g Page 5218 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Masters Of Puppets I'm Pulling Your Strings
Barring a miraculous Tiger comeback or something extraordinary like Augusta being overtaken by Somali pirates, you can consider this the last post of the day on Easter Sunday. It's your Easter DUAN....

Well This Should Make Bears Fans Feel Better
Professional blog something or other Julia Allison has already kidnapped Jay Cutler on the dance floor.Your season is now over. [Twitter]...

The Woodland People vs. Dustin Pedroia
Last week Deadspin quicklinked to a Boston magazine profile of the Red Sox second baseman, where he characterized A-Rod as a dork and called his hometown of Woodland, California a “dump.” The Woodlandians aren’t happy....

Andy Roddick Will Marry Brooklyn Decker Next Weekend, Deucebag Says (Update)
Sometime Deadspin tennis correspondent Dylan Stableford reports that Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker will officially become a boring married couple in Austin, Tx. next weekend. His full emailed report appears once you click More....

Barry Zito Controls The Universe
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Don't Miss Your Best Chance To Watch College Hockey All Year
Boston takes on Miami in the National Championship at 7:00—but it's on opposite the NCAA Women's Bowling Championship on ESPN2! (Semis online now!) It's like asking to choose the favorite among my childrens! [ESPN; NCAA]...

Defeated Soccer Team Welcomed Home With Cheers, Death Threats
This Argentine squad arrived at their home airport after a rough 2-0 defeat to a Mexican team that knocked them out of a major international tournament, a loss so crushing that their manager resigned after the game. It was such a tough road environment that fans at the game in Mexico were chanting d...

Tiger Woods Somehow Not Winning Tiger Woods Invitational
Experts predict that Tigers Woods will use the third round of his major tournament to make a move on whatever golfers might be leading, setting himself up for a dramatic come-from-behind victory on Sunday....

Everyone Had A Good Time At Ted Ginn's Birthday Riot
Cleveland police had to break up a "near riot" in front of the House of Blues last night, that ended with Buffalo Bills defensive back Donte Whitner on the wrong end of a taser....

High School Player Suits Up For Minor League Exhibition, Loses Eligibility For One Year
Here's another example of sensible well-meaning rules being used to bash an unsuspecting victim over the head for no good reason....

Your Easter Weekend NBA Man Meat
The 2008-09 Cleveland Cavaliers have earned a reputation as being not only an excellent basketball team but also a loose, fun-loving crew. This fun apparently includes drawing fake tattoos on each others' backs....

Frazier, On Ali's Health Problems: 'God Judges, You Know What I'm Saying?'
As a heavyweight, Joe Frazier was as tough and awe-inspiring as they come. That's why it's hard to listen to him now; both because of the way he speaks, and what he's saying....

Don't Call It A Comeback...No Really, Don't
John Daly quit drinking (again) and got lapband surgery. All that you know is at an end. Did I mention he's at Augusta, selling his worldly possessions out of an RV? Of course he is....

Time To Get Your Chicago Pants Party Tickets
The final deadline to purchase tickets for Deadspin's Chicago Pants Party on May 23 is next Friday. If you've been procrastinating, it's time to buy. Follow the link for details and tickets. [Pants Party Details]...

Women, Children Frightened By Giant Hamburger
The official unveiling of the West Michigan Whitecaps' immense 5,000-calorie Fifth Third Burger on Thursday stirred up a variety of emotions, but the following quote is by far my favorite:...

Down In Front, Regis! Celebrity Fans And Why We Hate Them
It's Waxing Off, the Internet feature that was planted in the ground by God to test our faith. This week's topic: The scourge of celebrity sports fans....

The Economy Is Booming, All Is Well
Club Seat has compiled a list of the most overpaid players in the NBA this season. Combined salaries of Raef LaFrentz and Steve Francis? $32,584,775. Combined game appearances? 0. [Club Seat]...

Your Team Is A Fan Of Being On Probation
Please don't take any "What cast member of 'Saved By The Bell' is your 4-star basketball recruit?" quizzes on Facebook, unless you want your program to get slapped with an NCAA violation for being dumb....

All New TV Series Should Include Bobby Knight Posters
Ken Tremendous, aka Michael Schur, may have a hit on his hands with Parks and Recreation, the new series that debuted last night on NBC. How can it fail with scenes like this? [Mouthpiece Sports]...