g Page 5136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN Finally Kills Adam Schefter
Since joining ESPN last month, Adam Schefter has logged approximately 32,000 hours of face time on The Network. I guess his schedule finally caught up with him, because he got the consumption today and had to be put down....

Layla Kiffin Shows Support
The vivacious Mrs. Kiffin was decked out in Circus Peanut orange for game day. And whore shoes.[3rd Saturday In Blogtober]...

Is Dick Jauron Dying?
I swear, last night Dick Jauron looked like he was suffering from five different terminal diseases simultaneously. Anyway, time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email me here if you want in....

Tom Brady Is Out Of Suzy Kolber's League
Tom Brady was lucky to escape last night with a win. Needless to say, escaping Suzy Kolber's post-game advances wasn't as easy. [With Leather](Video BarStoolSports/NYC)...

Spanish Soccer Club Whipped Into Shape By Man-Eating Grizzly Bear
Spain's Real Valladolid teaching it's newest training partner the basics of soccer, including how to take a convincing dive when you're a 400 lb killing machine. [The Spoiler]...

Ohio State-USC Game A Missed FAILgate Opportunity
"Ohio State says it has learned its lesson from big matchups such as the Texas game in 2005, in which cleanup crews found several soiled shorts and a few coolers filled with poop." [Columbus Dispatch]...

What Is Wrong With Our Angry Tennis Players?
Federer, bitching to the umpire about a late challenge by eventual winner Juan Martin del Potro: "Don't tell me to be quiet, OK? … I don't give a shit what he said, OK?" Such grace! [YouTube, AP]...

Leodis McKelvin: "I Am Going To Do It Again"
Buffalo Bills fans learned how to deal with disappointment a long time ago, so today is just another Tuesday morning for them. When you've already lost 11 in a row to one team, No. 12 isn't such a big deal....

O.J. Simpson's Last Remaining Fan (And Other Tales Of Woe)
We got many weekend submissions for Morning Crap that weren't good enough to "wake up!" to (or earn their own post) but were too good not to share. So they morphed into this special Voltron-like gallery of awesomeness. Tremble, weaklings!...

You May Now Commence Swooning
Summon the trumpets and cry the hosannas! Tackle football shall be played on the evening of the day following Sunday, and your beloved hero has returned to lead you home. Also, the Raiders will be involved....

The Eagles Will Probably Sign Jeff George By Week 4
Why not? It makes about as much sense as signing Jeff Garcia at this point. But, yes, the man who once lead the team to a false start away from the NFC Championship game back in 2006 has returned. [The700Level.com]...

The Learning Curve: Quarterrack
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Dude, You're Making Out With A Dude
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....

The Best And Worst Shows Kids Force You To Watch
I'm booting up the new Deadspin Open Mailbag post tomorrow (be a part of it by emailing me here), so I thought I'd use today to give a little sneak preview....

Chris Myers Compares Playing For Detroit To Dating Whoopi Goldberg
TMZ has the full quote from Myers, who tried to humorously correlate what it must be like for linebacker Larry Foote to go from the Super Bowl champion Steelers to the coldness of the D....

Brian Urlacher's Season Is Over
The Bears linebacker dislocated his wrist last night and is reportedly out for the rest of this season. Chicago's opening week just gets better and better! [Tribune]...

<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Lives!
Next week brings the joyous return of Joe Buck's Cavalcade of Sporting Chit-Chat and Penis Whimsy, now with what promises to be a marked emphasis on the former over the latter, unless Joe Namath is off the wagon again....

Finally, The Harvard Crimson Will Get Some Media Attention
ESPNBoston is live. No, the URL does not just redirect to "Sports Guy's World." [ESPNBoston]...

Cris Collinsworth Is Sorry
Don't you hate it when someone digs up an embarrassing, decades-old video of you so the entire world can see what you were like when you were young and stupid? Cris Collinsworth sure does!...

UVA's Season Summed Up In Mascot Catastrophe
As if getting blown out at home by William & Mary wasn't a bad enough omen for UVA football, observe what happened before the Cavalier's second loss to TCU....