g Page 5419 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
GSTF Tour Returns ... In Milwaukee!
Well, in all the hullabaloo of the last week, we'd almost forgotten: We have a reading in Milwaukee this week! It had slipped past us, what with all the dumbing-down of America....
When The Horses Unite, All Will Fall
No longer will the horses stand idly by while we whip them into submission and destroy their ankles and other important pivots. The rebellion has begun. We attempted to warn you. But you arrogant human beings did not listen....
Ten Years Since Wood's Amazing Game
We love reminders of just how old we really are. Newsweek informed us that it has been 10 years since "Seinfeld" went off the hair air, which is just jaw-dropping, when you think about it. But that's nothing like Friends Of The Program's revelation: It has been 10 years since Kerry Wood's 20-strikeo...
Even Joe Posnanski Gets Yelled At
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...
Round Up The Usual Suspects
• So, who DID rob Rashard Mendenhall? [Blogimore Ravens] • The Knicks need them some Beasley. [Gotham's Clubhouse] • Sorry: Cleveland will still be depressed even if the Cavs win the NBA title. [Slam Dunk Central] • Weird hockey fans. [Joe Sports Fan] • As if you needed a reminder, nobody knows noth...
Even A-Rod's Wife Questions Her Husband's Masculinity
It's tough for most of us to watch those "Miracle of Life" shows where they give you the full access to what it's really like to watch someone have a baby. After viewing it, you soon realize that even the most gruesome horror movies showing a screeching alien ejecting itself out of a person's stom...
Media Approval Ratings: Norman Chad
First off, don't get our own Rick Chandler started on poker analyst and "comedy" columnist Norman Chad. You really don't want to know....
White Sox Locker Room Is Not A Safe Environment For Women, Real Or Inflatable
Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox are now in the midst of being criticized (again) by some sports writers and the Association For Women In Sports Media for their creative blow-up doll, slump-busting shrine. The Association said said the shrine creates an "uncomfortable" environment for female sports w...
At Least SOMEONE Can Take Off The Favre Jersey Without Making A Whole Stink About It
Remember that kid who wore his Brett Favre jersey for four straight years? Well, either because Favre has retired or puberty is just around the corner, the kid has finally taken it off....
Culprit Found In Eight Belles Tragedy. It's Hillary, Of Course
Backing the wrong horse is always deadly in politics, especially when it's an actual horse. Poor Hillary Clinton. How can someone get into trouble just betting on the Kentucky Derby? By making a huge deal about placing a bet on a horse that had to be destroyed right on the track, that's how. Now PET...
Dice-K Takes That Sniffling, Sneezing, Aching, Coughing, Stuffy-head, Fever, So-You-Can-Still-Beat-The-Tigers Medicine
Yeah, well don't get too smug, Tigers' fans. Considering that you started the season 0-7, and you couldn't beat a wildly off-target Daisuke Matsuzaka on Monday, losing 6-3 — your fourth straight loss — I wouldn't be mocking the Lions too loudly. It may not be long before your fans are wearing paper ...
About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that Mongo just pawn in game of life ... • NBA: I can't deny it, and I just can't hide it. I think I have Hornets Fever. • MLB: Albert Pujols and Lou Brock ... pretty much the same guy. Cardinals 6, Rockies 5. • Hockey: How many times to I have to say it: Don't $#!% w...
Streakin' Ain't Easy
Unless, of course, you are Tiffany May, who reached mid-level internet notoriety thanks to her patriotic half-streak during the USA v. Honduras qualifying match last March. May has parlayed her spirited underwear dash into a Playboy pictorial, where she will bravely ditch the rest of her clothes and...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you put the finishing touches on your beer can coffin ... • Arena Football: Chicago at Tampa Bay (8 p.m., ET). Storm's a-brewin'. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Detroit (7 p.m., ET). This matchup looked pretty bland two weeks ago. Now, I'm looking forward to it. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conf...
Ozzie Guillen Does A Brilliant Ozzie Guillen Impersonation
Perhaps it's appropriate that Ozzie Guillen would unleash one of his patented expletive-filled tirades on Chicago fans, the Cubs, and media outlets just a few short days removed from the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia's epic f-bomb ranting. Maybe it was an homage. But more likely it was just Ozzie Gui...
A Soccer Goal Like Few Others
We think, after a shot like that, you don't get to strut as if you just didn't something over which you had total control. If you can classify that as "strutting."...
Who's Sorry Now? Rocket Edition
Nowhere in the recorded history of regret has there been a more hang-dog expression than this. Hasn't Roger Clemens suffered enough? Just look at him. The round head that reminds you of the boulder that chased Indiana Jones. The pale skin that reminds you of the moon. The furrowed brow where he keep...
Go Ozzie! Go Willie! Go Jack!
If you'll forgive us a brief moment of self-indulgence ... our daily obsession for the last few months paid off last night as our 1986 Strat-O-Matic St. Louis Cardinals won the National League East by one game over Baba Booey's New York Mets. (And two games over Doug Glanville's Philadelphia Phillie...
The Buzz Bissinger Affair, In Song (And I Feel Fine)
It's The End Of Sports News As We Know It [YouTube]...
Miguel Tejada Homers For The Sick Kids
We know that Miguel Tejada is supposed to be Public Enemy Number Uno these days — "E-60" certainly thinks so — but he had his Superhero moment this weekend, hitting a home run he'd promised to a kid with muscular dystrophy....