g Page 5212 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Football Coach Bans Student Reporters, Takes Gratuitous Shot At Soccer (Update)
Angered over a recent editorial in the school paper, the head football coach at Wisconsin-Whitewater has denied student reporters any access to his team this coming fall....

Stephen Curry Breaks Blogger's Heart
Stephen Curry will forgo his senior season at Davidson and enter the NBA Draft, raining tears all over the Southern Conference—and also breaking a special promise he made to one little blogger....

Jeremy Tyler Is Too Cool For School
Sorry Rick Pitino; Jeremy Tyler will not need your services in 2011. In fact, not only is the 6-foot-11 center bypassing Louisville to play in Europe, he's even skipping his senior year of high school....

Jimmy Smith Is Not Handling Retirement So Well
Former Jacksonville Jaguar star Jimmy Smith was pulled over for a minor traffic violation yesterday and ended up in jail on cocaine possession charges. That's not what I call enjoying your golden years....

Minor League Bat Dog Ejected For Foul Ball
Master Yogi Berra, a bat and ball fetching dog for the Greensboro Grasshoppers, was relieved of his duties after relieving his own uh..."duty" on the field mid-game. That's a crap call. [Triad]...

The Latest Men Of Steal: The Sixers' Marketing Team
After Andre Iguodala decided to turn into the player everyone's pretended he is during the stunning Game 1 upset of the Orlando Magic, the Sixers are doing everything to take advantage of the momentum....

Tom Izzo To Make Musical Theater Fans <i>Les Miserables</i>
Look...I love Tom Izzo and I hate cancer, but if a Broadway-style musical extravaganza starring an undersized Yooper doesn't have Bad Idea Jeans written all over it, I'll eat my tap shoes....

Percy Harvin, Brandon Tate Caught In Draft Drug Sting
Just because B.J. Raji is clean that doesn't mean that there aren't other pro prospects who like the wacky weed. [Fox Sports]...

Ole Miss Football Players Don't Read So Good
Mississippi lineman Jerrell Powe raised some hackles this weekend when he was cited by police for a noise violation—then told the officer that he couldn't sign the citation because he doesn't know how to read....

New Baseball Franchise Attempts To Hitch Its Wagon To Stephen Colbert's Star (Update)
The new Frontier League baseball team in Normal, Ill., needs a nickname, and it's up to you to rock the vote. Of course they're secretly hoping you'll opt for option "C."...

Even Kansas Is Somehow Benefiting From John Calipari's Move
The Henry brothers—high school senior Xavier and his Memphis Tiger sibling, C.J.—are both enrolling at Kansas. (Sources say!) Way to kick a Door when it's down. [Fox, via RTC; more @ SI]...

Beware The Withering Insults Of FIGJAM
Regardless of what people think of Phil Mickelson, he'll always have an enthusiastic fan base and the admiration of some of his peers, regardless of how douchey he comes off sometimes....

Goodell Wants Michael Vick To Say He's Sorry
"Does he understand the mistakes he made and is he genuine and have remorse for those actions and is he prepared to handle himself differently going forward? That will ultimately be my decision." [USA Today]...

Oh, Poor Lindsay Soto
Breasts have always been one of the biggest drawbacks for female sports reporters. Show too much, you're a bimbo. Show too little, you'll be replaced by someone who shows too much....

Ghetto Golf Teaches Us About Urban Blight, Golf
An enterprising video game developer is working on a video game that combines "Grand Theft Auto" with "Tiger Woods PGA." I think even Russian mob-connected carjackers might find this one offensive....

William "Refrigerator" Perry In The Hospital
The Fridge is expected to recover, but is suffering from Guillain-Barre Syndrome, "a chronic inflammation disorder of the peripheral nerves" and also something that doctors call "Shuffleitis." [Sun-Times]...

Umpire Kerwin Danley May Need Stronger Head Gear
Kerwin Danley was carted off the field last night after getting hit in the head with a broken bat—almost a year to the day since he was plunked in face by a Brad Penny fastball....

Alexander Ovechkin Can't Drive 55
Rachel Nichols had a nice "so now you know" profile about the NHL's goofy MVP on E:60 last night. What do you think happens when a toothless, 23-year-old adrenaline junkie gets handed $100 million?...

Cubs Fans Will Never Escape Their Terrible Destiny
A rogue cat invaded Wrigley Field yesterday, reminding Cubbie fans everywhere that the ceaseless torment of loving sport's most accursed franchise will follow them to their eternal damnation beyond the grave....

Yes, Hockey Does Have Buzzer-Beaters
After giving up a 3-goal lead, Carolina beats New Jersey on a slap shot with 0.2 seconds left in the game, which I guess is not a lot of time remaining.[NHL]...