g Page 5352 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while mourning the loss of your mechanical ape ... • NFL: Redskins at Giants (7 p.m., ET). The dance, she begins. [NBC] • College football: South Carolina at Vanderbilt (8:30 p.m., ET). Commodores; the most fearsome of all seagoing officers. [ESPN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's quarterfin...

Chris Cooley and the Redskins' Fantasy Football Draft
There's an exception for fantasy football posts when actual NFL players are involved, right? Crickets. Anyway, Fred Smoot steals the draft show. But is that really any surprise? Also of note, Colt Brennan going with LenDale White in what appears to be the first round of the draft. Decision making...

High Jumping and Vodka Don't Mix Well
Ivan Ukhov is a Russian high jumper. He's pictured above in the midst of a successful high jump. According to many reports, he's also a fan of Red Bull and vodka. No problem there. He'd be hugely popular at Rutgers. But when you combine Red Bull and vodka with a track competition? Well, it's not so...

Afternoon Blogdome: Houston, We Have A Noggin
• This should make Yao Ming less terrified:"Far from offering further evidence that Artest is a madman, here we find Ron Ron just taking up a retro trend whose time has returned. Peep the cover of 3rd Bass's The Cactus Album for a historical point of reference; yes, dudes are white, but they had the...

Even Bathroom Doors Hate the Yankees This Year
When things aren't going well for your team there is no end to the obstacles confronting them. Every day you get online and a new disaster has occurred. Even when you can't see them coming. Such as this story. Jason Giambi split his eyelid walking into the bathroom door of his hotel. Giambi told th...

The University Of Virginia Will Not Tolerate Your Disrespectful Signage
You have hurt Al Groh's feelings for the last time, Virginia fans. The Cavaliers' troubled and sensitive head coach — who really only wants to be loved — has taken a lot of abuse from Virginia fans over the past two seasons. It's in part because of his $1.7 million contract, and in part due to thing...

The Dickpire Strikes Back: The Return Of Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. Ev...

NFL Season Preview: Washington Redskins
We're less than 12 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these preview...

Read Former Utah Jazz Center Mark Eaton's Screenplay: Riding the Bench
Everyone believes they have a screenplay in them. Your mom, your unemployed uncle, and anyone else who has ever watched a movie. Including 7'4 former Utah Jazz Center Mark Eaton. But most of these screenplays never see the light of day, which is fortunate. Not so with the first eight pages of Eaton...

Daunte Culpepper's Rather Depressing Email Retirement
The starnge, sometimes brilliant career of quarterback Daunte Culpepper — who played Butch to Randy Moss' Sundance in six seasons with the Vikings — has announced his retirement. It wasn't at a press conference, but in an email to NFL.com reporter Adam Schefter. Replaced by Trent Green in Miami, a b...

NFL Season Preview: New York Giants
We're less than 12 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews...

Morning Blogdome: A Moment That Will Provide You With A Fleeting Feeling Of Invincibility
• Beating Lebron James in a game of H-O-R-S-E is probably one of them: David Kalb, 26-year-old from Ohio did just that: “After I beat him, he’s like ‘best of three, right?’” Kalb said. “I could tell he was frustrated. After missing a couple of easy ones, he hit the ball in disgust.” [The Big Lead] •...

Venus vs. Serena, Lebron's Trick Shots And Replay Confirms Another Meaningless 9th Inning A-Rod Homer
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you figure out where the hell Rick Chandler ran off to.... • MLB: New York Yankees at Tampa Bay (7 p.m., EST): The reanimation of Carl Pavano continues as he attempts to win his third game in a row for the Yankees without having one of his body parts fall off on the mound. [ESPN]...

Vanderbilt Up Against the Grass Ceiling?
Which, to be fair, would mean a bunch of their players would excel at Penn State. Tomorrow Vandy hosts South Carolina in the Thursday night ESPN game of the week. Today, you can read about their admissions standards and compare Vandy's players to the rest of the SEC. Hint: No other team's starting ...

Afternoon Blogdome: Andray Blatche's Birthday Party Was Enjoyably Festive, Surprisingly Prostitute-Free
• This was just like my 22nd birthday party: "Which was to be expected, because the one thing Andray Blatche really needed to finally elevate his game to the next level was photos of himself with extensive letter "A" bling and a tank top, hosting a birthday party whose guests reportedly included Gil...

Two Sports Medicine Experts Agree: Monta Is Totally Lying
"I'm going to improve every part of my game. That's what I do. That's why I play basketball...to improve and to become the best player [who] ever touched a basketball." Monta Ellis said that just over a month ago, right after he received a six-year, $66 million contract extension from the Golden Sta...

Irish Sports Minister Doesn't Believe A White Man Will Ever Break 10 Seconds in the Hundred Meters
For shame, Marten Cullen, for shame. In the wake of the 2008 Olympics Ireland's sports minister is tired of the country focusing on sports that they clearly can't win. Instead he wants to bring business to bear on sports via the competitive advantage of nations theory. What kind of sports should Ir...

Penn State Football Players Apartment Searched; Marijuana Found
This story is still filtering out, but it appears that the Penn State discipline dance continues. Last night a warrant was obtained to search the apartment shared by four Penn State football players: AJ Wallace, Andrew Quarless, Maurice Evans and Abe Koroma. Police responded to a complaint at 8, kn...

J. Jonah Jameson Is Not Amused
Eat your heart out, T.O. This young man is Arland Bruce III, speedy receiver for the Toronto Argonauts, who play a strange variation of the game of football which includes 16 players per side, among them horses, elves and hobbits. Also the ball is made entirely of bacon. But another thing that makes...