g Page 5222 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Opening Day Open(ing) Thread
Mets and Reds kick things off at 1:00 p.m., followed by Indians-Rangers, Yankees-Orioles, and whatever other games don't get rained out today. Pithy and informative comments may be left below. Welcome back, old friend. [Scoreboard]...

This Week On A Very Special 'Friday Night Lights' ...
So you've quit the high school football team, and now you want to come back. OK, well, this being Texas, you'll need to drop your pants for a rather brutal paddlin'....

No One Wants To Coach At Arizona (UPDATE)
Dan Wetzel is now reporting that Sean Miller changed his mind and will take the job. I guess this post convinced him....

The Calipari Daughters Should Probably Get Off Of Facebook Immediately
Although the piles of money and ego-stroking are enormous when you join a big-time program like the University of Kentucky, there are downsides. You know, like a burgeoning online interest in your young daughters....

Soccer Player Receives Yellow Card For Farting
A Chorlton Villa footballer "broke wind" during a penalty kick and received a yellow card for his efforts. (And the other team got a re-kick.) When did they change the "he who smelt it" rule? [BBC]...

Couches Will Burn Brightly In East Lansing If MSU Wins Tonight
It's interesting that the East Lansing police are characterizing 60 arrests and "three fires, believed to be ignited on couches," as a peaceful demonstration. What does it take to get classified as a riot?...

Jose Canseco Just Keeps Right On Blabbing
The Nostradamus of Steroids spoke to students on the USC campus this weekend and because he doesn't know how to do anything else, he decided to take some more shots at current, possibly juiced ballplayers....

I'm Assuming The Tar Heels Are Also Welcome To Service Sparty
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

It's Back To Reality
So Brett Myers did his usual opening day routine to sour the flag-hoisting ceremony at CBP. On a positive note, it took 20 minutes before the first boo. Still champions. [Philly.com]...

Finally ... Baseball Will Save Us All!
Thank goodness it's here. It's been a rough 2009 so far, but it is finally time for the baseball season to arrive and soothe our weary souls....

Tom And Gisele's Shotgun Wedding
"Two freelance photographers who snapped pics of Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen's weekend wedding in Costa Rica say they were shot at by the supermodel's security personnel." And they didn't even get cake! [Boston Globe]...

Eric Mangini Will Destroy USC Football From The Inside
Here's a nightmare scenario for Trojan fans everywhere—head coach Pete Carroll announced that he has been "talking ball" with the Browns new chief Eric Mangini....

Geno Auriemma Is Not Afraid Of White Kids
When someone starts off a press conference answer with, "I know I'm going to get criticized for this," you know the rest of the answer is going to be something really super....

Space Cadet In The Outfield?
Ryan Braun swears he saw Manny Ramirez hanging out with fans in the left field bleachers during the Brewers-Dodgers exhibition game last night. Maybe they just told him to play really deep? [Brew Beat]...

Sean Avery Still Has The Magic Touch
I have been complaining that Sean Avery has been handcuffed by the NHL's fun police, but I need not have worried. The guy still has a few stupid and annoying tricks in his bag....

Brian Dawkins To Make His Biggest Fan Whole
Brian Dawkins indirectly cost Eagles superfan Dan Leone his job and Dawkins is going to make up for that in big way. A pair of tickets should cover it, right?...

It's Not So Cold In The D
Oh, did something happen last night? Right ... the basketball games. I almost forgot about that!...

Destinee Hooker Finds A New Name
The Texas volleyball/high jump star is getting married. Her future husband's name: Clifton Gay. Yeah, those kids will be fine. [AP]...

Maybe They Shouldn't Have Torn Down The RCA Dome Just Yet
Now, I would never accuse a government official of being full of shit, but I'm having a hard time believing that Indianapolis will actually follow through with threats to close Lucas Oil Stadium....

It's Like Jezebel's "Snap Judgment", Only With Sports
There's something magical and wondrous located just out of the frame. What do you suppose it is? [KansasCity.com]...