g Page 5198 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

John Calipari Wins At Wall Ball
John Wall, the most talked about basketball recruit in the country, will join Calipari at Kentucky. Enjoy what little time you have left with him, Wildcat fans. [Rush The Court]...

Midwesterners Sure Do Love Their Lawn Mowin' T-Shirts
Irked by the loathsome "Zambrano mows my lawn" shirt found on one Cardinals fan a couple weeks ago, the Wrigley faithful come back with their own interpretation....

What Are The Nuggets Going To Do When WWE Runs Wild On Game 4?
Game 4—if necessary! (oh right)—of the Western Conference Finals is scheduled for next Monday night at the Pepsi Center, but there's a scheduling snafu. "Monday Night Raw" already has the place booked....

A Sad Postmortem On NYT's <em>Play</em> Magazine
Sigh. Columbia's New York Review of Magazines has a lengthy look at the "the short, happy, tragic life" of Play, the Times' much-beloved sports magazine and, for my money, sportswriting's last good shot....

Avalanche Coach The Next Victim Of A Roy Family Sucker Punch?
Patrick Roy is reportedly "mulling" an offer to be head coach of Colorado, even though current coach Tony Granato has not yet been fired. If that doesn't work, his sons will just rough Granato up in the parking lot. [Denver Post]...

For Once, The San Francisco Giants Do Something Smart With Their Money
The Giants have been tinkering with what the propeller-heads like to call "dynamic pricing" — raising or lowering prices depending on variables like weather or pitching matchups. Where I'm from, we just call this "scalping."...

The Happy Youngster Lurks Among Us...
Or did. Once. When the story was about him. [Deadspin]...

Yep, Brett Favre Is Definitely Coming Back
Non-retired football star Brett Favre has called in Dr. Andrews and will (reportedly!) have surgery on his bicep next week—which is not something a 39-year-old typically does unless he wants to play more professional football....

Bodybuilders Flee Event When Drug Testers Show Up
The Belgian bodybuilding championships were canceled this weekend after every single competitor suddenly had to be somewhere else and dropped out. I'm sure the unannounced arrival of the doping officials was just a coincidence....

Kenyon Martin and Mark Cuban: Still Bellyaching
Their series is over, but Mark Cuban and Kenyon Martin are still sniping at each other in the press. I think La La should slap them both in the mouth. [Hoops Hype]...

Brewers Fans Want Everyone To Know They Don't Like The Happy Youngster, Either
Brewers Nation has taken to the blogs to distance itself from The Happy Youngster, the entrepreneurial ballhawk and walking object lesson about the perils of being a self-branded public idiot. Amazingly, Matt Vasgersian is involved!...

So What Does Jon Gruden Really Think Of His New Employer?
Having a selective memory and no access to Google comes in handy during a job search. That way, when a network hires you to talk football they aren't embarrassed by old quotes like this one....

James Harrison Snubs Obama, America
The Steelers' Silverback linebacker has caused many sports fans and journalists to gasp and mutter "you dumb bastard" under their breath after he scoffed at the White House invite....

Jon Gruden Joins "Monday Night Football" Crew. Seriously.
Good news for Kornheiser haters! Tony is officially stepping down as third man in the "Monday Night Football" booth. The slightly more exciting (upsetting? baffling?) news is that Lil' Jon Gruden will take his seat....

The Minnesota Twins Had A Rough Weekend
Ron Gardenhire's crew arrived in the Bronx just in time for the movers who finally brought over the magical Yankees Magic Machine from the other stadium. Oooooh ... ghosts!...

Adam Burish Survives Horrifying Decapitation Attempt
The Blackhawks lost Game One of the Western Conference Finals yesterday, but Burish's head is still attached to the rest of his body so I guess he has that going for him. Teammate Ben Eager got tangled up with a Red Wing player in the second period and his foot—you know the one with the freshly shar...

Fat Old Lakers Fan Wearing Sunglasses Rejoices
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Crafty Magic Marketing Team Successfully Added Insult
Enter a New England zip code dressed in opposing team colors and you risk dismemberment. Enter Boston sticker-sniping and you risk death. This group survived and came home with a win. [SpartyAndFriends]...