fr Page 362 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kellen Winslow Takes His Soldier Posturing, Infected Balls To Tampa
The Browns oft-injured, vocal former number one pick, takes hisl tight end stylings to the land of pirate ships and eye patches. The Bucs give up draft picks for his services. [National Football Post]...
You And I Will Soon Be Subsidizing The Pistons
So Bank of America received $25 billion in federal bailout money, and will now loan $175 million to the NBA to help struggling franchises. Seattle SuperSonics: "A little late!" [The Huffington Post]...
Wait, Tim Lincecum Is Making How Much?
Tim Lincecum, last season's Cy Young Award winner, just signed a contract with the Giants for one year at $650,000. Barry Zito chortles, wipes dog poop off shoe with $100 bill....
Albert Haynesworth Becomes Highest Paid Face-Stomper In History
The Redskins, still spending like it's 2002, have inked the Titans' menacing defensive tackle to a 7-year, $100 million deal. [Redskins Insider]...
The Real Reason For Jeff Reed's Towel Tantrum
I know the idea of Jeff Reed, drunk in a gas station bathroom at 3:00 a.m. sounds improbable, but there was actually a very good reason for it. He was paid to do it!...
Revisiting Jeff Reed's Paper Towel Freakout: An Investigative Report
You're probably thinking to yourself, "Hey, did they ever fix the towel dispenser that Jeff Reed broke?" That or you were thinking of pie. Quite often it's pie....
Randy Johnson Will Still Put A Ball In Your Neck If You Test Him
"In Johnson's first throwing session against Giants hitters on Saturday, his new teammates took a few too many pitches for his taste. Unabashedly incensed, Johnson grumbled afterward, 'Swing the stinking bat!' [NY TIMES]...
Pittsburgh Still Having Trouble With This No. 1 Thing
One week ago, Pittsburgh was an unstoppable juggernaut asserting their dominance by thrashing a previously unbeatable behemoth. Today, everyone is scratching their heads and saying, "What's wrong with those guys?"...
Meet Your New Quarterback, Vikings Fans
The Texans said that they will trade Sage Rosenfels to the Vikings on Friday for a fourth-round draft pick. Is that a threat? [Houston Chronicle]...
Wide Receiver Michael Crabtree Has Stress Fracture In Foot, Will Be Out 6-10 Weeks, Is Still Better Than All Chicago Bears WRs Combined
A medical exam at the NFL combine reveals a stress fracture in the foot of Texas Tech WR Michael Crabtree. He will miss 6-10 weeks. He's still the best WR in the draft. [NFL.com]...
I Guess Brian Bocock Calls It Schwing Training
So here's a rather amusing tale from San Francisco Giants beat writer Andrew Baggarly of the San Jose Mercury. Yes, it involves boner pills. Doesn't every Giants' story?...
Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
Attorneys for Barry Bonds on Wednesday made a defense filing that their client's gigantic skull and tiny nuts should not be entered into evidence at his perjury trial....
Mike Singletary Even Spells Crazy
Mike Singletary says he wants the 49ers to be "physical ... with an F." I don't even know what that means, but he's officially my new favorite coach. [SF Gate]...
Not All High School Kids Are Heartless Punks
As an old person, I am required to fear and distrust teenagers, but there are allegedly a few out there who believe in sportsmanship and goodwill, even toward an opponent....
The SF Giants Ask That You Kindly Do Not Mock Their Concession Food
Yeah, yeah, AT&T Park features hot dogs that have Thousand Island sauce, a dill pickle spear and "Swish" Cheese. Want to make something of it?? [Home Run Derby]...
Fred Taylor Released By Jaguars, Fantasy Football Players Rejoice
He told media reporters that, despite getting cut, he still believes he can be a starter in the NFL. Then he tore his groin while cleaning out his locker. [ESPN]...
Jeff Reed Freaks Out On Paper Towel Machine, Convenience Store Workers
If this case of criminal mischief involved any other professional athlete, it would be moderately surprising. Alas, it's Pittsburgh Steelers' kicker Jeff Reed, whose behavior continues to baffle and amuse....
Jeff Reed Likes His Nachos/Is Getting Fat
That's not eatin', that's dinin'. Steelers kicker enjoys the high life at the Pitt-West Virgina basketball game. [Busted Coverage]...
High School Basketball Team Pulls Off Rare 17-Point Play For The Win (UPDATE)
Your team is down by five with 12 seconds left and has just committed an intentional foul. Game over? Not if you can find a way to get eight technical fouls called on your opponent....
Schedule Div. II Power Academy Of Art At Your Own Peril
So this was a pretty amusing basketball box score sent to me by a friend: Final, University of San Francisco 74, Academy of Art 28. I wish I could have attended that matchup of titans....