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Report: Investigators Now Looking Into How Administrators Disciplined Penn State Football Players
We've mentioned how the Jerry Sandusky verdict is only the beginning for Penn State. There are still the ongoing investigations by the feds and by former FBI director Louis Freeh—hired by the Board of Trustees to do an independent inquiry—that could implicate what role, if any, university officials ...
!["It's Just All Made Up And Flagellant": A Tour Of Fred Davis's Hilarious Legal Troubles [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17rafso5oxas7jpg.jpg)
"It's Just All Made Up And Flagellant": A Tour Of Fred Davis's Hilarious Legal Troubles [UPDATE]
Well, now. Yesterday, The Washingtonian passed along the glorious details of the shitshow civil suit being brought against Redskins tight end Fred Davis by a woman who's accused of being a "pimpette." Long story short: Davis allegedly poured an entire pitcher of juice on the woman's head, and the wo...

Italy Beats Germany In Soccer, Vulgar Newspaper Headlines
Ahead of their Euro semifinal match yesterday, one German paper stuck a bunch of Italian players on a pizza and called it an insult. They don't know from insults. The Italians? They know insults....

Here's The Absolute Worst Draft Analysis Written Today
It's early—like, 14 hours after the draft, and we empirically don't know how any of the players chosen will perform in the NBA—but I think we have already a winner for the trollingest post-draft column. To be fair to the Denver Post's Mark Kiszla, his job is to stir up shit. But this is something sp...

Crazy Fans, Fierce Competition, Doping Disclaimers: A Guide To The 99th Tour De France
The 99th Tour de France (that's "Tour of France," for the non-Francophiles) starts on Saturday, and Deadspin's got something coming down the mountain shortly. In the meantime, Gunaxin has you covered—an eloquent defense of the sport's response to its doping problem, good profiles of the Americans in...

There's Some Tim Lincecum Voodoo Going On At The Marlins' Bobblehead Museum
We've already highlighted the horrors of Marlins Park's Bobblehead Museum, featuring a moving glass case that keeps the heads bobbling...ever bobbling. But there, in some severed ceramic, may lie the answer to Tim Lincecum's struggles....

San Francisco Police Dressing Up As Dodger Fans Is Totally Not Entrapment Somehow
The Dodgers and Giants meet up again at AT&T Park starting tonight, which means there will be fights between Dodger and Giant fans in the stands, in the parking lot, in the gift shops probably. It just happens, it's been this way for years, and this blood feud will surely outlive us all. However, ci...

Nets Raise Their Offer To Deron Williams To A Birthday Party, Two Human Children
Deron Wiliams's wish list reportedly consists of just two teams: the Dallas Mavericks and the Brooklyn Nets. For a little extra-contractual love, the Nets drove a big old truck up to Williams's Soho home today, in honor of his 28th birthday. They also left a pair of children, but considering William...

Free Agent Says Money Is Important
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: So Steve Nash isn't going to the Knicks, then....

Abe Sauer Is A Dishonest Cretin: A Note From The Editors Of Deadspin
Yesterday, in a post we published about an unfolding scandal in the Indoor Football League, we inadvertently left out a link, which made it appear that a quote from the Argus-Leader of Sioux Falls had instead come from KELO....

What Did Internet Trolls Do Before The Internet? They Sent Letters To Wellington Mara That Wound Up In His FBI File
So you think you're a successful troll? Think again, tough guy....

Metta World Peace Says The Lakers Are The NBA's Best Team And Don't Need To Make Any Changes
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: World Peace is unlikely to become a GM one day....

The Mets Bought A Chicken For Frank Francisco, Not Ritually Killing It
Before the beginning of this year's second edition of the "Subway Series" between the New York Yankees and New York Mets, Mets closer Frank Francisco called the Yankees chickens. Because the Yankees complain about everything. Anyway, it was much ado about nothing and everyone downplayed the quote. ...

Plaxico Burress Wants To Play For The Panthers. The Panthers Do Not Want Plaxico Burress To Play For The Panthers.
Who wants a possibly washed-up wide receiver on the wrong side of 35 and still carrying plenty of baggage? Burress didn't actually have a bad season with the Jets, his first post-prison. It was just underwhelming, with major drops in catches, yards and scores—and football players are not one of thos...

There Was An Inferior Substitute To Front-Row Amy At Yesterday's Brewers Game
A few weeks ago, the ever-present Brewers fan Front-Row Amy missed a game. Mavens worried for her health, as a framed photograph of the Milwaukee superfan was in her usual seat. Not to worry, though, as she was back for the next game and looking her usual best....

Steve Carell, The Star Next Door
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World is probably the most Steve Carell movie that Steve Carell has ever made. With someone else at the helm, this comedy-drama's quirky/emo storyline—two mismatched East Coast neighbors take a road trip together as the planet is weeks away from destruction—might ...

Race Horses Now Doping By Licking Frogs
There's some weird counter-intuition at play when it's argued that thoroughbred racing has its doping problem under control because there are so many positive tests. But with so much money at stake—much more than in some small-change sport like baseball—there's a secret arms race between the good sc...
![Fernando Tatís Had A Nice Chat With Homer Simpson On Twitter [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17py99ljkjesnjpg.jpg)
Fernando Tatís Had A Nice Chat With Homer Simpson On Twitter [CORRECTION]
To hear Fernando Tatís tell it, he learned to speak English from The Simpsons while he was working his way up through the minor leagues. He eventually made it out of the the minors and played 11 season in Major League Baseball for the Rangers, Cardinals, Nationals Expos, Orioles and finally the Met...

Aubrey Huff Hurt Himself Celebrating Matt Cain's Perfect Game
Baseball players: can they stop getting injured in ludicrous ways? No, they can not, and we are thankful for it....

The USTA Will Make The U.S. Open The Most Fogeyish Grand Slam Tournament
For years, the U.S. Open was the antidote to Wimbledon and Roland Garros' fussiness (the Australian was basically just irrelevant and a big Whatever). At the Open there were ungodly late matches, bigger stadiums, the made-for-TV scheduling bonanza in Super Saturday, loud music, longer commercial bre...