g Page 5143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Small Way To Liven Up Any Fantasy Draft
You might've missed this fantasy football draft over the weekend, and it's your loss. Like many, it took place in a hotel room. But unlike most, it featured those two magic little words: midget strippers....

Watch As Your Childhood Gets Choked Out
Jason David Frank, best only known as the Green Power Ranger, is entering MMA. His first opponent will be the winless Lord Zedd. [MMA Weekly]...

Reach For The Heavens! Or At Least Use A Ladder
You think embarrassing team photos are a new phenomenon? Check these three light-in-the-loafers Jayhawks from a few years back. I implore you, keep sending these in. After the jump, an unidentified high school team utilizes hardware, for some reason....

You're With Me, Star
A Deadspin operative in Bristol sends us this photo from ESPN's new walk of fame. "Berman has his own star," the tipster writes, "and I think I saw Bob Ley spit on it as he walked to the ESPN Cafeteria."...

The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....

Brett Favre's Just A Kid Out There Who Wants To End Your Career
As noted earlier, Brett Favre launched himself in the direction of Eugene Wilson's cruciate ligaments last night — an undeniable prick move that surely no one would chalk up to Favre's oft-cited youthful exuberance. Right?...

No One In Jacksonville Will Be Forced To Watch The Jaguars
Twelve NFL teams could be affected by blackout rules this year—only three teams had blackouts last season—including Jacksonville, where local television may end up broadcasting zero home games. It's still better than living in Tallahassee. [SBJ]...

Matt Ryan Is A Handsome Man, Science Proves
The screeching teenyboppers at the Wall Street Journal bring word that Matt Ryan is the most knee-meltingly dreamy quarterback in the NFL. It's true because science says so. And believe it or not, this actually sort of matters....

Why Your Team Sacks: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter grou......

What Is The Michigan Story Really About?
Everyone is really worked up about Rich Rodriguez and his problems at Michigan, but maybe there's something else going on here that doesn't have anything to do with the Wolverines....

NFL Preemptively Stops First Twitter Touchdown Celebration
As expected, the NFL has laid down a formal law banning the use of Twitter during games, providing fans with at least one safe haven in the ongoing war to see who can be the league's most obnoxious player....

Adam Jones Heads To Great White North
The Pack-Man, as I will always know him, signed a one-year deal with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the CFL. I wonder if NAFTA covers importation of strip club labor. [Canadian Press]...

Rough Hit Destroys Belgian Soccer Player's Lower Leg
Speaking of horrible below-the-knee shots, our squeamish readers should avert their eyes from Axel Witsel's challenge on Marcin Wasilewski. And by "challenge" I mean "dividing his lower leg into two distinct pieces." Take a moment to compose yourself....

Please Make This Cougar Phenomenon Go Away
Seriously. Just stop. Fellas, if you need a release that bad, act like everyone else and patronize your local washy-wash. You'll feel slightly less humiliated. [7x7]...

White Sox Trade Jim Thome, Throw In The Towel
The White Sox, losers of four in a row, have fallen six games behind the division-leading Tigers. And since it's now September, there's really no point in trying anymore. Time to start shedding contracts and call it a season....

Aim For The Knees, Brett!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Please Help Us With The 2009 FAILgate Project
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. We do not want those stories....

Options Market Gives Sports Teams An Exciting New Way To Rip You Off
Scalping tickets is a pain in the butt, but what if we could take the simple, rational investment principles of the modern stock market and bring them to the ticket resale market? You'll need to start by grabbing your ankles....

Breaking: ESPN.com Commenter Adds Valuable Perspective
Appended to the ESPN.com story about Weepin' Rich Rodriguez's press conference was an intriguing comment from one utah_utes_33. "I play for a D-I football program," utah_utes_33 begins....

August: <i>Fin.</i>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from August, starting with No. 10....