fr Page 157 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Judge Dismisses Domestic Violence Charges Against Reuben Foster
After the ex-girlfriend of San Francisco 49ers linebacker Reuben Foster recanted her allegations of domestic violence in court last week, Superior Court Judge Nona Klippen ruled today that there is insufficient evidence to proceed with his domestic violence case, and ordered the charges dismissed....
Worthless Jedi Absolutely Humiliated By Cunning Novice
Astros mascot Orbit, who is also apparently a Jedi, was challenged to a lightsaber duel by Indians shortstop Francisco Lindor on Friday. Gotta say, I am starting to believe more and more in Luke Skywalker’s bitter “actually the Jedi are busters” preachings:...
Elfrid Payton's Hair Has Been Laid To Rest
Through all those tough years in Orlando to his current stint in Phoenix, the most notable feature of Elfrid Payton’s game has been his head. Not his “basketball IQ” or his “clutch mentality”—just that majestic drooping frond on top. Every season it protruded further past the point guard’s forehead....
Under Oath, Reuben Foster's Ex-Girlfriend Recants Everything She Said
Reuben Foster’s ex-girlfriend said last month that she had lied when she told police that the San Francisco 49ers linebacker hit her, threw a dog across the room, and broke both her cell phones. On Thursday, 28-year-old Elissa Ennis said that again—this time under oath in a San Francisco courthouse ...
Bill Bradley Had Some Dumb Thoughts About The Legalization Of Sports Gambling
Sports gambling is going to be a disaster for some. The widespread legalization of sports gambling in the United States, for which the Supreme Court paved the way with a ruling earlier this week, will lead to some people gambling all their money away. It will not lead to a renaissance in Atlantic Ci...
Maybe, Just Maybe, The Knicks Might Have A Functional Defense
The Knicks did not luck out, which is basically an evergreen sentence. Their lottery pick did not leap into the top three, which had only a six percent chance of occurring last night. It instead landed at nine, as expected. I feel a little good about this. ...
Why Aren't NFL Safeties Getting Signed?
Eric Reid’s collusion grievance has been in the news, but Reid’s specific situation has overshadowed a rather curious offseason phenomenon involving him and his entire position group: NFL teams aren’t keen on signing free-agent safeties....
Brett Brown: 76ers "Need Help" To Win A Championship
However disappointed the Sixers and their fans may feel about a five-game series loss to the depleted Celtics, their season was an enormous success. They won a playoff series, and were the favorites to win another, and they certainly look closer to championship contention than all but maybe two or t...
Dinosaur-Sized Gator Enjoys Casual Stroll On The Golf Course With His Friends The Deer
It’s big boy season on Fripp Island, South Carolina. Even the local deer populace respects it....
Police Report: Reuben Foster Broke Two Of Girlfriend's Cell Phones, Threw Her Dog Across The Room
The Sacramento Bee’s Matt Barrows obtained police reports and 911 calls that shed new light on what happened the morning of Feb. 11, when 49ers linebacker Reuben Foster was arrested and charged with felony domestic violence. The Santa Clara County District Attorney’s office said in a release last mo...
Gorkys Hernandez Covers Himself In Shame While Trying To Rob A Homer<em></em>
The Phillies are wrecking the Giants tonight, but not even a double-digit run differential can inflict as much embarrassment on one player as Carlos Santana’s three-run dong did to San Francisco center fielder Gorkys Hernandez. When Santana blasted one to the deepest part of the ballpark, Hernandez ...
Former Washington DT A.J. Francis Rips Team On Instagram After Signing With Giants: "Your Logo Is Racist"
Defensive tackle A.J. Francis signed with the New York Giants today after being released by his former team, Washington, on Monday. He celebrated the move with an Instagram post that’s way more good riddance than goodbye. ...
Eric Reid Files Collusion Grievance Against The NFL
Free agent safety Eric Reid has filed a collusion grievance against the NFL and retained Mark Geragos, the same attorney who is also handling Colin Kaepernick’s collusion lawsuit. Reid began kneeling during the national anthem to protest racial inequality and police brutality during the 2016 season,...
Pablo Sandoval Pitched A Perfect Inning, And It Was Just Fucking Perfect
Saturday’s slate of Major League games featured a number of hideous blowouts. The White Sox crushed the Royals by eight runs in Kansas City. The Rays scored 12 runs on 18 hits against the Red Sox. The Dodgers scored 15 runs and beat the Giants by nine. The Mariners beat the Indians by eight. The Ast...
All Hail Franchy Cordero, San Diego's Dong-Smashing Superhero
Excellently named Padres outfielder Franchy Cordero can sure launch a goddamn tater. He plays in San Diego, which is as obscure a professional baseball outpost as you can find without going to the minors, but we should all be paying attention to young Franchy. According to Statcast, Cordero has alre...
The Raptors Finally, Mercifully Spared Us Any More Of The Washington Wizards
The Wizards, who won 43 games during the regular season—that’s three fewer than the Denver Nuggets, who failed to make the playoffs in the much tougher Western Conference—and were the Eastern Conference’s 8th seed, were eliminated on their home floor by the Toronto Raptors Friday night. ...
PGA Tour Event Made Much Cooler By Crew Of Fun-Loving Gators
The Zurich Classic’s being played this weekend down in Louisiana, and the tournament features a few hundred golfers (okay) and approximately 20 alligators (great!). This little buddy was kind of interrupted by a Talor Gooch shot, and they tried to scare him off by throwing a rake towards him. He ate...
Reuben Foster's Ex-Girlfriend's Lawyer Says Her Client Lied To Police About Domestic Violence
A new statement released Wednesday by the lawyer of the former girlfriend of San Francisco 49ers linebacker Reuben Foster claims that Foster’s ex-girlfriend has admitted to lying to police about injuries that she previously said were caused by Foster. Foster was arrested in February and charged with...
Turn Your Mango Into A Delicious Hedgehog, And Conquer It At Last
So much of your life is impossible to give order to. A mango is not one of those things. It may seem like one, big gooey lump that it is, but it is not. It can be given perfect geometric clarity with just a few tactical blade strokes. I can’t recommend solving many of your other problems this way, b...
Reports: Mike Francesa Is Thirsty For WFAN Return, Diet Coke<em></em>
That was quick....