g Page 5038 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gus Johnson Soundboard And A Humping Bulldog: The Mashup We've All Been Waiting For
What happens when you mix a horny bulldog with a stuffed bear and the Gus Johnson soundboard? Magic happens....

The Downside Of Playing In A Final Four In Your Hometown
Because Butler isn't traveling anywhere for the National Semifinals, the players still have to go to class on Friday. Although, Gordon Hayward has one on game theory, so maybe he can negotiate a victory or something. [IndyStar, via Bentern]...

Your Tiger Woods <em>Vanity Fair</em> Preview Recap: Sex In Cars And Subway Chicken Wraps Do Not A Girlfriend Make
May's Vanity Fair will feature Mark Seal's in-depth account of the Tiger Woods Saga. Seal interviewed four of Woods' mistresses and several of his handlers. After the jump, what can you expect to learn when when the mag hits newsstands....

Flip Murray In A Nutshell: The Incredible, Too-Late Buzzer Not-Quite Beater
Flip Murray hit an amazing half-court shot in last night's Suns-Bulls game. Unfortunately, the third-quarter buzzer had already sounded, and Flip was left to ponder the thin line between glory and a spot on Dazzling Dunks and Basketball Bloopers. [TheHoopsDoctors.com]...

Denard Span Smacks His Own Mother! (With A Foul Ball)
A woman wearing a Denard Span jersey is plunked by a line drive off the bat of Denard Span. What kind of person wears a Denard Span jersey to a spring training game? Yep, it was his mom. [LoHud]...

The Rise And Fall Of A Hobby, In 12 Baseball Cards
In Mint Condition, author Dave Jamieson tears the wax wrapper off the business of baseball cards, covering everything from old-timey cigarette-pack inserts to "FUCK FACE" and Upper Deck holograms. Here, Jamieson traces the industry's evolution for us, in 12 cards....

More On The Santonio Holmes' Lawsuit: Lies, Damned Lies and Face Rubs
According to several conflicting reports about the incident that led to a lawsuit against Santonio Holmes, the Steeler won't face criminal charges, but only because he intimidated the victim by letting her rub his face?...

Last Night's Winner: Steve Lavin's Wife
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Steve Lavin, who is not only young, well-groomed and gainfully employed, but also married to an attractive human female that (presumably) has sex with him....

Own A Piece Of Television History
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Searching For...This Lady's Dog
Have you seen Sadie? If you have, there could be two Lakers floor seats in it for you....

More About Pete Rose's Sex Life Than You Ever Knew You Wanted To Know
Rose and his Playboy-bound girlfriend did Howard Stern this morning. It wasn't pretty. They touched on Charlie Hustler's endowment, his stamina, and his semen-encrusted bedroom wall. Don't worry: if you don't click through, I won't be upset. [via SbB]...

The (Other) Least Desirable Gig In College Basketball
Maybe I was using hyperbole with my headline yesterday — or maybe I just forgot about DePaul. I've read your plaintive emails, and I agree. The search for the Blue Demons' next head coach is proving just as pitiful....

Shane O'Brien's Favorite Trashy Bar Led To An Unscheduled Week Off
The defenseman showed up late to practice yesterday, so the Canucks told him not to bother showing up for the next few games. Why was he late? We've got an idea, and it'll come as no surprise to Vancouver fans....

The "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story" Gets A Little More Clear
We still don't know who's telling the whole truth: the drunk kid who allegedly barged into Harold Reynolds' hotel room, or the MLB analyst. To help add detail, one former ESPN employee shares his HR experience from Disney World 1999....

Tevez Grabs A Hat-Trick As Expected!
Those who followed The Spoiler's advice by having a little Monday night flutter on the Tevez scoring slippers — you're welcome. Go and treat yourself. Above are the all the goals!...

Why Don't More Famous People Have AIDS?
I went to park my car the other day and the spot I parked in had a parking meter that was out of order. It is ILLEGAL to park in a spot with a meter that's out of order. You'll get a ticket. I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. It's not my fucking fault the meter is out of order. And now we ha...

Duke's Bracket Didn't Do So Well, Either
Duke's precognitive Final Four gear was not exactly accurate, but the t-shirt is subject to change. (Hopefully, it still comes with a Duke logo!) I also hope they don't spend all week watching Huskies' game film by mistake. [Thanks, Garth]...

"Who Isn't Fighting?" Here's A Better, More Brutal Look At That Lacrosse Brawl
Yesterday, we learned of a ridiculous fight at a lacrosse game. Today, the NLL released a video that shows just how ridiculous that fight was. Some day, they will show this video to schoolchildren to teach them about Darwin. [NLLInsider.com]...

Oregon Attorney General Asks, "You Paid Mike Bellotti <i>How Much</i>?"
Former Oregon AD Mike Bellotti will receive a $2.3 million severance package from a job that he held for nine months. The state's Justice Department seems to think that's a lot, especially once they heard that Bellotti never signed a contract....

Watch Xavier Miss Two Wide-Open Layups And Make Charles Smith Feel Better About Himself
Dash mentioned this earlier, and now here's the video: Xavier's Dee Dee Jernigan blows two layups, and Stanford's Jeanette Pohlen goes coast-to-coast and hits a circus layup to put Stanford in the Final Four. It's brutal. H/T Gamboa Constrictor....