g Page 5202 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Introducing Your New Deadspinner
Hi. I’m the new guy. Nice to make your acquaintance....

Once Again, Amazing Happened For The Celtics
The parody videos of the NBA's goose-bumping "Where Amazing Happens" videos are phenomenal (Teen Wolf, Hoosiers, etc.) And when something legitimately amazing happens, thankfully, YouTube genius AndrewB cobbled one together immediately after last night's amazingness....

Just Give Your Car Keys To Aaron Brooks And He'll Park It For You
Either the Houston Rockets veterans had a little fun with Aaron Brooks this weekend or he forgot to bring his ventriloquist dummy to the post-game press conference....

Yeah, Bert Blyleven Ate Those Worms
Gee, I wonder why this guy isn't in the Hall Of Fame yet? (It was all for charity, folks.) And where is angry press release from PETA? [Sportress of Blogitude]...

Michael Phelps Loves Chewing Tobacco, Loves Threesomes With Strippers
Nobody does news quite like UK's News Of The World and their latest shocking exposé is no exception—a bare-all interview with a Baltimore "dancer" who claims she double-teamed Olympic hero Michael Phelps...

Filly To Steal Derby Winning Jockey
For the first time in Triple Crown history, the jockey who won the Kentucky Derby may be riding a different horse in the Preakness....

Rockets and Lakers: It's About To Get Nasty
After losing yet another starter, the Rockets are about to try to prove that they can win without Yao. If Ron Artest can keep himself from getting ejected, they might have a shot....

Top Draft Prospect About To Get Paid
Top draft prospect Stephen Strasburg pitched a 17 K, no hitter in his last home game at San Diego State. Expect the Nationals to draft him before getting anally raped by his agent, Scott Boras....

Most Disturbing Sports Souvenir Ever
I now give you a referee who wears one of his fingers around his neck. [Queensberry Rules]...

"Prescribed Medicines" Getting Some Bad Press This Week
Two more sports have been hit by positive drug tests. Shockingly, one of them isn't cycling....

Real Men Swing Pink Bats
MLB is breaking out pink bats again in honor of Mother's Day and to support breast cancer awareness. To promote early screening, doctors will be giving a lifetime of free mammograms to Arod and Manny....

Another Exciting Evening With Rodman
Deadspin fan club member Dennis Rodman has been accused of pulling the ol' dine and dash, with a little assault thrown in for good measure....

Carmelo Anthony Hits Game-Winning Three, All Hell Breaks Loose
Chaos in Dallas last night as Melo hit a game winner, Mark Cuban passed on some Mother's Day greetings, and Josh Howard channeled his inner Hulk....

Yao Breaks His Foot, Done for the Year
The Houston Rockets announced yesterday evening that Yao Ming will be out for the rest of the playoffs with a hairline fracture in his left foot. Adjust your bets accordingly....

Maybe This Young Lady Is Alex Rodriguez's Iris Gaines
The Sports Hernia suggested that this woman who excitedly bounced in the stands after A-Rod's welcome back bomb is perhaps his Baltimore Road Beef. But she could also be his redemption angel. [SportsHernia]...

CBS Golf Analyst David Feherty Has Predictably Enraged People With His Fantastical Column About Shooting Nancy Pelosi
Feherty's column appeared in "D Magazine" and has already been eviscerated by the media mob. Is he a loser?[HuffPo]...

The Day The Tigers Gave Mickey Mantle A Gold Watch Home Run
Of all the allegations levied in Selena Roberts' A-Rod book, the "pitch-tipping" ones seem to really be aggravating baseball's outspoken virgin snow committee. Here's a pitch-tipping story that won't turn your stomach....

An Action-Packed Evening In Philadelphia With Exploding Faces And Slippery Chases
Cole Hamels finally gets a win. Werth hits a homer that smacks a lady in the face. A kid ran onto the field. At the end of it all — still first place. [The700Level]...

There Is Another Sanchez Living Inside Mark Sanchez's Mouth
New York media, please be on high alert: It turns out the man drafted to save the Jets' franchise from the ghost of Favre and the incompetence of Clemens/Ratliff allegedly is lip- inked and loves doggy-style....