g Page 5404 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Congratulations, Stanley Cup Champion Detroit Red Wings
The NHL Closer is written by five people of European descent at Melt Your Face Off. We're not the first people to blog the Stanley Cup Finals, but Don Cherry still calls us "soft". So, for all you kids out there, Raskolnikov toughened up to recapitulate Detroit's clincher....

About Last Night
What you missed while trashing your workplace because they took your red stapler ... • NHL: Heart like a wheel ... Wings win Stanley Cup! For Christ's sake, don't drop it! • MLB: Paul Konerko ends our suffering, White Sox beat Royals in 15. • NBA: Suns down to four coaching candidates. Hey, where's ...

Hey. You. I Know You, I Know You...
At what point does one realize they have a talent for synchronized swimming? Does it originate from one's ability to hold their legs together during an underwater hand-stand? The ability to splash silently during Marco Polo? Or how affectively they can execute Nomi Malone-style sex-flailing for styl...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch on your first night off from campaigning since January ... • Boxing: Light heavyweights, Yusef Mack vs. Daniel Judah, at New York (10:30 p.m., ET). Same-day tape ... do not reveal the ending! [ESPN2] • MLB: Tampa Bay at Boston (7 p.m., ET). A battle for the very soul of the East Divisi...

The Only Way To Protect Your Hooves
You might think that horse racing is all about the crazy hats, but The Fan's Attic informs us that it's now all about the shoes. Hey, who isn't wearing a pair of these right now?...

Lakers Versus Celtics Part XI: New Blood
The season series: The Celtics (66-16) enjoyed a 2-0 season sweep of the Lakers (57-25). On November 23, they won 107-94 in L.A. On December 10, they won 110-91 in Boston....

Jesus Saves, But Still Takes His Usual 15 Percent
You may know that outfielder Josh Hamilton's negotiations of a long-term contract with the Texas Rangers hit a snag recently when he suddenly changed agents; going from Matt Sosnick of Sosnick Cobbe Sports to Michael Moye of Moye Associaties. The reason? Hamilton is a born-again Christian, and "want...

Cauliflower Ears Get Mainstream Recognition Thanks To Kimbo
One of the more disturbing and enjoyably gross aspects of Saturday night's EliteXC prime time bloodfest was the inevitable popping of James "Colossus" Thompson's swelled cauliflower ear by the mighty right of Kimbo Slice. As Kimbo's fist kept wailing and wailing on the purple upper region of Thompso...

A Whipping To The Sunshine State Spearfish Mates
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...

Barry Zito Is Luckier Than He Realizes
• Imagine if Barry Zito was pitching for the Mets right now. Yipes. [The Legend Of Cecilio Guante] • All neck fat, all the time. [Food Court Lunch] • Big scary predraft NBA numbers. [Rush The Court] • Going to Europe will confuse you about American sports. [Rumors And Rants] • Kobe can never touch J...

The Blog Show Takes One Step Closer To Critical Mass
Any sports personality who's established a serious level of online notoriety now has a must-stop to truly establish themselves as an internet mega-star: Mottram and Steinberg's "Blog Show." The Comcast D.C. mini-sodes have risen from the depths of cable access-style shlockyness to fascinating and en...

Media Approval Ratings: Beano Cook
The last week has brought something wonderful: Official football preseason guides! Yesterday we bought the Pro Football Weekly version — which has the Buzzsaw in the playoffs! — and last week we grabbed Athlon's college football version. (Illini in the top 20!) Yep: It really never is too early to t...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Patriots' Lineman Is Oxy Fiend, Snitches On Dealer
Well, here's a bizarre story from the land of the Chowdah heads: Nick Kaczur, the New England Patriots offensive lineman, has according to the Boston Globe been secretly helped the DEA nab a major illegal prescription drug supplier. Kaczur was arrested last April for illegal possession of oxy and t...

Packers Running Back Puts Burglar On IR
Confronted with a gang of burglars in his home, Green Bay Packers' running back Noah Herron did the obvious thing: He unscrewed a bedpost and knocked one of the them the hell out, and chased the others off the premises. That's exactly what I would have done, if you substitute "unscrewed a bedpost" ...

About Last Night
What you missed when the police took the plasma TV from your prison cell ... • MLB: The Radhames Liz Era has begun. Orioles 5, Twins 3. • NHL: Red Wings' explanation for Game 5 loss to Penguins: It was the refs' fault, of course. • Womens softball: How could you pitch to Kaitlin Cochran? Fools! Ariz...

Killing Yourself To Live
Brit Jon Andrews is 58 and dying of rare form of lung cancer that was supposed to end his life two years ago. As you can see, he's happy enough and financially liquid enough to make it rain at some sleepy English watering hole to the delight of its patrons and — he'd have a helluva story that woul...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after meeting a black guy ... • College Softball: Women's College World Series, at Oklahoma City, Championship Series, Game 2, Texas A&M vs. Arizona State (8 p.m., ET). The only game in town, at least until the Sonics arrive. [ESPN2] • WNBA: Washington Mystics at Phoenix Mercury (10:30...

Erick Strickland Still Catering To The Big, Rich
Lenny Dykstra, who — despite what Jim Cramer and Bernard Goldberg try to tell you — is not a financial genius, might have failed with his catering-to-rich-people venture, but former NBAer Erick Strickland, seen here in the great Mavericks jersey of old, is doing better for himself....