g Page 5360 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Could He Have Possibly Done Wrong?
There's no reason to speculate as to why Louisville back-up quarterback Matt Simms was suspended for four games for "an unspecified violation of team policy." None at all. It could be plenty of things. Maybe he was studying too hard for his physics exam and missed a mandatory meeting? Or perhaps he ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize your father is quite probably insane ... • Little League Baseball: World Series at South Williamsport, Pa., U.S. semifinal, Waipahu, Hawaii, vs. Mill Creek, Washington (8 p.m., ET). Giant 12-year-olds terrorize the 200-foot fences. [ESPN] • MLB: Los Angeles Angels at Tam...
No White Person Has Ever Broken 10 Seconds in the 100 Meters
I thought 2008 would be our year. I really did. After all, if a black man can be elected President (hopefully), then a white person could break 10 seconds, right? But the 100 meters came and went and once more the fastest white man in the history of the universe remains some guy named Marian Woroni...
NFL Season Preview: Pittsburgh Steelers
We're less than a month away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Right now: the Pittsburgh...
Taking Bite Out Of Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan
So when did Olympic boxing become a Three Stooges short? Dzhakhon Kurbanov, a light heavyweight from Tajikistan, was disqualified for biting opponent Yerkebulan Shynaliyevon of Kazakhstan on the shoulder in a quarterfinal bout, but won't face further sanctions from the International Boxing Associati...
Afternoon Blogdome: If You Take My Advice, You'll Become One Of The Great Balloon-Folding Acts Of All Time
•Time To Play The "Outrun NBC" Game. "I understand copyright law is going to disagree with me here, but there's really no good reason we should have to wait another nine hours for NBC to let us see it. I'm gonna get sued now, aren't I? Dammit." [With Leather] •Still Can't Get Enough Irabu. "Perhaps ...
Tiger Woods Is Jesus
At least according to a new EA Sports commercial for his video game where El Tigre walks on water—into a pond— and plays his ball from a lilly pad. The most amazing thing about this commercial is not necessarily that it was made but that EA is now watching YouTube clips and responding to people who...
Usain Bolt Is The Fastest Man Alive. Your Move, Lindsay Lohan
So is there room in the same Olympics for both the best swimmer and best sprinter of all time? Jamaica's Usain Bolt showed what he can do when he decides to run the entire distance, grabbing his his second world record and his second Olympic gold medal, winning the 200-meters in 19.30 seconds to bre...
College Football Previews: #11 Auburn
We're rolling through the top 25 and later this afternoon we'll finally crack into the top ten. Until then enjoy the melodic stylings of 2003 Auburn grad Brian J. Stultz as he brings down the hammer on the Tide, raises the profile of apostrophized greatness that is Sen'Derrick Marks, and defends To...
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Kige Ramsey
Whatever your thoughts on his candidacy for the Deadspin Hall of Fame — and I'm fully aware that our comment ombudsman loses his mind every time Kige comes up — you have to admire that, along among all SHOTY and H of F nominees, only Kige has openly lobbied for induction. It's warms my heart every ...
Morning Blogdome: Ah, Red Sox Fans
• You're not a real fan until you paint your nipples bright red: Just imagine if the Red Sox were still in first place. [Bugs and Cranks] • The Broncos' souvenir shop needs to restock: "Here were the choices for Denver Broncos fans who wanted to buy a jersey at a fifth-level souvenir shop at Invesco...
Introducing The Smart Look For Back To School
Notice to any women who are hoping for hot multiple gold medal sex with a certain big-eared swimmer in the coming weeks; Michael Phelps' sperm are not to be trifled with. As this T-shirt by The Hotness Factory clearly illustrates, his boys can swim; they are pretty much the Navy Seals of spermatozoa...
British Gold Medalist Gets Plastered, Rolls Over a Taxi Bonnet in Celebration
Bradley Wiggins, a double gold medalist in cycling, is the culprit. It's things like this that make people mistakenly believe the British can't handle their alcohol. Or have drinking problems. Wiggins was out celebrating in London House—which is evidently an area of Beijing designed to honor the 20...
Amanda Beard Does Not Want To See What's Inside Michael Phelps' Speedos
Just days after finding out Lindsay Lohan and apparently half the European runway model population would like to possibly make him their boyfriend, Michael Phelps earned a little lesson in humility this week thanks to oft-nude swimmer Amanda Beard. Beard, appearing on a radio show based in Phoneix, ...
BJ Upton Hustles But Somehow Starts A New Controversy, Kite Fighting And Don't Fall Asleep At The LLWS
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the Boobs on Bikes Parade ... • Little League Baseball: Pool play, in South Williamsport, Pa., Curacao vs. Guam (6 p.m., ET); Lake Charles, La., vs. Hagerstown, Md. (8 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • Olympics: Boxing (5 p.m. to 8 p.m., ET) [CNBC]; gymnastics, synchronized swimming, ...
Afternoon Blogdome: This Man Is A Symbol Of The Yankees' Postseason Chances
• Bronx Embalmer: "Angel did not want to be dressed in your typical suit, though. As you can see, Angel has on what probably is an Ed Hardy knock-off T-Shirt with the long white sleeves underneath (you know you rocked this same look in 8th grade). He also has on his Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses, sil...
There Is Access Right There In Front Of The Croissant Table
This morning I attended the "ESPN NFL Kickoff Breakfast and Session with George Bodenheimer" in New York at the Bryant Park Hotel where " executives, producers and on-air commentators " were made "available to discuss the upcoming season..." and I still don't know why. I phoned Leitch about coming ...
New White Sox Danger: Shaving Cream Pies to the Face
And you thought Ozzie Guillen was all the White Sox had to fear in the locker room. Backup catcher Toby Hall is recovering after Jermaine Dye blocked his attempted pie to the face. Does anyone ever wonder where all these pies come from in baseball locker rooms? How many times have you had extra pie...
College Football Previews: #13 Kansas
We're rolling through the college football top 25. Today we get things started with a photoshopped Mark Mangino. Can things get any better for Kansans? The season countdown has entered single digits. We're just nine days away from the glory that is Vanderbilt @ Miami-Ohio. Today's Kansas preview is...