g Page 5154 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

10-Year-Old Hero Closes Door On Jay Cutler Era
Ah, the wisdom of children! It was bad enough when Cutler whined and cried his way to a trade to Chicago, but he crossed another line this week by proclaiming Denver fans to be less than passionate boosters....

Petey Throws Five Innings Of Slop For The Win
It wasn't pretty, or inspiring, but he did end up with the win. And Charlie Manuel used the hillbilly logic to monitor his new, old pitcher: "Five innings and he was ready to be got." [Philly.com]...

A-Rod To Be Put Out To Stud?
Always-reliable gossip rag In Touch reports that Kate Hudson wants Alex Rodriguez to get her pregnant and that "she would assume all financial responsibility." And if he changes his mind, I'm sure he's got $3000 laying around somewhere. [In Touch]...

Stay Classy, Cubs Fans (UPDATE)
So, yeah, this happened tonight. Maybe it's time to retire that old stereotype of Philly having the worst fans? The culprit identified, after the jump....

NBA Age Limit Continues To Destroy Amateur Hoops
Jeremy Tyler becomes the first American player to jump to an overseas pro team before finishing high school. He'll only make $150,000, but for an 18-year-old that's a lot of Slim Jims and PS3 games. [ESPN]...

All The Mutton, None Of The Bustin'
Brainstorm! What if, instead of having scared little children try to ride sheep, we strapped stuffed animals to their backs and made the fuzzy little guys race? Leave it to the Irish to take mutton sports to the next level....

Dwight Howard's Lawyers Tell The World That's Not His Penis
The photos of a man who looks like Dwight Howard pulling down his shorts to reveal his member in a web cam pic found on Mediatakeout are not him, TMZ reveals. Big day for everybody....

What To Expect From "Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals"
The Cincinnati Bengals are not quite the trainwreck they once were, but everyone is still hoping for some kind of entertainment value out of this year's edition of HBO's "Hard Knocks" docudrama. Don't get your hopes up....

Your U.S.A. vs. Mexico Open Live Thread Thingy
Fire up, gringos! It's like the original Mexican-American War, only with less malaria. The winner gets to punch Lou Dobbs in the face; loser gets to keep Texas. Olé your brains out in comments....

The Long Strange Sad Journey Of Lawrence Phillips
Former Nebraska/NFL running back Lawrence Phillips was convicted of seven felony charges yesterday and faces up to 25 years in prison, but he's already in jail, serving a 10-year sentence for another crime. How did it come to this?...

ESPN Safeguards Our Delicate Sensibilities
More inane self-censorship: "When ESPN replayed both of these guys [Lou Piniella and Shane Victorino] screaming their profanities," Mike Pesca notes on Slate's sporting podcast (the ego to the Deadcast's id), "they blurred or pixelated" their mouths. Fuck that. [Slate]...

Spencer Swindle, Eamonn Daggerpiece To Work For Sunglassed Lurker
Congratulations to these fine gentleman. The SB Nation is poised to become scary good. [SBN]...

Don't Even Think About Posting Stolen Baron Davis Photos
Baron Davis' laptop was stolen and he would really like it back. But just to be safe, his lawyer is preemptively threatening to sue the ass off anyone who publishes the personal photos and videos that might be on it....

Pittsburgh Steelers Love Their Illegal Gun-Shooting Parties (UPDATED)
Hackles have been raised by photos of a shooting event where civilians, including members of the Pittsburgh Steelers, are seen goofing off with possibly illegal weapons—all courtesy of the Pennsylvania State Police. Hey, gun safety is for Seahawks....

BYU Players Star In Worst Abercrombie Catalog Ever
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

It Has Been The Most Fabulous Offseason Ever
First it was the UT Lamborghini. Then GaTech and the Transformers. Did the NCAA send out a memo requiring teams to make their preseason publicity photos as macho-in-the-Village-People-sense as possible?...

Rick Pitino Is No Choir Boy
Next time a crazy-eyed blonde accuses an upstanding sports figure of some heinous acts, let's not dismiss everything out of hand. Because while Rick Pitino's not on trial, there's still the little matter of public sex and a secret abortion....

For A Brief Moment, The College Football World Was Turned On Its Head
Our thanks to all 8,358 of you who sent in this screengrab (click to enlarge), which depicts Bruce Feldman, ESPN The Magazine's college football savant, fearlessly forecasting the Florida Atlantic Owls into the national title game....

Leitch-Hating Matador Records Co-Owner Loses Home In Fire
Gerard Cosloy, indie-music maven and proprietor of sporty blog Can't Stop The Bleeding, posted the photo you see here, writing: "This was a hell of a way to get out of hoovering the living room." Condolences. [CSTB, via Steady Burn]...

Nationals' Unexpected Success Sends <em>Washington Post</em> Into A Fugue State
The lede to yesterday's game story: "In the coda of the Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor, composer Johann Sebastian Bach repeats the same chord sequence over and over again, leading the listener to anticipate one resolution ..." [Washington Post]...