g Page 4977 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Time To Talk Wife Swapping
I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive and brutal consequences. Oh yes. I'm talking about meat sweats. You know the kind. You wake up at 4AM sweating beefy juices. Your heart feels like a fucking 90-ton weight. You feel li...
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY DEVILS
Hence, the prolonged wheel-spinning you may be experiencing. From Gawker Quality Assurance: "It appears that we are under attack again, and are seeing major problems as a result." Just be patient or FUCKING PRAY QUIETLY BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR EYES BLEED....
Last Night's Winner: Whatever's Left Of Sportswriting's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Dave Kindred, who the other day threw some heat at Mitch Albom's bean and gave us moderate hope that the sportswriting establishment isn't completely out to lunch....
Jennie Finch Retiring From Leisure Activity
She's calling it quits at age 29, even though softball is designed for 50-year-olds. Oh no! Without Finch as a draw, how will we — well, continue not paying attention to professional softball? [AP]...
Rangers Pitcher Hit In Head With Comeback Liner
Tonight in the bottom of the 6th, Rangers reliever Dustin Nippert took a hard liner to the head courtesy of the Tigers' Austin Jackson. Nippert seemed shaken but ultimately walked himself off. He is currently listed as day-to-day, according to MLB.com....
<em>Major League</em> Manager Dies
James Gammon—the manager from Major League and a lot of other stuff—died over the weekend after a long battle with cancer. Everybody smoke a pack of Marlboro Reds and talk like him in his honor. [Backstage]...
Baby Eating Way Out Of Watermelon Encapsulates The Human Cond—Awwwwwww!
Edible time-out? Funtime/dinnertime mashup? Emerging pod person? All we know is—awwwwwww! [via ExtraHotTrainaMustardClicks]...
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Devin Gardner
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's subject: Michigan Wolverine Devin Gardner and all his snaps during the UM spring game, set to Bing Crosby's "Temptation" and "Hawaiian War Chant."...
Cat Playing Hockey? Cat Playing Hockey.
Cat? Playing hockey....
Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"Police responded early Friday to a call of shots fired at a home in Roberts and found a man apparently hallucinating an attack by clowns." [Pioneer Press](via DCarr)...
Miguel Ángel Jiménez Wins The British Open Trick Shot Competition
Miguel Ángel Jiménez will never have to buy...whatever his drink of choice is after this shot Saturday. On 17—the affectionately named Road Hole—he had no choice but to Tin Cup it off the wall onto the green. Smooth, MAJ. Smooth....
Tiger Woods Is Back To Cussing At Himself
Over the weekend, Tiger didn't perform as well as he had planned and, following a missed putt, decided to let the obscenities fly. While oddly familiar, we are glad to see Tiger getting his act together on the green. [Devil Ball Golf]...
Mike Tyson Offers A Few Thoughts On Gentrification
On returning to his old Brownsville neighborhood: "This white woman come up, and I'm thinking, Wow. When I was a kid, she would've been robbed and raped and left for dead. This is a real strange scenario, and I just wanted to cry. I'm like, 'Who am I? Where's my heritage?'" [Details]...
Dwyane Wade's World Trade Center Reference And Other Great Moments In 9/11 Sports Analogies
Dwyane Wade's questionable World Trade Center reference he gave to Fanhouse briefly set off hyper-sensitivity alarms everywhere, but it wasn't even that awful compared to some of the other ones we've seen recently....
Now They're Tasing Fans At Minor League Baseball Games
Another cop tased another unruly sports fan on Saturday, this time at a Daytona-Fort Myers Class A game. Between this and the explosions, minor league baseball is starting to resemble Greek basketball far more than anyone should be comfortable with. [Busted Coverage]...
Tour De France Rider Has Unrealistic Sportsmanship Expectations
Alberto Contador took the yellow jersey from Andy Schleck in today's Pyrenees stage. Noteworthy is the fact that Schleck is pissed that Contador — and the rest of the field — didn't stop and wait for him while he fixed his bike....
Incredibly Fun Video Of A Fireworks Mishap At A Minor League Baseball Game
Everyone loves a good minor league baseball fireworks show. Unfortunately, whether you've bused in a group of epileptics or not, these things just don't go according to plan....
Spend Your Lunch Break Reading Through This Highbrow Round Table Featuring A Bunch Of Our Pals
Katie Baker, Will Leitch, Bethlehem Free Darko Shoals, Chad Harbach—editor of n+1— and more, talking about sports and literature? Click through already! One of the panelists even reveals a secret crush on Craggs. [The Morning News]...
Angry Footballer Attempts To Strangle The Ref
It's not easy being a ref, especially when a player attempts a WWE "sleeper hold" to stop you from producing a red card. It makes you wonder, had the ref passed out as intended, would Pedrozo have casually stayed on the pitch?...
A Straight Man's Gay Softball Odyssey
Dedicated as we are to covering the sport, we'd be remiss in not sending you to the story of one man who loves his gay softball team almost as much as he loves kissing ladies. [Good Men Project]...