g Page 5026 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Australian Rugby Team Nearly Destroyed Over Salary Cap Violations
One of Australia's top rugby teams was caught secretly exceeding the league salary cap by $1.7 million over five years. The penalty? They have to return two championships, forfeit every game this season and the cops have been called. Yikes....

Last Night's Winner: The Almighty Dollar
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Daniel Goldstein, the last man standing between the Nets and their shiny Brooklyn arena, who just got $3 million to sit down. That stinks....

Everyone Can Get Behind These Sedin Twins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

When You're Not Gay Enough For Gay Softball
Three bisexual men are suing the organizers of the Gay World Series for excluding them, because they occasionally like to have sex with women....

Drunk Coachella Guy Is Here To Save The Day
So, today. Well, good intentions, yadda yadda. It ended up being funny in an absurd sense, right? Well, here's a drunk guy at Coachella last weekend who can't quite figure out sandals or the concept of balance. This is not a metaphor....

Farewell, Peggy Noonan
The Deadspin part-time author is moving on with life/work. We wish her the best of luck. [Gawker]...

Ridiculous Rain Delay Proves Once And For All That College People Have Too Much Free Time
Florida Atlantic and Western Kentucky were mired in a rain delay of indeterminate length and decided to get a little silly rather than adjust their jocks and spit sun-flower seeds like those layabout MLBers. H/T, like, 15 of you. [YouTube]...

<em>Newsday</em> Sports Section Adopts Strict Policy Of Blowing Sunshine Up Your Ass
Newsday, a collection of tire ads that old people leave lying around diners in Farmingdale, is cracking down on any use of sarcasm or name-calling or "negative characterization" in its corpse of a sports section. To which I say: Brilliant idea, assholes!...

Spud Webb Asks For A Boost
Attention, Illustrator junkies. Spud Webb needs someone, anyone to design the logo for his new website. The wage may be low, but the glory will last as long as he can afford to hold onto the domain name. [Mycroburst]...

Kid Leaps Over Catcher, Compels You To Watch A College Baseball Highlight Just This Once
This is Brian Kownacki of Fordham (Royals of the A-10) leaping over the catcher for Iona (Royals of the MAAC), capping an eight-run comeback and performing a feat last accomplished by Wesley Snipes, when he jumped over an IRS agent. [YouTube, via]...

The Clippers, In A Nutshell: Wealthy Incompetent Bickers With Wealthier Incompetent Over $6.75 Million
Mike Dunleavy claims that Clippers owner Donald "Evict the Bitch" Sterling is stiffing him out of a bunch of money that neither of them really deserves. [LAT, via Slam]...

Ben Roethlisberger Suspended Six Games (Unless He Isn't)
NFL PR confirms that Roger Goodell will suspend the Steelers QB for six games, pending "behavioral evaluation" that could reduce/lengthen the suspension before the season starts. The question: Can he literally keep it in his pants until August? [NFL.com]...

Last Night's Winner: Football, As Usual
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. They might have even won NBA or NHL playoff games last night, but who really knows? Let's talk about games that happen five months from now!...

Target Field's Urinal Problem
The early reviews for the Twins' new ballpark have been almost unanimous in their praise — almost. The lines outside the men's restrooms have been long, even longer than the women's. This makes no sense. We need answers....

Ridiculously Early All-Star Voting Makes A Mockery Of Popularity Contest
Two weeks into the season and already they want us to cast our votes? Enjoy watching Ty Wigginton, Casey McGehee and Scott Podsednik, America! And I'm sure I-Rod's going to still be hitting .500 come July. [MLB.com]...

Happy 65th Birthday, Shirtless Steve Spurrier
Right now, Spurrier is snorkeling somewhere down in the Bahamas. Judging from that photo, some lucky tropical fish are admiring his chiseled bare torso....

New York Rangers Are Underage Drinkers, Hipster Scum
Sorry, Fauxhemian scum. Anyway, that's Brian Boyle and 20-year-old Michael Del Zotto hitting up a Boston College party after the MGMT concert. Nice Natty Ices, guys. [Watch The Gap Sports]...

Who Is The <em>SportsCenter</em> Farter This Time?
During an impassioned discussion on the Cleveland Browns, someone on the SportsCenter NFL draft panel cut one, just as Mike Tirico began to giggle. Was this a laughter-induced fart or fart-induced laughter? Who is the flatulent panelist? Deadspin-I-Team, assemble. H/T Steve....

Saying Goodbye To Guru, With That Weird Tom Gugliotta Mix
This video was posted on Saturday but after today's news, it's a bit more poignant (but no less preposterous). Listen to Gang Starr's "Peace of Mine" and think about the good times we had. RIP, Guru....

Eck
A reader sent this along claiming he could see a sliver of Eck Toe peeking out of those white shorts during this MLB Network interview (I do agree — very out of place for this segment) but I do not....