g Page 5125 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Run For Your Life At The Baltimore Marathon!
Today's Baltimore Marathon route passed with one block of 13 different crime scenes where city residents were murdered in 2009. Alphonce Yatich from Kenya and Iulia Arkhipova from Kyrgyzstan were the only survivors. [Baltimore Sun via Bob's Blitz]...

Your Noontime College Football Thread
It's college football time. Let's see what's on tap for the early games.......

Pretty Girls Made To Feel Uncomfortable At A Baseball Game
What kind of a world do we live in where two attractive young women can't go to a baseball game without getting heckled by opposing fans? Sure, one of their ugly boyfriends was tasered....but what about their feelings?...

Does This Look Foul To You?
Good thing that Major League Baseball adds two extra umpires to cover those close plays down the line in the playoffs. That way no one will have any grounds to complain that a bad call completely ruined their season....

The Pacific Boxer Does Not Wish You Sweet Dreams Tonight
Pacific University—not to be confused with The University of the Pacific—has a mascot who likes to play tennis. He may also be the Gatekeeper of Gozer, but I wouldn't worry too much about that....

Was This A Missed Field Goal?
Cleveland Browns defensive coordinator Rob Ryan is making a big, passive-aggressive stink about the 31-yard kick you see here, the Bengals' game-winner over the Browns on Sunday. Alleged game-winner....

South Carolina Golfer Loses Arm To Angry Alligator
A 70-year-old tries to retrieve his ball from the drink, but a 10-foot alligator decided he'd rather pull the guy into the water and chew on him awhile. They should make a hilarious movie about that! [Fanhouse/ESPN/OurKitchenSink]...

Theo Fleury Admits He Was Abused By Junior Coach
Hockey observers had long suspected that something was not right with former Calgary star Theo Fleury and now he admits in a new book what they knew all along—he was sexually abused by youth hockey coach Graham James....

Will Black Players Refuse To Play For Rush Limbaugh's Rams?
From a purely political standpoint, letting Rush Limbaugh buy into your football team is already an iffy proposition, but there's a more practical football issue to consider as well. Will some top players refuse to work for him?...

What’s The Next Big Late Night Scandal? LET’S PLAY ODDSMAKER!
I was deeply offended by David Letterman's admission last week that he shits where he eats. Not on any moral issue, mind you, but because it gave me a mental image of David Letterman fucking....

This Is The Headline That Haunts Matt Holliday's Dreams
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Fascists Sponsoring Marathons Now, Apparently
By the time you wake up tomorrow, you might be the winner of Milwaukee's Lakefront Marathon. Because every time they declare a victor, they turn around and get disqualified....

It's Always Bitey In Philadelphia
We're still trying to sort out what went down, but it looks like Kris Letang's hand got a little too close to Scott Hartnell's mouth. He might want to get tested for rabies....

Cardinals Defense Takes A Holliday
That is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad way to lose a playoff game. Commenter SavetoFavorites: "Kinda curious how the best fans in baseball will welcome Matt Holliday back home after this one." [Leitch's Twitter]...

Today In Thinly-Veiled Omens
The oldest male jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo has been euthanized, after suffering since August. Panthers throughout Florida and the Carolinas are sleeping poorly tonight. [Times-Union]...

Cole Hamels Leaves Game When Wife Goes Into Labor
Hamels left with his stick-figure artist wife, Heidi, after she went into labor with their first child. Hamels had given up four runs and seven hits in five innings, laying, as if in sympathy, an enormous Game 2 egg. [ESPN]...

White Trash Rebels Fans Would Like To See This Man Dead Over White Trash Comments
The SEC is littered with pugnacious rivalries, and one Bama'-banged Zabka named Taylor Fortenberry created his usual trash-talk video before this week's Ole Miss clash. Unfortunately, now Ole Miss fans want to kill him. Dead. For real....

Philly Fans Aren't The Only Ones Who Get Stabby
Lost and forlorn over Monday night's lost to the rival Vikings, one Packer fan took it upon himself to show one loudmouth he couldn't take the heckling anymore. So he stabbed him in the stomach. [StarTribune]...

A Solo On The Toy Drum
You've read our "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, in which journalists share their bizarre encounters with sports figures and, frequently, their genitalia. Consider this the reverse: Sports figures share their (and, perhaps, their genitalia's) bizarre encounters with journalists....

The Nationals Should Give This Guy Season Tickets For Life
Great story from Captain Steinberg, still exiled in Bogville, about a Nationals fan who saw 19 home games for D.C.'s awful baseball team this year — and they managed to lose every single one of them....