g Page 5040 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Andre Johnson And Santana Moss Take The Bus
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cousins Love Fest: Your West Virginia-Kentucky Open Thread
John Calipari goes for his first Final Four trip, Huggybear and the Mountaineers try to stick it to John Beilein one more time for good measure. Predictions on DeMarcus Cousins' weight in seven years below....

The Bulldogs Are <em>Pullen</em> For An Upset: Your Butler-Kansas State Open Thread
No one is saying that Butler is a mid-major darling anymore. Expect that to stop if Kansas State wins. Who do you think Frank Martin looks like?...

I Was There Spring Break Edition: Strippers In Mexico
In 2007, "Lyle" went to Puerto Vallarta for his last college spring break, this is his story....

Erin Andrews And Her <em>Dancing With The Stars</em> Dude Are "Maybe" Dating
This is according to Maksim "Maks" Chmerkovskiy, who sarcastically told Bonnie Fuller's website last week that he and the Sideline Princess could be more than just reality show cha cha partners. They do seem cuddly....

This Is What A Young Atlanta Braves Pitcher Looks Like When He's Busted For Soliciting Imaginary Hookers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Farewell To The Old Man At Spring Break
Well, that's the conclusion of Pat Jordan's "Down And Out In Daytona" series. I hope you people enjoyed it as much as we did. Maybe we'll get to do something like this again when we have more money to spend....

Hulking Man-Mountain And Pixie Companion Pretend To Be Dead Dolphins
Yup, that's Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere protesting a Japanese fishing village's annual dolphin hunt. It could be effective, as it probably reminds the locals of this. [AP]...

Taxpayers Fail To Unsoil Bowden's Legacy
The legal costs for FSU's fruitless fight to overturn those 12 forfeited games? $102,000 in tax dollars, and $70,000 from the boosters' fund. [Florida Times-Union]...

Toni Kukoc And Derek Fisher Have Giant Penises, John Salley Says
Courtesy of John Salley, we're told that the NBA's most famous Croatian export is super-hung for a white boy and that Fisher is "six feet tall with a seven foot dick." Gentlemen, welcome to the geoduck club. [SpiderandtheHenchman]...

Today In Police Intervention At Sporting Events
Courtesy of Puck Daddy, Daniel Rahimi of Rogel scored the game-winner in OT and, like all good villains, "shhh"-ed the crowd. The AIK fans took offense and expressed their disapproval by trying to fight the Rogel coaching staff....

Great Moments In Drunken Spring Break Failure!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Spring Break Failure, where we showcase heartwarming true stories of spring break gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Is Donovan McNabb Dicking The Eagles Around?
If you can think of a better explanation for stating he'd like to be traded to a team that has no intentions of trading for him, I'd like to hear it....

High School Players' Late Father Honored — For All Of Three Months
Due to budget cuts, a Baltimore Catholic school is closing down the court that in December was renamed in memory of the father of two sophomore players. Better than selling the naming rights, I suppose. [Baltimore Sun]...

Harold Reynolds Disputes "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story"
Yesterday we published a somewhat ridiculous Spring Break story from a reader named Kevin that featured an odd cameo from MLB Network analyst Harold Reynolds. Shockingly, Reynolds claims the story is bogus....

The Worst Offseason Workout Program Ever
A longtime North Carolina high school coach is accused of, well, basically torturing some of his students after inviting them over to "lift weights." Seriously, this is Jame Gumb shit right here....

"Paris Hilton Was Taking It From Behind From Some Rock Star..."
Here are some fun recollections from one former MTV producer who worked on several of the network's debauchery-filled Spring Break broadcasts in the early 2000's. He wishes to remain anonymous....

Philadelphia's MLS Team Plays Dirty, Like A Philly Team Should
Well, the Philadelphia Union exist now. And if one game is a large enough sample size, they're going to be every bit as physical as the city has come to expect from its teams....

Pittsburgh Pirates: October 14, 1992
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Pittsburgh Pirates....

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 3: A False-Titted Spring
This is the final installment of Pat Jordan's Spring Break adventure, in which our correspondent attends a wet t-shirt contest and finds America in a state of permanent adolescence and mild arousal. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here....