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Now Playing: The Coldplay-Scored Trailer For Tony Romo's Wedding
The NFL quarterback wedding season is officially upon us, America, and for that, we are thankful — because the quarterbacks in question keep making embarrassing documentation of their weddings available to the general public. First, there was Mr. and Mrs. Flacco in formation, and today, we present...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To The Ballplayer's Twilight
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Derek Jeter and his labored quest for 3,000 hits, here are well-told stories of ballplayers just before, in the years after, or at the exact moment they retired....

Goodbye, Mancession. Hello, He-Covery.
Today's jobs report for June managed to stun economists with its overall shittiness. But separate numbers suggest that what recovery we do have is disproportionately benefiting men. We have a new cute term for this: he-covery. [Jezebel]...

Here's A Nice Lady Fan Peeing In Her Seat (NSFW)
We know. The line to the ladies room is long. We sympathize. But still: ew ew ew....

Army Officer Justin Dale Little Jim Got Caught Fornicating With A Blow-Up Doll Against Its Will
A fella by the name of Justin Dale Little Jim allegedly busted into the MVC Couples Boutique (Lingerie & More) in Woodbridge, Va. early Tuesday morning. By the time police arrived along Jefferson Davis Highway, the front door was busted and more than $200 worth of “merchandise” was already in Littl...

Here's Video Of Prince William Playing Street Hockey Pretty Poorly
Will and Kate are touring that hockey-loving natural resources mine to our north—they might be in charge of it someday!—and their stop today brought them to Yellowknife. Yellowknife is the capital of the Northwest Territories. Not even 20,000 people live there. It's on the shores of the Great Slav...

Gluttony Among The Colonists: Deadspin's British Foreign Correspondent Reports From Nathan’s
America smells heavily of sweat. Sweat and old takeout—a lingering, clotted odor, a hybrid of a gas leak and authentic home cooking. This is my first time smelling or seeing the country. I arrived three days ago, Heathrow to JFK, having never crossed the Atlantic before. Now after a long and hot sub...

Watch A Blue Jays Reliever And Manager Get Ejected On The Day Roy Halladay Returned To Toronto's Mound
Your morning roundup for July 3, the day after some baby gators proved a mud hole is better than any stop, drop and roll mantra....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Schmuck Owners
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Frank McCourt, the lockouts, and James Dolan's never-ending flirtation with Isiah Thomas, here are five of the best stories ever written about terrible owners....

If You've Always Wanted To Hunt a Live Human, Here's Your Willing Prey
This here’s the tale of a fella who calls himself “Mork Encino.” Mork, he has faith in his skills as they apply to both eludin’ and survivin’. He launched a website about it on June 20. It’s called “Hunt Me 4 Sport.” As of last night, there were 21 pictures of him sporting overalls in various poses...

Formula One Looks Like It's Coming To Texas Next Year
Plans for the 2012 American Grand Prix to be held at a new racetrack in Austin, are coming to fruition, with the track under construction and a date of June 17, 2012 circled on the F1 calendar....
![Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1865o9ndt013bjpg.jpg)
Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]
We've obtained audited financial data for the New Jersey Nets covering the three fiscal years from June 2003 to June 2006. Though the numbers end five years ago, you can still see the roots of the argument that will have NBA owners, come midnight, again locking out their players. You can also see ho...

Young Lady Settles The Shark Vs. Dolphin Debate In That Surfer Video Once And For All Or Not
Megan Lee Hart will have you know that her analysis of the New Smyrna Beach, Fla. "shark jumping surfer" video resulted in her assurance that it is, in fact, a shark and not a dolphin as some maintain....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Prodigies
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week's theme, in honor of Rory McIlroy and Kyrie Irving, is sports prodigies. A note to those two: enjoy this moment. If these stories are any indication, there's a slight chance it won't last....

"He's Got A Great Personality": Your Passive-Aggressive 2011 NBA Draft Scouting Roundup
The NBA playoffs are over; the NBA Draft is here. Time to stop watching Dirk Nowitzki, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Kevin Durant, Derrick Rose, and Chris Paul, and to start dreaming about the future—a future in which, honestly, none of this year's prospects have much hope of being better than the leag...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Wimbledon
A quick primer on SportsFeat: Every day, we post great sports writing from across the web, both new stuff and classics. A companion to Longform.org, the site is designed to be used with services like Instapaper and Read It Later, so you can read the stories later on your phone, iPad or Kindle. You c...

New Soccer Uniform Looks Great On Torso-less Players
The unveiling of a team's new kit is a summer tradition, and it's a cynical one. In the US, minor design changes are made and alternate jerseys introduced simply to spur fans to spend more money. In Europe, there's that, and there's a brand new sponsor to plaster across fans' chests....

John McEnroe: Not All Of You Journalists Are Assholes
The classic 1980 Wimbledon Final between John McEnroe and Björn Borg has been dissected more than any match in tennis history. But the friendship that developed between the two, before and since, hasn't been as picked over, in part because Borg, who abruptly left the sport at age 26, has been genera...

How Hair Extensions Made Me A Casual Sex Goddess
You haven't had steamy sex until you've done it with long hair. After adding mid-back blonde extensions to my usual platinum pixie, I had the chance to experience sex from an entirely unique perspective that I didn't even know existed. My long blonde hair was like a dirty maid Halloween costume…you ...

Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....