g Page 5163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lance Armstrong Has Failed Everyone
Alberto Contador has won his second Tour de France. Livestrong, Alberto! One person who's thrilled about this news? This precocious, Tour-loving five-year-old. [SI]...

Phillies Still Dawdling On Halladay, Just In Case Happ Or Drabek Is Next Halladay And Not Next Mike Grace
The Phillies were all but guaranteed to land the Greatest Pitcher Ever at some point this weekend, but Blue Jays' GM J.P. Ricciardi's now justifiably hard-balling. Impasse!...

Boxer Vernon Forrest Murdered
The former Olympian and one time welterweight/middleweight titleholder was shot in the back 8 times near Atlanta last night during a robbery attempt. [AJC]...

Sumo Cycling: The Next Great Olympic Sport
Perhaps Lance Armstrong would secretly like his teammate Alberto Contador to be pinned down by this extremely zealous fan, so he can win an eighth race....

Marietta, Georgia Books Teen Girl Larceny Squad
CHEERLEADER! SO AND SO! WHAT'S HER FACE! THE UNDERAGE ONE! They've all been charged with stealing $149 from two little girls....

And Now For A Minute Of Actual Sports
Roy Halladay is not a member of the Phillies ... yet. The Toronto Blue Jays' demands of executive bathroom privileges proved too steep for the Philadelphia bigwigs....

Turn Your Child Into A Sabermetric Nerd This Summer
One way you can prevent summer delinquency? "Help children track scores and favorite players' statistics." For a cookie as a reward, have them explain EqA to you. [KPHL]...

Nate Montana Finds Better Football Situation Than Notre Dame
Joe Montana's son has seen Rudy. He knows how this works. First you go to junior college, THEN you try out for Notre Dame....

Hopefully The Wilpons Have Extra Chairs
Mets fans are sick and tired of being sick and tired. The team is playing like balls. They're gonna do something about it ... bug the executives!...

I Know Steve Bartman And This Man Is No Steve Bartman
See this fan? He almost grabbed the ball that DeWayne Wise caught to save Mark Buehrle's perfect game. He should feel, really, really, really bad. [Washington Times]...

We Are Gathered Here Today To Take It To The House
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Suddenly, Everyone Cares About Delaware Again
The NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB and NCAA—what no UFL?—have joined forces to sue Delaware in the hopes of stopping their new state gambling law. Delaware can't have this one thing? They don't ask for much! [ESPN/USA Today]...

The Gospel Of Stephon Marbury
Do I believe in aliens?" Stephon Marbury asked. "I don't know, because I've never seen one. But I believe in Jesus because I saw him in the shower the other day." OK, you win. Time to tune in....

Your Weekend Throwgasm Breakdown: Ice Cream Cone Physics, Rain Delays, And Stinky Dongs
The week's ending. You need shit to do. Well, fear not. For I have compiled a list of worthy activities, media and/or ingestible chemicals to help you entertain yourself....

Food And Drink For Thought With Natalie Gulbis
The Evian Masters offered car service and breakfast and a private golf critique on the Hudson with Natalie Gulbis, and when someone offers a town car, an omelet bar and golf lessons with a star, it's generally polite to accept....

Suspected Cancer Hoaxer Found Dead
Fifteen-year-old brain cancer patient "Jonathan Jay White" turns out to have been a 24-year-old woman in Ammon, Idaho, who was found Wednesday in her car, dead of an apparent suicide....

Steve Spurrier Apologizes For Not Genuflecting To The Tebow
SEC coaches and journalists spent maybe six hours of the conference's three-day media tugjob fretting over the vicious bastard who didn't pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super QB of the year. All because Steve Spurrier can't read....

You Are Sort Of There For Buehrle's Perfect Game
An unemployed blogger provides an on-the-scene report from Mark Buehrle's perfect game. Well, as on-the-scene as you can get from the top of the bleachers. [Tremendous Upside Potential]...

Even Babies Know The Mets Deserve To Get Puked On
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
