france Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
On The First Day, The Tour De France Featured These Two Crashes<em></em>
The opening stage of the Tour de France was a wild one. The feared crosswinds of northern France did not split up the race and produce time gaps between general classification contenders like they did last year. Heavy winds can make it impossible for riders that come unmoored from the peloton to fig...
French Cyclist Will Miss The Tour De France After Punching Out Rude Drunks Who Tried To Fight Him
Most professional cyclists are—by the standards of the alpha sportsman—not particularly intimidating. Descriptors you could use to describe pro cyclists range from “waif-thin insect person” to “cut, scrawny, and sunburnt.” However, French sprinter Nacer Bouhanni defies this, even if he’s 5-foot-9, 1...
The Casual Observer's Guide To The Tour De France
Professional cycling is pretty damn boring as a televised spectacle. The bike guys ride for like six hours; they go up and down hills; they occasionally crash; the only highlights are one bike guy going faster than the other bike guys. There are no dunks, no tackles—just different groups of the same...
Report: Donald Trump Cobbles Together A Cast Of Sports Dickheads For GOP Convention<em></em>
Donald Trump, a pile of faux-leather designer handbag knockoffs, has compiled a murderers’ row of sports figures for next month’s Republican National Convention in Cleveland. Bloomberg Politics reports that Mike Tyson, Mike Ditka, Bobby Knight, and NASCAR CEO Brian France have all chosen to shed wha...
The Tour De France Is Using French Nuclear Tech To Stop Motorized Doping<em></em>
The professional cycling season stretches from January to October, across every continent, but only one race achieves any kind of crossover into the mainstream sports world. The Tour de France, which starts this weekend at Mont Saint-Michel, accounts for over 80 percent of the annual TV exposure for...
Dimitri Payet Saves France's Ass With Late Game-Winning Goal
France at times looked a little tense during their Euro 2016-opening match against Romania, as they created chances at will but couldn’t keep their composure enough to convert them into goals. Late on, they were tied at 1-1, looking for someone to save the day. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that it w...
Hatem Ben Arfa Won't Be At The Euros, But Let's Watch Him Flay Defenders Anyway
Overshadowed in the international selection controversy sparked by Eric Cantona’s comments and Karim Benzema’s fanning of the flames was Cantona’s lamentation that Hatem Ben Arfa wasn’t called up for the France team for the Euros. As understandable as the Ben Arfa snub is, it’s still sad. Because Be...
Karim Benzema Blames Racism—Not His Alleged Involvement In Blackmailing Teammate Over Sex Tape—For Euros Snub
In normal circumstances, Karim Benzema would be at the top of the world right now. Fresh off a great season at Real Madrid that culminated in Champions League glory, he should be getting ready to lead France in the Euro 2016 tournament as the host nation’s best player. Instead, he’ll be watching it ...
Paul Pogba Is A Goddamn Freak
This is one of those goal highlights where I couldn’t care less about what the scorer—in this case, France’s Olivier Giroud, who finished the play with a nice little volley—does. The only thing I’m here for is this spectacular long-range cross by Paul Pogba. It’s unreal....
Good God, Look At What Dimitri Payet's Done This Time
Reigning king of the free kick Dimitri Payet showed off his craft again today in a friendly against Cameroon, delivering France the victory with this screamer....
Mike Francesa Is Very Annoyed That <i>Sports Illustrated</i> Put Lionel Messi On Its Cover
If Mike Francesa’s visceral disdain for soccer didn’t come through clear enough when he stumbled his way through a simple MLS ad read last week, today’s rant aimed at SI for their decision to dedicate the mag’s cover to Lionel Messi and a big portion of its coverage (specifically, as Mike discovers:...
That Time Two Cyclists Tried To Fix A Tour de France Stage And Royally Screwed Up
It’s the final climb of Stage 15 of the 2005 Tour de France, the queen stage of the last Tour Lance Armstrong will win before retiring. A small group featuring the General Classification contenders and a few hangers on is grinding up the Pla d’Adet, when Oscar Sevilla makes the first attack five kil...
Mike Francesa Is Very Confused By Basically Everything Related To MLS
Here is a non-comprehensive list of the things Mike Francesa exhibits serious confusion about during what should’ve been a short promo advertising tickets to an NYCFC-NY Red Bulls game: that NYCFC and the Red Bulls are in fact two separate teams; the correct pronunciation of international superstar ...
Bob Bradley's Le Havre Miss Out On Promotion To Ligue 1 By One Goal
Aww hell. Bob Bradley, former USMNT coach, took over French second-division club Le Havre in November and got the team off and running towards promotion to Ligue 1. Heading into today, Le Havre trailed Metz by three points and six goals. To make it to a top European league for the first time, Bradle...
Francesco Totti Starred In Front Of Roma Fans, For Perhaps The Final Time
Francesco Totti might be the most beloved athlete by his team’s fans in the world. At 39 he still plays for hometown club Roma, who he signed with as a 12-year-old in 1989. He is Roma’s captain—he was first named in 1998, 18 goddamn years ago—and holds numerous club and Serie A records....
Karim Benzema Won't Play For France This Summer Due To Sex Tape Scandal
For as large as the legal ramifications of Karim Benzema’s involvement in the attempted blackmailing of fellow French soccer player Mathieu Valbuena have loomed over the Real Madrid star’s head, the effect the ordeal would have on his international career was also one of his chief concerns. Today he...
Check Out The Absurd Backheel Volley This French Guy Scored
Boy, do these dudes in France’s lower tiers know how to score wondergoals. After last week’s backheel-to-overhead kick golazo, we now have Jordan Blondel upping the stakes by sizing up a long ball from his own half, and while backpedaling towards goal, kicking the ball in with his heel. From outside...
Mike Francesa Forced To Order Wrestlemania For His Sons, Remains Crestfallen
Mike Francesa has two sons: Jack and the dreaded Harrison. This is the story of how they manipulated him into ordering last night’s Wrestlemania on pay-per-view:...
Dimitri Payet Is Too Good At Free Kicks
Seriously. You shouldn’t be able to score from this far out:...
A Reminder That Anthony Martial Is Still A Goddamn Child
It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that, notwithstanding his huge transfer fee and his multimillion-dollar salary and his formidable size and his surprisingly advanced game, underneath it all, Manchester United forward Anthony Martial is still just a kid....