g Page 5009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ozzie Guillen Has No Sympathy For Clevelanders
Guillen was nice enough to autograph a ball for an Indians fan before last night's game. He also put a personalized message on there. (Other side, just as knife-twisting, after the jump.)...
Last Night's Winner: The Stupid Zone Defense
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Phoenix Suns' 2-3 zone, which has thus far discombobulated the Lakers and which is otherwise a regrettable development for hoopish fops like me....
Target Field Squirrel Delays Game, Attacks Infielder
The Twins game was stopped in the fourth inning, as an errant squirrel made his way to the field. Brendan Harris nearly met his death, with nasty, big, pointy teeth....
Here's An Indonesian Toddler Who Smokes 40 Cigs Per Day
Exasperated mum says: "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." Do they have 3-1-1 in Musi Banyuasin? [TheSun]...
Erin Andrews Has Made It After All
It wasn't that long ago that everyone wondered how Erin Andrews could ever recover from her humiliating and scary stalker episode. Now she's rolling around in lingerie and letting people rave about her ass. Looks like she made it....
Photos From The World Poutine-Eating Championship Will Disgust You
Last Saturday, Toronto hosted the first-ever Major League Eating-sanctioned poutine-eating contest, and by the looks of it, it was a gravy-and-curd-soaked madhouse. Torontoist has an account of the festivities and more photos like this one of Pete "Pretty Boy" Davekos. [Torontoist]...
Mississippi State Recruit Bodyslams Math Teacher Onto Unemployment Line
Click to view Here's video of Jamerson Love, a cornerback for Aberdeen High School, wrestling now-former algebra teacher Shobul Johnson. Allegedly, Johnson asked his students to "black out the windows" and "move the furniture" before commencing to rumble. Then he got his asymptote kicked. [Rivals]...
And Now A Photo Of Evan Longoria's Penis. Allegedly.
Those Beantown rapscallions at Barstool Sports have posted a photo of what one woman claims is the Rays' third baseman's prodigious bologna hammer. If you choose to click, remember that the safety of your workplace may be in peril. PENISPHOTO....
Is The Dude Using The Printer Watching You Watch Porn?
I went into a fitting room the other day and the room had mirrors on three sides. This is fucking awesome. I'll never NOT feel like I've walked into the middle of Enter The Dragon when I encounter a room with this kind of arrangement. WHICH DREW IS THE REAL DREW?! Also, if you enjoy studying yoursel...
Today In Tacky World Cup Marketing: Hyundai's Soccer Car
Soccer-ball wheels, soccer-cleat sideviews, artificial-turf interiors make for one hideous promotional vehicle. At the same time, shouldn't every sport be doing this? I want to laugh at a Ford F-150 outfitted with a Buccaneers helmet, stat. [Copyranter]...
Mexico Fans Win Important Football Fancy Dress Battle
During any football match, there are numerous battles going on. You've got the obvious one on the pitch, accompanied by hundreds of verbal ones in local pubs around the country, whilst in a wasteland somewhere geographically equidistant from the clubs......
Last Night's Winner: Toothless Self-Imposed Sanctions
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michigan's football program, which, when they're the ones suggesting the punishment, somehow, somehow got off easy....
Minor Leaguers Mercilessly Teased For Their Giant, Goofy Heads
Big helmet or tiny head? Francisco Cervelli fans (hey, he has some!) have been wondering that for a few weeks now, but in the coming years an entire corps of MLB players may look like futuristic, yet dorky space travelers....
Nolan Ryan Buys Texas Rangers (Who Still Owe A-Rod Money, By The Way)
The Texas Rangers declared bankruptcy today, which was merely a procedural matter on the road to a $575 million sale to team president/good 'ol boy Nolan Ryan and his group of investors. First step? Pay off some really lousy contracts....
Pi Beta Phi: The Party-Menace Sorority Of The Midwest
Ohio University's branch of Pi Beta Phi held a winter formal and, just like their sisters at Miami University (of Ohio), they abandoned all forms of lady-likeness and terrorized the place where it was held. The Smoking Gun has the gory rundown....
Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut
Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko]...
Renovated MSG To Bring Sports Arenas Into (A Six-Year-Old's View Of) The Future
The first thing that jumps out at you in the renderings of the new-and-improved Madison Square Garden are two "sky bridges" that hang over the floor. Gimmicky? Yep. Sure to be ridiculously-priced for something higher than the highest nosebleeds? You betcha....
A Dog Bit Through This Ultimate Fighter's Penis
Kyacey Uscola was eliminated from The Ultimate Fighter last week. It was the high point of his week, as he soon received an unplanned second urethra opening from an ornery pit bull....
Boston Radio Hosts Hang Up On Delonte-Banged-LeBron's Mom Rumor Monger
Although TerezOwens is gaining some national attention from his "Exclusive" LeBron scoop, 98.5 The Sports Hub's Toucher and Rich refuse to waste their time letting Terez stand by his Nigerian Prince sources. The last two minutes are highly amusing. [98.5SportsHubviaSRI]...
Mourinho Celebrates With Incredible Display Of Spitting
For those of you too busy pinking up your faces and sloshing back summertime pints, Jose Mourinho had a great night on Saturday, bagging another Champions League trophy, before celebrating with a home made water fountain. Some highlights after the jump....