g Page 5018 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dwight Howard Copies That One Thing That LeBron Copied
Dwight Howard, the clown prince of the NBA, imitated LeBron James' sorta-not-really-his chalk toss before Game 2 against the Hawks. Dwight should go for broke next time; do MJ's tongue waggle while coming out of an Eagle County courthouse. [The Hoops Doctors]...
The Tiger Woods Injury-Condition Flub You've Been Waiting For All Day
Tiger Woods' bulging disc has forced him to exit The Players Championship and occasioned a Freudian moment from one unfortunate Golf Channel reporter, who called the injury a "bulging dick." H/T Michael....
Benny The Bull Goes On <em>Jerry Springer</em>, Fights Rival Bull Over Woman
For some reason, Benny the Bull, he of the reckless high-fives and sheriff punches, went on Springer recently and learned that his woman-friend was stepping out on him with another mascot. Metaphors and interpretations welcome below. [Pippen Ain't Easy]...
How To Change A Fucking Diaper
In honor of Mother's Day, and with a nod to The Awl, here is your belligerent guide to changing a kid's filth-laden diaper. You're welcome, assholes....
Commence Your Snickering: Tiger Pulls Out Of The Players With Bulging Disc
Woods is out of The Players Championship with what he thinks is a bulging disc. He had shot a 70-71-71 going into today and now withdraws after knocking a fat double-entendre right down the fairway. [NYT]...
Join Us Monday For A Marathon Live Chat With Will Leitch
Leitch will be taking your questions at 1 p.m. tomorrow — about his book, about whatever — and he says he'll hang around until you have none left. We're gunning for your record, Neyer....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...
Attack Of The Customized Jerseys Starts Off With A...Bang
Now that baseball season feels officially official, the customized jerseys are becoming more plentiful. If you see one on par with Captain Fingerbang up there, please send it to [email protected]. Subject: Customized Jersey. (H/T A.Heacock)...
Drunk Golf Fan Taunts Tiger, Gets Tasered At The Players Championship
Travis Parmelee was arrested for disorderly intoxication and summarily tasered by police officers yesterday at the second round of The Players Championship "after he refused to stop heckling Tiger Woods." A Drew Magary fan or regular Hawaiian-shirted, mustachioed hero? [Daily News]...
Miami University Had The Pukiest, Poopiest, Sexiest Spring Formal Ever
On April 9, 2010, Miami University's Pi Beta Phi fraternity for women held a spring formal at the quaint Lake Lyndsay Lodge in Hamilton, Ohio. The sloppy, slutty details of what transpired that boozy enchanted evening are tremendous....
Art Rooney II Personally Lets Steelers Fans Know That Big Ben Is Just Not A Good Person
Art Rooney II has been vocal about his disappointment in quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's off-field behavior and continues to condemn him both publicly, and in letters to concerned fans....
Brian Cushing's Performance-Enhancing Regimen Was Not Up To Snuff
Oh, now, don't you go trotting out those old photos again to prove a point. Let's have NFL commentator (and MMA warrior!) Jay Glazer yell at him instead: "Yes, livid about Cushing." For commentary longer than 140 characters, read this....
Dallas Braden's Dumb Feud With A-Rod Manages To Get Dumber
The A's lefthander took exception a few weeks ago when A-Rod ran across the mound, a violation of one of a thousand unwritten rules in baseball that remain unwritten for the simple reason that they're stupid. And we're still talking about it....
Ted Leonsis: Greatest Owner Ever?
As his first act as owner of the Wizards (and the Verizon Center), Leonsis will take down the Washington Mystics' attendance banners. All the Mystics fans will be chartering a single Volkswagen Golf to drive to the protest. [Ted's Take]...
Today In World Cup Jingoism
"Our famous prayer is that the Americans don't make the second round," says South Africa's police commissioner, who doesn't want to deal with the headache of making sure President Obama doesn't get killed, should he visit. Thanks? [NYTimes]...
Barca Striker Is Not Gay, He Insists Loudly
This photo of Barcelona's Gerard Pique and Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been making the rounds, with the expected chatter. Ibra had this to say to a reporter: "Come to my house with your sister and see if I'm queer." [via Dirty Tackle]...
Private Stache: Magic The Gathering
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
Tell Me How My Class Tastes: Scenes From The Worst NFL Draft Party Ever
This is, on the surface, the tale of the lamest NFL Draft party of all time. But it's also a story about class and about fans who project their own anxieties on their favorite teams and about teams that respond in kind....
Hooters Sponsors Youth Aussie Rules Football Team, Outrage Is Palpable
A Melbourne, Australia Hooters has been criticized by various wet blankets for sponsoring an under-16 Australian Rules Football team, the Broadbeach Cats. As per usual, there are adults trying to ruin all the fun....
Dairy Council Takes The Fall For The Patriots
Remember when the Patriots ditched a nice little middle school event to, I dunno, go shoot up drugs or something? It wasn't their fault, says this New England Dairy Council press release, which was probably drafted at Belichick gunpoint....