g Page 5677 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Horses Get Their Goose On
Controversy continues to shake the world of horsies who run fast. A Nebraska veterinarian is accused of injecting horses with vodka, I assume because it seems like a colossal waste of vodka, because I can't imagine why anyone would give a damn about horses being injected with vodka....

The NBA's Shame
I've been critical of David Stern and his obsessively fascist measures to cultivate a friendly, lilly-white non-threatening image for the NBA, but perhaps I was misguided on that....

About Last Night...
• NBA: Pistons 104, Timberwolves 98, 2 OT. More on this one in a few. Chris Webber, if you're curious: 16 points, 7 boards, 4 assists. • College Basketball. Georgetown 74, Seton Hall 58. I didn't even know that Seton Hall still had a team. • NBA: Suns 106, Blazers 101. I say we just cancel the rest ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after an exhausting afternoon of Winnie the Pooh Day festivities ... • Boxing: Light welterweights, champion Randall (George) Bailey vs. Michael (The Roaming Gnome) Warrick, for IBA championship, at Key West, Fla. [ESPN2]; Junior featherweights, Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Cuauhtemoc (The At...

AFC Championship Pants Party: Colts Vs. Patriots
All right, Colts-Pats. We'll take it. It's a canned storyline, but it's still a fun one ... particularly if Peyton Manning has to drive the Colts down the field with less than two minutes and the Pats up by, like, four. That sounds amazing....

"42 ... 15 ... Set ... Down ... BLECHHHH ... Hike!"
From a Texas high school championship game last week, here's a young quarterback who is going to let absolutely nothing stand in the way of victory. How do we know? The guy vomits, then hikes the ball, throws a game-winning touchdown pass, then vomits again. Now that's devotion. Or, at the very leas...

The First Rule Of Pillow Fight Club: Do Not Talk About Pillow Fight Club
"Pillow fights were different in my day," said the old man, his wrinkled features revealing the memories. "We didn't have these modern synthetic pillows, or neck pillows with lumbar back support. We used the real thing, with feathers! Yeah, sometimes they'd bust open. But that was the chance you too...

Blogdome: My First ESPN Mag
• Taking down ESPN: The Magazine, one page at a time. [Rivalfish] • The Eagles could be on the verge of signing an odd new punter. [Blinq] • A baseball fan's new Hall of Fame project. [Book Of Scrap] • Athletes, their sons and the movies. [The Serious Tip] • The Congressman who voted against the Gat...

Apparently, There Are Blood Dopers In Cycling
So you know how Floyd Landis was tested positive for doping — kind of — after the Tour de France and they're probably going to give his title to the second place finisher? Well, turns out, that's probably not going to work either....

NFC Championship Pants Party: Bears Vs. Saints
We're not sure what more we can say about any of these games, except to say that Rex Grossman vs. Drew Brees is certainly the marquee quarterback matchup of Sunday, without question....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Bracketology with Joe Lunardi: Is it right for my wife to describe our scheduled lovemaking this Saturday as "a play-in game?" • 3 p.m. Mid-Majors with Kyle Whelliston: Do you think that Creighton has a chance in the ... oh no, ...

This Week In Soccer: At Last, Consequences For Taking A Dive
Marco Borriello is a soccer player for Milan who recently failed a drug test following a match with Roma, but had a very interesting excuse in his defense. You've heard of accidentally testing positive for banned substances by eating a poppyseed muffin, or taking cough medicine? Well, take a look at...

Oh, To Be A Cop Outside A Steelers Game
As many of you likely already know, the great city of Pittsburgh has a mayor who is 26 years old, Luke Ravenstahl. He's in the midst of a campaign right now — he took over the job when former mayor Bob O'Connor died — and that means when you were once handcuffed outside Heinz Field for an altercatio...

Ice Jumping Seems To Be Rather Important In Norway
As you might have suspected, we do not speak Norwegian; we're not even that fluent in Swedish Chef. So we're going from a rough translation here, but apparently a Norwegian women's ski jumping team is in trouble for punishing poor jumps by punching the offender in the face....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while suddenly looking suspicious for carrying a water bottle to the gym ... • NHL: Is she fast? It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less then 12 parsecs. Bruins over Penguins, 5-4. • NBA: Mavericks beat Lakers for NBA halfway-point championship. • Tennis: Hey, Serena Williams!...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your plans to jog around the globe hit a snag ... • College men's basketball: Massachusetts at Xavier [ESPN]; Wake Forest at Duke. You know, an enterprising thief could rob Krzyzewskiville blind tonight ... [ESPN2] • NBA: Indiana at Miami; L.A. Lakers at Dallas. Let's see how man...

Bonds And The Giants Just Can't Quit Each Other
Yesterday, Barry Bonds did nobody any favors by endorsing Pete Rose and Mark McGwire for the Hall of Fame, inspiring each of them to put their paws over their face like a goldendoodle puppy. But the bigger news might be that the Giants are considering voiding Bonds' contract after the news of his po...

She's Back! And Just In Time. Bluebirds, Cardinals. Affirmed.
Is it any wonder that Barbaro's latest recovery seems to coincide with the return of Dee Mirich to the Barbaro message board? Things looked bleak recently for Big Boss Horse until, yesterday, this message appeared from the heavens....

Deadspin's Heading To Miami And Looking For Direction
As we've mentioned before, AJ Daulerio — whom we hear is the balls — will, for the second consecutive year, be covering the Super Bowl for us, and we couldn't be more excited. (We're not going ourselves; we don't handle sunlight well.) The guy's got an expense account, a laptop and a penchant for ge...

Blogdome: How To Make Money Back From Dice-K
• Get your Dice Dogs. [YanksFan/SoxFan] • It's the Hockey's Ladies of Greatness! [Hockey's Ladies Of Greatness] • Sal Fasano lives! In Toronto! [The 700 Level] • Nothing wrong with Beckham in the MLS. [The Fan's Attic] • Kyle Lohse, millionaire. [Baseball Critic] • If they had last year's NFL Draft ...