...

Vegas Golden Knights, Eh?
That up there is the logo of the Vegas Golden Knights, definitely a huge improvement on the “PLACE HOLDER” graphic that greeted fans who turned out for last night’s botched unveiling of the newest NHL team’s name, logo, and colors. But is the whole package any good? It’s time to have opinions....

IPFW Shocks Third-Ranked Indiana; Fan Drinks Bleach
The Mastodons of Fort Wayne sent Indiana back to Bloomington with its first loss of the season after an overtime shocker that resulted in one IPFW student... drinking bleach?...

Indiana Supreme Court Rules Against ESPN, Says Notre Dame Cops Can Keep All The Secrets They Want
Indiana’s Supreme Court ruled against ESPN and Outside the Line’s Paula Lavigne earlier this week, saying that Notre Dame police could refuse releasing any records it damn well pleases, including police reports requested by ESPN. In doing so, the court reversed an appeals court decision in favor of ...

Stanford Band Doofuses Still Barred From Cal Rivalry Game
The Stanford marching band has been banned from road games since May 2015 for a “sexual hazing” scandal, but they’ve been allowed to attend bowl games. They made everyone mad at the Rose Bowl last year by being quirky and transgressive enough to make a completely out-of-left-field joke about how muc...

It's Not Your Imagination, Rent Is Less Affordable Now
The rent: is it too damn high? A new economic research paper finds: it is....

Team Of Bad Soccer Men Does All Sorts Of Bad Soccer Man Stuff
Meet the UMass Boston Beacons, who should more accurately be known as the UMass Boston Bad Soccer Men after their violent displays during this Division III tournament game against Haverford College....

Louisville May Have Committed Espionage To Beat Wake Forest<em></em>
Louisville beat Wake Forest 44-12 this past Saturday, though it was a classic “closer than the score appears” game. Wake was winning 12-0 at one point, and went into the fourth quarter up 12-10 before Louisville blithely stepped on the gas. Nonetheless, it would have been a mere footnote of a game i...

What It's Like To Wake Up And Find Yourself Working For Donald Trump
Career civil and foreign service employees in the U.S. government woke up last week to the prospect of having to work for Donald Trump. What are all these (publicly discreet) professionals actually thinking right now? We have a small glimpse....

Arizona Diamondbacks' New Uniforms Are No Longer Ugly As Hell, But Still Pretty Ugly
After just one season, the Arizona Diamondbacks are retiring the egregiously weird uniforms pictured above in favor of a style that does not make it look as if the players’ legs have been dipped in blood....

Swedish Soccer Guy Appears To Be Some Kind Of Free Kick Wizard
France’s goalkeeper Hugo Lloris is generally regarded as one of the best shot-stoppers in the world, but Swedish winger Emil Forsberg fooled him and everyone with this knuckleball of a free kick. Lloris screwed this one up by starting in the middle and moving towards the wrong side, but Forsberg hit...

The Blackhawks Are Hot As Hell
We’re nearly a fifth of the way through the season (already!), and while the Canadiens have the best record, and the Rangers the best goal differential, there is no team hotter than the Chicago Blackhawks. It’s a bit of a surprise, given their roster turnover and the number of unproven young players...

Donald Trump Uses <i>Fox & Friends</i> Appearance To Burn Tiffany Trump One Last Time
Earlier this morning, Donald Trump stopped by one of his favorite cable TV haunts, Fox & Friends, for one last campaign call-in. Also on the docket: Burning his very own daughter. ...