g Page 5463 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Night Of The Killer Zamboni
• Help! I don't know how it works! • Bob Knight is an ESPN analyst! I see no way this can end badly. • The St. Louis Cardinals post that almost wasn't. • Canadian hockey players remind us that high school is supposed to be fun. • Will goes on a tropical island vacation, wakes up in the Scottish mili...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch to avoid hanging out with murderers ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Allan "One-Arm" Green vs. Antwun "The Procrastinator" Echols, at Marksville, La., (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • College basketball: NCAA Division II, Central Intercollegiate Athletic Association tournament semifinals at Ch...

FAMU + Athletics = Crazy
So this probably needs to be addressed: Florida A&M freshman quarterback Michael Johnson was arrested today after he admitted that he lied about being attacked at gunpoint in his dorm room. And no one is sure why he did it....

Would You Hire This Man To Sell Your Underwear?
So word is that Calvin Klein is driving hard to the basket, trying to lure Tom Brady as their underwear model/spokesman. For seven figures. Wow. Do I want to live in a world where Tom Brady makes more for underwear modeling than Heidi Klum?...

Whither Randy Moss?
So the NFL Free Agent Season officially kicked off today, and there was much rejoicing. But the really big news (for me, anyway) is still far way, apparently: Brett Favre is still in limbo, and Randy Moss isn't talking (although speculation is he's heading to the Panthers). Until there's news on eit...

So They're Expecting A Few People For That Dodgers-Red Sox Exhibition Game
If you're planning on attending that March 29 exhibition game between the Dodgers and the Red Sox at the Los Angeles Coliseum, better get your butt in gear; they've already sold 90,000 tickets. An expected 25,000 standing room tickets are soon to go on sale, meaning that the game will most surely br...

Big Ten Pets Are Ready For March Madness/Snausages
Poor Cuddles. Ever since Kelvin Sampson left Indiana, he has refused to leave his bucket. And as the NCAA Tournament approaches, I think we can all identify ... obsessing over our own team's weaknesses; sitting as we are in our own metaphorical buckets of regret. Except that I'm wearing mine on my h...

Barry Bonds Is Not A Good Influence On Terrell Owens
Here's video from TMZ of Barry Bonds and Terrell Owens partying it up in Vegas. I'm not sure what the green liquid is — TMZ says it's absinthe — but it's clear that Owens is not a fan. This is exactly how I imagined a night out with Bonds would go. "Here, drink this! Don't worry about what's in it; ...

Trev Alberts Calls Himself 'The Trevy?' Really?
• Trev Alberts muses on Deadspin's Media Approval Ratings. Enjoy. [YouTube] • More on Tony Kornheiser's rant on bloggers [The LAist] • Analyzing those big EliteXC, MMA and UFC agreements. [Welcome To Jarry Park] • "I live in San Francisco and I've never seen a car this festive." Ha. [100 Percent Inj...

Derek Anderson Leaves Browns For Free Agency, Signs With Browns
I'm picturing the scene from Meet The Parents where a dejected Ben Stiller stands in an empty terminal and must wait his turn to board the airplane, thanks to the by-the-book airline employee who has yet to call his row. "Please step aside, sir."...

ESPN Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Kevin Borseth Is Quite Passionate About Offensive Rebounding
You may not care about women’s basketball, but don’t say that around Michigan coach Kevin Borseth. He’s, um, into the game. And as you may have picked up from this clip, he thinks that offensive rebounding is rather important. Not sure if he’s ranting at his players or at the officiating here, but e...

Nicole Manske Will One Day Rule The World
So you probably new that NASCAR has its own Erin Andrews (although I prefer the original). But did you know that Nicole Manske has her sights set on the NFL? Manske, a former Miss Illinois Teen USA and native of Rockton, Ill. (where she was a high school cheerleader on the same squad with Danica Pat...

Kick His Ass, New Sea Bass!
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

The Madness Begins Tonight
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming the Floor....

Kobe Won't Stop Looking At DWade
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who freaking slept through the Mavs/Spurs game but then woke up for the Heat/Lakers game and therefore wants you to please, please kill him. When he isn't begging for death, he can be found seeking it out at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Tim Duncan + Doing Everyth...

Welcome Back, Baseball. We've Missed You
Shhh, listen ... baseball season is here! We know because we hear the anguished cries of collegiate players being pummeled by the pros. In sports' version of a large man chasing a dachshund with a shovel, baseball continued its storied and venerable tradition of major league teams opening spring tra...

About Last Night
What you missed while ... is that a PLEDGE PIN? On your UNIFORM??! ... • NBA: Lakers win 10th straight, but does it count if it was against the Heat? • MLB: Dodgers beat Braves in Torre's debut, causing Alyssa Milano to jump up and down and squeal with delight. Welcome back, baseball. • College bask...