g Page 5634 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Luc Longley carries you and the TV out of the burning house ... • Arena Football: Georgia at Philadelphia. Nicknames? We're lost. Anyone? [ESPN2] • Baseball: New York Yankees at Minnesota. Welcome to the Snow Globe. [ESPN] • NBA: Pistons at Knicks. It's all right now, I learned my l...

Carmelo Anthony Would Rather Not Be Bothered While Eating A Slurpee
You know, we're trying to think what bothers us more: Carmelo Anthony punching a Knick at Madison Square Garden or a friend of his decking an autograph-seeker at a 7-11....

Another Way To Assure Your Child A Life Of Misery
In an example of creative nomenclature that could only have come from Ohio, a couple has named their child "Tressel Hayes Huffines."...

Blogdome: Zach Johnson Fever
• A final Masters recap. [Dogs That Chase Cars] • OK, Detroit, take another wide receiver. [The Smittblog] • Not a fun weekend to watch baseball in Cleveland. [Kid Cleveland] • Braves fans are feeling pleased with how matters are going so far. [Bad Braves Fan] • How to fix soccer. [Ghosts Of Wayne F...

Last Chance For Midwest Pants Party Tickets
A while back, we let you know about The Deadspin Midwest Pants Party, coming this May to U.S. Cellular Field. Well, this is the last week to get tickets, so we figured we'd remind you....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. MLB with Buster Olney: Mind if I call you Bob? • 3 p.m. After Jackie author Carl Fussman: Will you be promoting this on Imus in the Morning? • 4 p.m. Page 2's Patrick Hruby: No, I have no idea why the Pulitzer Committee is ignor...

The Big Lead, Schrutebag And The Feisty New Ombudsman
Say what you will about ESPN executive editor John Walsh, but he definitely made a fascinating choice hiring Le Anne Schreiber as the Leader's new ombudsman. Schreiber weighed in on the whole Schrutebag-Big Lead issue over the weekend, and she pulled no punches....

NBA Roundup: LA Confidential
Notes on Sunday's games in the National Basektball Association ......

Tiger, Or The No Name?
In almost every sport other than golf, we are conditioned to root for the underdog. When it comes down to the final moments, when two competitors face off for the ultimate prize, we feel compelled to get behind the guy trying to win his first title, rather than watching the old champion get another ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while playing full contact Monopoly ... • NBA: Wade is back for Heat, but not at full strength, evidently. • MLB: The Giants are who we thought they were! • NHL: Islanders win shootout, trip to playoffs (no soup for Toronto)....

Jesus Wins The Masters
I'd like to credit Zach Johnson for the win, but he keeps giving all the credit to Jesus. Hey, he won it, he gets to choose where the credit goes....

To Watch Tonight...
• MLB. Boston Red Sox @ Texas Rangers. You're going to want to hop aboard the Sammy Sosa bandwagon sometime soon. 8:00, ESPN. • Red Stripe Champions Cup. Boys Town FC vs. Portmore United. I hope the cup is presented to the champion by the guy in the Red Stripe commercials. I like him. 7:00, Fox Socc...

LeftoverDome...
• The Big Lead is back up. I guess Cowherd doesn't do his show on weekends? Enjoy it today, just in case the path of destruction picks back up tomorrow. [The Big Lead] • Don't you think the Temple Owls have enough problems, Philadelphia Eagles? [Philly.com] • Congratulations to the Michigan State Sp...

I Hope There's A Really Nice Trophy For Him
I'm all for setting world records and general feelings of accomplishment, but I usually stop when any of the following are involved:...

I Like Oscar de la Hoya's Chances, If He Doesn't Explode Before May 5th
I'm not an expert on boxing training techniques, so I don't know if this is a common practice or not ... it's hard for me to imagine, though, Mike Tyson training for a fight by getting a full body nude "greasedown massage" from a fellow named Freddy Roach, and then engaging in non-ejaculatory sex....

Phil Mickelson Is Not A Wooden-Shafted Legend
I had no idea that song had words. I liked it better before I discovered that earlier in the week ... and I didn't like it much then. It's nothing personal, but I want to beat that guy to death with a 9-iron....

Golfer Of The Week: Elsie McLean
Short of Tiger Woods winning the green jacket and celebrating by making love to Phil Mickelson's wife on the front porch of Butler Cabin while Jim Nantz describes every detail with awed reverence, we'll not be seeing anything this cool at The Masters today. 102-year-old Elsie McLean made a hole-in-o...

Let's Celebrate A Resurrection
The resurrection of Christ is being celebrated everywhere today (my apologies for violating the separation of church and Deadspin, especially to the many Deadspin readers who are proud, Godless heathens), so I thought we'd go in a different direction here and celebrate a couple of other equally-impo...

About Last Night...
• MLB. Padres 3, Rockies 2. Do not underestimate the strategic advantage provided by camouflage uniforms. • NBA. Nets 120, Wizards 114. Jason Kidd and Vince Carter become the first teammates to have a triple-double in the same game since Jordan and Pippen in '89. Jordan and Pippen would not have req...
